


In the Grey

by Seigus



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Police, Drama & Romance, F/F, Organized Crime
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-12
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2018-08-14 15:39:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 50,596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8019616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seigus/pseuds/Seigus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Organized crime is big business, a dangerous temptation to even the most righteous individuals when they are down on their luck. In the bustling city of Tokyo, Tsubasa and Honoka are lovers who work for the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. Their love faces the ultimate test when one strays to the underworld in search of power and riches. (Now with <strong>story art by noelclover</strong> in Chapter 12!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When She Had an Angel

**Author's Note:**

> I did it! Here I present you the first chapter of the TsubaHono crime fiction I mentioned in the end notes of my previous story! This is different from my usual lighthearted works but I hope you'll still enjoy it ^_^  
> There'll be graphic violence in the story so if you can't bear the thought of our beloved girls getting hurt, I suggest you click the 'back' button now :)

_Click clack. Click clack._ Furious typing on the keyboards. _Shuffle shuffle._ Hurried flipping of documents. The fourth-floor office in the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department was a hive of activity.  
  
_Riin-_ A hand picked up the phone before the first ring ended.  
  
“CIB Unit 47, Ayase speaking,” a crisp, feminine voice answered. All other activities in the room ceased as four pairs of ears pricked up. “You found out where they are dealing? Great- What? In fifteen minutes?” Sky blue eyes widened at the new information. “We can only reach in twenty. No, don’t take action on your own, understand? Honoka? Honoka!” Ayase Eli slammed the phone down, startling her team members who had gathered around her the moment the call came through.  
  
“Where’s Honoka?” Concerned amber eyes peered intently at Eli. Sonoda Umi had a sinking feeling in her stomach from the way the call ended.  
  
Eli bolted up, grabbing the bulletproof vest draped over the back of her chair. “We’re heading to Setagaya. Honoka has tracked the Blue Men to an abandoned warehouse there. The drug deal will take place in fifteen minutes when the buyer arrives. Knowing her, she's going to intervene on her own if we don't make it in time.”  
  
“That reckless idiot.” Umi clenched her jaw as the group of four raced down the station’s corridor to the entrance where their car was parked.  
  
“The Blue Men are highly armed. She’s gonna die.”  
  
Eli shot a disapproving look at the scarlet haired woman running behind her. “We won’t let that happen and I trust Honoka.”  
  
“As much as I’d like to believe that, Honoka’s luck can’t last forever,” quipped Yazawa Nico, backing up Nishikino Maki’s earlier claim. “The Blue Men are ruthless. Police or not, they kill on sight.”  
  
Eli gritted her teeth, blonde brows furrowed in deep thought as the car's engine revved to life. Their teammate Kousaka Honoka had a knack for barging into dangerous situations in order to achieve the operation’s objective even at the expense of her own safety. Her luck had always been astounding, allowing her to emerge unscathed or with minor injuries. The number of lectures the optimistic ginger had chalked up over her years of service never succeeded in making her change her ways.  
  
“Eli.” Umi’s solemn voice snapped the inspector out of her thoughts. “I remember Kira-san’s team is investigating something around that area. Shall we ask them to back up Honoka?”  
  
Kira Tsubasa- widely acknowledged as the most promising young inspector the Tokyo Police had had in years.  
  
Eli and her team had worked with Tsubasa’s unit a few times in the past. She knew she could count on the gifted brunette and her two trusty co-workers, Yuuki Anju and Toudou Erena. The trio were highly efficient in solving cases and could be just as brutal as the criminals. And, Eli thought with a wry smile, Tsubasa would do anything to keep Honoka safe.  
  
“Call them,” ordered Eli.  
  
“Yes, Ma’am!”

* * *

Tsubasa stared hard at the red flashing dot on the tracking device attached to the car’s dashboard. It hadn’t moved for the past five minutes. The 26-year-old exhaled in relief.  
  
“You are such a stalker,” Erena remarked, voice laced with amusement. Tsubasa’s eye twitched.  
  
“Don’t say that, Erena. Tsu-chan is just worried about her girlfriend.” Anju giggled. “But Tsu-chan, you will get cross-eyed if you keep staring like that.”  
  
Tsubasa grunted in annoyance. “Cut that out.” She stepped a little harder on the gas pedal.  
  
“We are speeding, you know,” reminded Erena who was in the front passenger seat. “And for God’s sake, focus on the road instead of that bleeping red dot of a hyperactive carrot top. I don’t wish to die in a car crash.”  
  
“She’s not hyperactive,” Tsubasa retorted.  
  
The tallest of the trio snorted. “Yeah, yeah. Shall I pretend I don’t see her bouncing like a puppy whenever she sees you? Plus the time she practically danced into our office because she came up with a cheesy theme song for the police force? Does she think we are the Power Rangers or something?”  
  
Silence fell between them.  
  
“Fine. Maybe just a little,” conceded Tsubasa with a small sigh. A gentle hand squeezed the short leader’s tense shoulder.  
  
“Don’t worry, we’ll let you know if Honoka-san moves from her spot,” Anju offered kindly from the backseat before giving Erena a that’s-enough look. “We know she means the world to you. Right, Erena?” Erena recognized the warning tone in Anju’s voice and reluctantly agreed. She shouldn’t push her luck.  
  
In just under five minutes – thanks to Tsubasa’s F1-worthy racing skills - the car came to a screeching halt outside an auto junkyard located a good distance away from the main streets. As they exited the vehicle, they spotted Honoka’s lime green Kawasaki Ninja parked next to the rust-covered gate. Tsubasa smiled as she briefly recalled the time Honoka insisted on that particular model because its colour reminded her of Tsubasa’s eyes.  
  
_Please be safe, Honoka._  
  
She checked the tracking device again and her heart lurched when the dot representing her girlfriend started moving. Night had already fallen and the dingy place was shrouded in darkness save for a few scattered street lights; she feared she could not find Honoka in time.  
  
**BANG!**  
  
Tsubasa cursed. It had already started.  
  
More shots cracked through the air. The trio jumped into action, sprinting towards the gun battle. They stuck close to the towering stacks of scrapped cars as they moved along with their firearms drawn. Between the tiny gaps, Tsubasa spotted a flash of familiar orange in the distance but it was gone in the blink of an eye. She crouched low and took aim from behind the banged up hood of a red Audi as running footsteps approached.  
  
One second. Two. And she discharged her weapon at the next person to enter her field of vision. The body fell with a solid thud. It was a clean shot straight through the cranium, typical of Tsubasa’s style.  
  
_Don’t you dare lay a finger on my girl._  
  
She leapt out and fired another two shots, effectively taking out two more armed thugs. _Tch. Small fries._ The ones in charge were probably making their escape as they wasted their time here. A distinct click - the kind that sends a chill down one’s spine - sounded from behind and Tsubasa barely dodged the barrel of bullets that riddled the spot she had previously occupied. Taking cover behind a van, she found herself cornered. Whoever was wielding that submachine gun obviously didn't care about running out of ammunition, leaving her with no opening to even get a shot in. But if he thought this inspector was content with being a sitting duck, he was dead wrong. Tsubasa bit her inner cheek and threw her gun high into the air. In the split second the man was distracted by the flying object, she whipped out a dagger and struck him right between the eyes. She smirked. All those dart games after work hadn't been in vain.  
  
Retrieving her weapons – and flicking the warm blood off her blade before keeping it – she scanned the area for her partners. As expected, they were holding off the gang members without breaking into a sweat. A bunch of lifeless bodies littered the ground; no one had managed to get past them.  
  
"I'll leave here to you ladies!" she yelled over the sound of gunfire.  
  
"Yes, yes. Go get her, tiger!" Erena shouted back with much sarcasm.  
  
"Good luck, Tsu-chan!" cheered Anju, not taking her eyes off her targets.  
  
Tsubasa was glad she had them as teammates. As annoying as they could be at times, especially Erena, she knew they always had her back. She took off in the direction she saw Honoka running in. The powerful roar of an engine caught her attention. Right ahead was said woman clinging onto the roof of a car that was speeding towards the exit. _She’s been watching too many Hong Kong action movies,_ Tsubasa thought, resisting the urge to facepalm. Closing one eye, she aimed her gun at the back tyre.  
  
"Honoka, jump!"  
  
The ginger did as told without hesitation and landed with a side roll. Tsubasa busted the tyre, causing the car to swerve wildly and crash into the junkyard's gate. The heavy steel snapped off its hinges, crushing the front of the vehicle. As the driver stumbled out, head bleeding, he was met with two guns pointing at him.  
  
"Hands up where I can see them." Tsubasa’s eyes steeled into a hardened gaze, her voice low.  
  
The portly middle-aged man dropped the briefcase he was hugging and raised his trembling hands. Honoka handcuffed him to the steering wheel of a nearby car while Tsubasa continued to hold him at gunpoint. They opened the aluminum case, revealing its contents - full packets of white powder stacked on top of each other. The pair exchanged knowing nods.  
  
As they rounded up the handful of surviving gang members - the rest were wiped out by Anju and Erena - Honoka turned to Tsubasa and asked, “How come you are here?”  
  
“Because I received news that a certain sergeant was intending to pull a Rambo.” The brunette flicked Honoka’s forehead, earning her a yelp. The pout on Honoka’s face was all it took for Tsubasa to soften her gaze and ruffle the other’s already messy hair. Honoka took the chance to squeeze Tsubasa in a brief embrace, visibly chuffed by her girlfriend’s surprise appearance.  
  
“Is he the one?” Tsubasa tipped her chin towards their captive.  
  
At that, Honoka’s face fell. “He’s just the head of a small local gang called Eastern Dragons. Most of the Blue Men managed to escape and the ones left behind are just a few lackeys and the Eastern Dragons. But,” she tapped her earpiece, “I’ve informed Eli. Hope she can intercept the Blue Men.”  
  
“At least we’ve got the goods and enough evidence to put this guy and his gang behind bars. One less nuisance on the streets,” consoled Tsubasa before turning to her teammates. “Any Blue Men caught on your side?”  
  
Erena gestured to a rather young-looking man kneeling on the dirt with his hands cuffed behind his back. Aside from a few bruises and a small trickle of blood oozing from his mouth, he was considered one of the luckier ones. He raised his head in a show of defiance, glaring intensely at the officers.  
  
And then he chuckled.  
  
“What’s your problem?” Erena frowned, fighting the urge to wipe that smirk off his face with a well-aimed backhand. He spat at her foot, marring her black leather chukka with sticky blood.  
  
“Why you-”  
  
Before Erena could lash out at him, Tsubasa clocked him in the jaw with the butt of her pistol before shoving the muzzle against his temple. His eyes rolled back from the impact.  
  
“Apologize,” growled Tsubasa. But all he did was to laugh even louder, shoulders shaking vigorously. Then just as abruptly as it started, his laughter died before he muttered something incomprehensible under his breath.  
  
“What?” Tsubasa nudged his head roughly.  
  
“You will not get any info out of me,” he repeated. With a determined - and somewhat crazed - look in his dark eyes, he bit down hard on something in his mouth. “Long live the Blue Men!”  
  
“No you don’t!” Tsubasa grabbed his jaw, forcing his mouth open. But it was too late. She spotted the vacant spot where a molar should be. The henchman made a strangled gasp and sucked in rapid but shallow breaths. Seconds later, his body fell limp. “He’s dead,” Tsubasa announced after she was unable to detect a pulse. “Probably cyanide poisoning.”  
  
Honoka wailed, tugging her hair in frustration. “There goes our only lead!”  
  
“That may not be the case if Ayase managed to capture them,” Tsubasa reminded. As if on cue, Eli and the rest of her team arrived in their nondescript black Nissan Skyline GTR which simply looked the worse for wear with numerous bullet holes in its cracked windshield.  
  
“They escaped,” Eli informed, looking ashamed.  
  
“And Nico got shot,” Maki added.  
  
The black-haired officer beside her protested immediately. “I did not! The bullet only grazed my arm. Understand the difference!”

Maki merely twirled the ends of her hair. “If I hadn’t pushed you down, you’d have suffered more than a graze.”  
  
Nico opened her mouth to rebuke but found herself speechless because the younger woman was right. Ignoring her two bickering subordinates, Eli explained their encounter with the notorious criminal organization, “I regret to say we were no match for the Blue Men. They attacked us with submachine guns so I had no choice but to abandon the chase for the team’s safety. Sorry we wasted your efforts in tailing them, Honoka.”  
  
“No, no! Not at all.” Honoka was quick to dismiss Eli’s guilt. “What’s more important is that you girls are all right.”  
  
Umi strode up to her longtime friend. Honoka gulped soundly at the furious glare directed at her.  
  
“Can you stop being so reckless? Do you know you could have died by throwing yourself into such a dangerous situation? Eli told you not to intervene on your own but you didn’t listen!”  
  
Honoka inched a step back, sweat dripping from her forehead. “But I’m fine, aren’t I?”  
  
“That’s only because Kira-san’s team found you in time! When will you get it into your thick skull that you won’t always be so lucky? The Blue Men are no small-time gang. Do you know how many of our comrades had died in their hands?” Umi bit her lower lip when she felt it start to quiver. “I... I don’t want to rush to a scene only to find your corpse one day.”  
  
“Umi-chan...” Guilt gnawed at Honoka’s heart, spreading through her chest. She had been so oblivious to her childhood friend’s feelings all this while. A hot sensation stung the back of her eyes. “I’m sorry, Umi-chan...”  
  
Tsubasa stood by the side, a casual hand on her hip, and watched with an affectionate smile as her girlfriend crushed Umi in a bear hug. She looked away when footsteps approached her.  
  
“Thank you, Kira-san,” Eli said with a small bow.  
  
“It’s nothing. Actually I should thank you for informing me. Like Sonoda, I don’t want anything to happen to Honoka too.”  
  
“She can be quite a handful, can’t she?” Eli glanced at Honoka.  
  
Tsubasa shrugged. “Yes, she can. But I love her all the same.”  
  
A faint blush crept upon Eli’s cheeks as she coughed into her hand. “You are truly direct with your feelings.”  
  
“I’ve always been this way.” The fellow team leader grinned.

* * *

After lengthy interrogations, Eli’s team could not acquire any useful information from the Eastern Dragons members. The Blue Men were extremely careful not to divulge their base of operations to their buyers. And their means of contact were only temporary, vanishing without a trace after the messages were conveyed.  
  
In short, the Criminal Investigation Bureau was back to square one.  
  
Even though they had taken down the Eastern Dragons and prevented the immense amount of heroin from leaking into the drug market, they were now left with no leads on the source of their headaches. Their informant told them the Blue Men had halted all dealings after the incident at the auto junkyard but before the police could fish more information out of him, he disappeared. Perhaps he had chickened out like most informants; perhaps he was discovered and silenced by the Blue Men. No one knew. In the following weeks, Eli’s unit raided nightclub after nightclub but all their efforts only resulted in the arrests of more drug abusers and insignificant peddlers.  
  
“Ah, I’m so tired!” exclaimed Honoka as she slumped into the plush maroon loveseat, tossing her head back. She closed her eyes as exhaustion took over. Days of non-stop aimless searching had turned up nothing. No sign of their informant. No sign of the Blue Men. When she felt the space next to her depress, she sidled up to the slight body. A slim arm draped itself around her shoulders, pulling her close. From the soothing warmth and light apple and magnolia scent, she didn’t have to open her eyes to know it was Tsubasa.  
  
The rest of Unit 47 settled down in the other cushy seats around the low mahogany table. The group were at their usual hangout spot after work - a cozy darts bar located in the bustling Shinjuku. It enjoyed a steady stream of regulars but was never crowded which was what they liked about it. Earthy grooves of smooth jazz instrumentals played over the sound system. The soulful saxophone tunes coupled with the mellow glow of rustic country-style pendant lights filled the bar, relaxing its patrons.  
  
A young woman sporting silky taupe hair that hung at the small of her back waltzed over, a bright beam on her amiable features. She stopped beside Umi’s one-seater and half-sat on the leather arm.  
  
“The usual tonight?” she asked the group in a melodious voice that could melt anyone’s heart. As she waited for their responses, she leaned against Umi, causing the bluenette to stiffen.  
  
Nico rolled her eyes. “Jeez. Aren’t you the cavewoman, Umi?”  
  
“Yeah,” agreed Maki who was twirling her wavy hair with an unimpressed expression. “You and Kotori have been dating for years. Isn’t it about time you get used to her touches in public?”  
  
If Umi was trying to kill the two smart mouths with her glare, she was failing terribly. No thanks to the fiery schoolgirlesque blush taking over her cheeks. At this moment, the curvaceous woman next to Eli spoke up, a mischievous glint shining in her turquoise eyes.  
  
“You two are actually agreeing on something for once.” Toujou Nozomi waggled her eyebrows devilishly at the duo. “Nicocchi, have you started dating Maki-chan without telling us? How could you? And I thought we were such good friends.” Nozomi put a hand to her ample bosom, feigning hurt.  
  
“W-Wh-What?!” Nico stuttered. “No way!”  
  
“W-Who would want to date someone who looks like a kid?” Maki snapped though the darkening red on her face was not helping her case at all.  
  
A growl escaped Nico’s throat. “Who are you calling a kid? I’m older than you, you goddamn baby!”  
  
“Says the person who is still wearing high twintails!”  
  
Eli sighed. Turning to her girlfriend, she chided, “Nozomi, did you have to do that?”  
  
Nozomi simply stuck out her tongue and sat back to enjoy the heated exchange. Suddenly, a thought materialized and she leaned close to Eli, lips almost touching the inspector’s ear. “Don’t you think they’d have lots of angry sex if they got together?”  
  
“Wha... Nozomi!” Eli all but spat out her drink, completely aghast. “I do not want to have that image in my- Argh, too late.” She gripped her throbbing head, clearly distressed by the latest mental image her cheeky lover had injected into her mind.  
  
Minami Kotori looked on in worry. She was never one to like disputes. “Erm...” she started uncertainly. “How about drinks on the house today if you two stop quarreling?”  
  
Nico whipped her head towards Kotori, eyes sparkling. “Really?”  
  
“Cheapskate.” Maki _had_ to say it.  
  
“You-”  
  
But before they could continue, Umi stood up and stalked over to the two officers. Her imposing figure loomed over them, casting an ominous shadow.  
  
“No free drinks.” She narrowed her eyes pointedly at Nico who shuddered from the sudden - and unwanted - attention. “Kotori, you are running a business. We can’t take advantage of you. If these two won’t shut up, I will _personally_ escort them out.” As she voiced the threat, she rolled up her sleeves menacingly.  
  
“Fine,” Nico conceded even though her indignant expression said otherwise. Maki crossed her arms and glanced away - a telltale sign she didn’t desire Umi’s escort service.  
  
Later, when the drinks and snacks arrived, the snoozing Honoka caught a whiff of the Osaka-style deep fried skewers and awoke with a start, nearly bumping Tsubasa’s chin.  
  
“Food?” she asked, still bleary-eyed.  
  
“Yes, and your favourite cocktail,” answered Tsubasa, somehow unfazed by the large patch of drool on her shoulder while the rest cringed in disgust.  
  
Honoka’s face lit up. “You got it for me?”  
  
Tsubasa nodded. “I hope that’s what you want tonight. I took the liberty of ordering it as I didn’t want to wake you up just now.”  
  
“Of course! I’d drink anything you get for me!” As if to prove her point, Honoka grabbed her glass and took a large gulp only to choke when the alcohol went down the wrong pipe. Kotori hastily passed a napkin to her sputtering friend. By the time Honoka was done coughing, her face was almost as red as Maki’s hair.  
  
“Honoka, can’t you be a bit more civilized? Seriously, you aren’t a child anymore,” lectured Umi. Having been friends with Honoka since they were diaper-wearing tots, she was used to the Leo’s impulsive - and often embarrassing - actions but it didn’t mean she condoned them.  
  
“Kotori-chan, Umi-chan is scolding me again!”  
  
“Stop disturbing Kotori! She’s can’t always help you!”  
  
Nozomi hummed, another impish thought hatching in her mind. The sly grin was all Eli needed to know her girlfriend was up to no good again. Her headache increased tenfold. “Say,” Nozomi began, replacing her smirk with a thoughtful finger to her plump lips, “the three of you grew up together but Umi ended up with Kotori. Wouldn’t it be interesting if Umi got together with Honoka instead?”  
  
Umi balked at the idea. “NO. I would die an early death.”  
  
“You are so mean!” whined Honoka.  
  
“Sloppy. No self-control when it comes to food. Always procrastinate. Drool in your sleep. And you almost killed Kotori and me when we were kids when you made us climb that tree with-”  
  
“You are still upset about that?!” Honoka asked in disbelief. “That was twenty years ago!”  
  
Umi huffed, crossing her arms. “Honestly, I don’t know how Kira-san stands you.”  
  
There was a collective gasp and Umi felt five intense gazes burning into her.  
  
Tsubasa raised a finely groomed brow when her name was mentioned. All along she had been content to relax in the corner but she couldn’t let it slide when the spotlight was on her. That, and the topic involved her beloved girlfriend.  
  
Umi’s face paled.  
  
“Are you questioning my taste in girls, Sonoda-san?” Tsubasa leaned forward, elbows resting on her thighs as she steepled her fingers. Her voice was quiet, and deathly cold - not unlike the one she used on criminals.  
  
“N-No, I didn’t mean it that way...”  
  
Honoka felt a snicker bubbling up her throat but she fought it down. She knew Umi had always been on the edge when it came to Tsubasa as the brunette, despite being Honoka’s girlfriend, was ultimately their superior in the force. And Umi, a stickler for rules and ranks, was adamant about not crossing that line.  
  
“You aren’t wrong.”  
  
“Eh?” Honoka blinked in confusion when Tsubasa cast an impassive sidelong glance her way.  
  
“She _is_ messy, has a bottomless pit for a stomach, doesn’t run her errands until the last minute and,” Tsubasa gestured at the damp splotch on her black blazer, “drools on me all the time.” She released a long, exasperated sigh. “Why am I with her?”  
  
No one in the group breathed, clinging apprehensively onto every word.  
  
Honoka’s stomach churned. Cold sweat beaded her forehead. A tide of emotions washed over her. Fear. Guilt. Anxiety. Had Tsubasa finally had enough of her?  
  
The flat line that was Tsubasa’s lips curved at the corners.  
  
“Because she’s Honoka. And I love everything about her.”  
  
The tender smile that Honoka was so used to returned and she nearly burst into tears when she launched herself into Tsubasa’s arms.  
  
“Uwah! You scared me there!” Honoka cried into the crook of Tsubasa’s neck, rubbing her face against smooth skin.  
  
Tsubasa let out a hearty chuckle. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist- H-Hey! Even though I said I love everything about you, you don’t need to be so generous with your mucus!”  
  
The others finally breathed.  
  
“Gosh, Kira-san! Don’t do that again! My heart almost stopped for Honoka,” Eli groaned. All she wanted was to have a nice drink and chill after work; she _really_ didn’t need these shenanigans. Mirth shone in Tsubasa’s clear irises while she ran her fingers through Honoka’s soft apricot locks. Then she peered expectantly at Umi.  
  
“Does that answer your question, Umi-san?” She dropped the surname, her voice no longer icy as if it had been warmed by the very woman in her embrace.

* * *

A crystal white pearl sports sedan pulled up outside a traditional Japanese sweets shop near Akihabara. A large navy flag bearing the hiragana ‘ho’ fluttered in the cool night breeze. Two young women exited the vehicle and walked towards the quaint entrance of the two-story building.  
  
“Thanks for sending me home.” Honoka stopped when she reached the door.  
  
“My pleasure,” Tsubasa replied with a soft smile.  
  
“Sorry I can’t stay over at your place tonight. I really, really want to! But my parents need my help tomorrow morning before the shop opens.” Honoka’s shoulder sagged. Cuddling Tsubasa to sleep had got to be one of her favorite activities together with munching on bread.  
  
“Silly.” Tsubasa lifted Honoka’s chin. “There’s always next time. You have the key to my apartment anyway. Drop by whenever you like.” Hand still holding Honoka’s chin in place, she closed the distance between them, capturing peachy pink lips with her own. She could taste the lingering traces of Honoka’s screwdriver cocktail from earlier; it was a tantalizing mix of sweet and bitter. Darting her tongue out, she gave Honoka’s lips a quick lick before pulling away and laughing at her girlfriend’s surprised expression.  
  
“No fair!” Honoka cried.  
  
“It’s payback for drooling on my jacket.” Tsubasa winked, right hand resting confidently on her hip.  
  
That night, as Honoka snuggled under her warm covers, she closed her eyes, picturing Tsubasa’s charming visage in her mind. It was a bedtime ritual she did whenever she couldn’t sleep over at Tsubasa’s place, believing it would help give her sweet dreams about her girlfriend. Just as she was about to drift off to dreamland, a deafening crash shattered the peace of the night. Her senses jolting awake, she threw open her room’s window and squinted into the darkness. A black tabby darted out from the tiny alley behind her house. It bumped into a recycling bin on the opposite side of the street, causing another ruckus when the bin toppled over and spilled its contents.  
  
“Just a stray cat, huh...” Frowning, she stood there and listened closely for any suspicious sounds.  
  
None.  
  
A strong wind whooshed through the neighborhood, rattling flimsy shop signs and windows. Honoka shuddered from the sudden chill and fumbled to close the window. As sleep pooled on her eyelids, she shuffled back to bed, consciousness gradually ebbing.

 

If only she had investigated the crash...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Do let me know what you think in the comments. My new job starts in Oct but I'll try my best not to take too long between updates as I really want to see this story through to the end.


	2. When There Was Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Blue Men are still out of Unit 47's grasp but a new development shines hope. What will it take to finally track down the Blue Men's whereabouts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! Had wanted to update last week but was too tired from work. Hope you'll enjoy this new installment!

She should have investigated the crash. She should have. But she didn’t. And now she was staring at the ice-cold corpse of Ishida Hisao, their informant who had dropped off the radar weeks ago. His usually sunken cheeks were ghostly pale, and his lips a depressing purplish-black. His lifeless russet eyes were wide open, reflecting the fear that consumed him in his final moments. Honoka felt sick when a fly landed on his right pupil and she couldn’t help but blink hardly in his stead, as if the insect was eating at her own eyeball. His battered, scrawny body was half-sitting, half-lying on the gritty floor of the alleyway, head tilted at awkward angle and exposing the gaping gash across his throat. Dried, browning blood made a messy trail down his ragged T-shirt.

Sobs sounded in the background and Honoka’s insides tightened. Her mother was the one who discovered Ishida when she took out the trash in the morning. Honoka blamed herself. If she hadn’t gone back to sleep, if she had been less lazy, if she had gone to check the crash behind her house last night, her mother would have been spared the traumatizing sight. Her mother’s scream still echoed in her head. It had made every hair on her body stand on end. She ground her teeth together as guilt ate her up from the inside.

Then dread seeped into her pores when she realized something.

* * *

Honoka pored over the forensic photographs scattered on the oval boardroom table. She cringed at the sight of multiple near-black welts on Ishida’s pallid torso. Biting her lower lip, she moved on to the next image. The back of Ishida’s head was a clumpy mess of shattered skull fragments and congealed blood. He had suffered too much before his death. The initial autopsy report stated he died from blood loss but judging from his numerous injuries, he would not have survived long even if his throat wasn’t sliced like a hapless farm chicken. The guilt sitting in her stomach intensified. Ishida might have chosen to be an informant purely for the financial rewards but no one could deny his tip-offs had helped the authorities nab countless drug dealers. He didn’t deserve such a tragic death.

“It has to be the work of the Blue Men!” Nico declared hotly as she slammed her palm on the table, visibly upset the Blue Men had one-upped them again.

“They discovered his informant identity. There’s no other way around it,” said Maki.

“And they remember Honoka from that night at the junkyard and somehow found out her address,” Umi concluded, voice tense. “They are threatening us.”

The members of Unit 47 shifted their attention to the silent Honoka. She hadn’t spoken a word since they returned from the crime scene. An unreadable expression marred her normally cheerful features.

“Honoka.” Eli placed a hand on her subordinate’s shoulder, hoping to ease some of her worries. “The superintendent has assigned our men to watch over your family and the neighborhood. The culprit shouldn’t dare to do something again with so many eyes watching.”

Contrary to their expectations, Honoka responded with a large smile - but the smile didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m fine, guys. And I trust our colleagues will protect the neighborhood.” She stood up, adjusted her gun holster and earpiece, and threw on her khaki bomber jacket. “I’m going out to continue the search for the Blue Men.”

“But Honoka, if they are behind Ishida’s death, you could be their next target. It’d be better for someone else to do it,” Eli voiced her disagreement with the officer’s plan.

“Even better. I will bait them out.” The staunch determination in Honoka’s cerulean eyes told Eli there was no talking her out of it.

“Wait!” Umi grabbed her things. “I’m coming with you.” She gave Eli a discreet nod before following Honoka out the door. But just as they stepped out of the office, they came face to face with Tsubasa who uttered a quick ‘follow me’ before she marched towards where Eli was.

“Unit 47, I have some footage that might be of interest to you.”

“Is it regarding Ishida’s case?” Eli asked.

“That’s right.” Tsubasa held up a small blue memory card between her fingers. “A voyeur was caught this morning after Honoka’s neighbor made a police report.”

“My neighbor? A voyeur in my neighborhood?” Honoka wondered, appalled by the news. “Wait, does that mean the voyeur also lives near me?”

Tsubasa nodded. “On the opposite side of the street.”

Honoka’s jaw dropped. Her neighborhood was certainly getting too happening for her liking. First, Ishida’s body was found behind her house. Then, a pervert living opposite her. “Don’t tell me it’s Abe-ojiisan who did it? He watched me and my sis grow up!”

“Unfortunately, yes. And some of his videos have you in it.”

“WHAT?!” Memories of the kindly old man giving her lollipops when she was young flashed through Honoka’s mind and she suddenly regretted accepting them.

“Don’t worry. It’s nothing scandalous. It’s just you being, well, you... though he admitted to deriving sexual gratification from watching the videos. But,” the brunette’s grip on the memory card tightened so much that the rest feared she would break it, “I’ve made sure he won’t do it again.” Nico, who was sitting nearest to Tsubasa, caught a glimpse of a crimson smudge that looked suspiciously like fresh blood on the inspector’s knuckles and her body did an involuntary shudder. God knew if the man was still able to breathe through his nose.

“Anyway, back to the main point. The footage he took last night of Honoka’s neighbor might have accidentally caught the person responsible for leaving Ishida’s body behind Homura. Look through it carefully.” Tsubasa tossed the card to Eli who mentally thanked the heavens it was still in one piece. Then she walked over to Honoka, locking gazes with the ginger. “Be careful during your investigation, ’kay? I’ll drop by Homura as soon as I can after work today to check on your family. See you there.”

Umi peeked at Honoka’s face, observing quietly as her friend’s eyes glimmered with unshed tears as though the strong front she had put up was slowly crumbling in Tsubasa’s mere presence.

* * *

“Tsubasa wasn’t kidding when she said all the videos of you are simply you being your usual stupid self. Seriously, eating a whole sandwich right before bedtime? That’s the surest way to gain weight,” Nico deadpanned. “He’s really sick to masturbate to these.”

“Were you hoping to see Honoka naked?” Maki shot the petite woman a questioning frown.

“Eww, no! I’m not Tsubasa!” Once the words slipped out, Nico slapped her hands over her mouth, panicking. Her eyes darted around, making sure said inspector didn’t suddenly appear.

Umi slammed her hands on the table, shaking the monitor that was playing the video. “Enough, the two of you. Be serious.”

Ignoring them - she was pretty much numb to Nico and Maki’s bantering by now - Eli stopped the playback and rewound it. “Look at this.” She pressed the play button. On the dark screen, the footage was shaky as though the camera was being moved around to get a different angle. It panned to a lopsided shot of the alley behind Homura, showing two shadowy forms dragging a third person along the narrow path. As they dropped the body against the wall, they knocked over a metal trash can. Honoka’s breath hitched when a black cat darted out of the alley. Her fingernails dug into her palm, leaving tiny crescent-shaped impressions. That was the crash she heard. She watched with bated breath as the two figures stiffened and snapped their heads towards the main street.

Her right hand shot out and smacked the pause button.

One of the faces was illuminated by the street lights in the split second he looked up.

“It’s him!” Honoka gasped. Sharp undercut. Bleached slicked back hair. Beady eyes. She had seen him a few times during the team’s raids at Kabukichou’s nightclubs but he was always clean, giving the police no reason to bring him in for questioning. She unpaused the video, hoping to catch a glimpse of his accomplice but the camera jerked violently and appeared to fall to the ground. Static filled the screen before it went black for a few seconds. Then the visuals came back on to show Honoka’s neighbor changing.

“Mmm... Nice ass...” mused Nico in appreciation before she was promptly silenced by a flying pen to her forehead courtesy of the team’s best markswoman.

To make sure they didn’t miss any details, the team scrutinized the rest of the videos captured by Abe, including the latest one taken just that morning. That was when Honoka’s neighbor noticed the elderly lecher filming her while she was changing into her work clothes.

“Doesn’t she know to draw the curtains when she changes?” Maki huffed and leaned back in her seat, feeling a complete lack of pity for the victim.

“It’s a good thing she’s not Honoka. If not, Tsubasa might be facing a murder charge now,” Nico remarked as she recalled the blood on Tsubasa’s hand earlier.

Eli cleared her throat, right brow twitching as she tried not to acknowledge their wise cracks. “We are going to track down this man at Kabukichou tonight. Take him alive at all costs.”

“What if he commits suicide like the other Blue Man at the junkyard? If that guy was anything to go by, the members seem to have a cyanide pill hidden in a false tooth,” Umi reminded.

“Then we’ll just have to stop him before he could release the poison.”

* * *

The time was 6:00 PM. Some of the nightclubs and bars in Kabukichou had already raised their shutters for business. The well-known red-light district was beginning to teem with pretty boys sporting gaudy anime-like hairstyles and skimpily dressed women in high heels. They distributed fliers advertising various pleasure services for the establishments they worked for. Nico casually accepted one from a handsome tout and nearly choked when she saw the cover charges. It was way out of her league - her paltry civil servant salary would never allow her to bask in the lavish attention provided by the famous host clubs regularly featured in magazines.

Honoka adjusted the black wig she had on and tried in vain to scratch an itch on her scalp. It had been bothering her since they left the station. She wondered how her favorite cross-dressing idol group wore wigs for almost the entire day while entertaining fans with energetic dances and unwavering smiles. Despite the overwhelming urge to rip the long hairpiece off, she endured it for the sake of the operation; she couldn’t alert their target by broadcasting her presence with her signature ginger locks. Honestly though, she didn’t see the point of doing this. Unit 47 had become common faces in areas like Kabukichou and Roppongi where nightlife and drug activities were bustling. Even if their target did not recognize her, he might be able to identify her teammates. However, Nico had insisted on her wearing a disguise to play safe so here she was looking like a long-lost relative of Cleopatra while weaving through crowds under colorful neon signs. Her heart was pounding. She constantly walked ahead of her group, eager to find the man in the video. In spite of their relentless efforts,all the establishments they ventured into turned up nothing. Even the Yakuza members who guarded the clubs and love hotels that their gangs operated claimed they had not seen the man recently when showed his picture.

“Looks like he’s not here,” Eli said as the team gathered outside a Family Mart. She took a sip of the bottled iced tea in her hand. It was already 2:40 AM, more than seven hours since they began their search. Their target was known to frequent the clubs at around 11 PM. “It’s been a long day. Let’s continue the search tomorrow.”

“I’m not tired. I can still go on,” Honoka asserted.

“Honoka, we will resume the search tomorrow night at a later time so that we can last till the clubs’ closing times. You guys have been up since seven because of Ishida’s case. You need rest.”

“But-”

“No buts.” Eli stood firm with her order. “Tomorrow’s reporting time will be twelve noon. Get lots of sleep because we’ll be working overnight tomorrow.”

“Yes, Ma’am!” everyone but Honoka answered. Knowing her subordinate’s knack for disobeying orders, Eli made sure to drive her home first before sending the others back. When Honoka entered her house, she blinked in surprise upon finding the lights in the living room still on.

“Welcome home,” came a familiar smooth voice from the couch.

“Tsubasa!” A smile finally found its way to Honoka’s face for the first time that day. She chucked her keys haphazardly on the coffee table and collapsed onto Tsubasa, not caring even when the keys slid off and clattered nosily on the wooden floor. The tiredness in her body melted away as the feeling of being pressed against the brunette soothed her more than anything else in the world. “Why aren’t you asleep yet? It’s already three,” she asked when she pulled back from the embrace.

“I was worried about you.” Tsubasa pinched her cheek. Her heart twinged when she spied the puffy bags under Honoka’s eyes. “And I was checking the neighborhood earlier. Didn’t see any suspicious characters but I bumped into Hoshizora and Koizumi who are on patrol tonight.”

“Oh, Rin-chan and Hanayo-chan! I haven’t seen them in a while.” Honoka perked up a bit as she was quite fond of the two juniors in the force. “By the way, how’s my mum...” Her voice trailed off when she recalled her mother’s reaction to the gruesome find.

“She’s still a little shaken but it didn’t stop her from manning the shop today. Your father closed the shop earlier than usual though to let her get more rest. And I think my presence provided some assurance.” Tsubasa flashed a peace sign and her trademark wink.

Honoka giggled at Tsubasa’s deliberate smug face; she never failed to lift her spirits. “Aren’t you full of yourself?”

“Isn’t that what you see in me?”

“I can’t deny that.” Honoka played absentmindedly with the soft cotton fabric of Tsubasa’s heather grey T-shirt. “Who wouldn’t feel safe with the star of Tokyo’s police force around?” she jested. They cuddled in silence until Honoka murmured a soft but heartfelt ‘thank you’, blushing a tender pink against Tsubasa’s chest. Leaning down, Tsubasa planted a kiss on her crown and spoke three little, but very dear, words into her ear.

When Honoka woke up the next morning, the spot next to her on the bed was cold, indicating that Tsubasa had long left for work. Noticing her mobile’s notification light blinking, she unlocked the screen to find a photo attachment from Tsubasa. It was a shot of the T-shirt Tsubasa wore last night with a large wet patch near the round collar.

**_You drooled on my shirt again. There’ll be payback ;)_ **

* * *

It was an impossible task. The Blue Men were in the dark while the police were in the open. They could be tracking the police’s every move from the shadows, thus foiling their search efforts easily. Although the image of the suspect had been sent out to all the active officers in Tokyo, he was nowhere to be found even after five days. It was easy to lose hope in the face of such hopeless circumstances but Honoka was not having it, not when the safety of her loved ones could be at stake.

“Eli.” Honoka approached Eli’s desk. “Please use me as bait.”

Eli knew where this conversation was heading without Honoka saying more. Even so, she didn’t like it. “Honoka, I’ve said it before. It’s too risky.”

“Please, Eli. I know you are worried about me but there is no other way. You know it.”

Eli was not one to put her subordinates’ lives at risk but her sergeant was right. They didn’t have a choice. She sighed, hoping she would not regret what she was about to say next.

“Alright.” Before a smile could fully form on Honoka’s face, Eli continued sternly, “But you have to be very careful and keep us updated at all times. If the situation gets dangerous, you get out.” Reaching down, she opened her desk’s drawer and retrieved a plain-looking black sports watch. “Wear this. It’s a tracking device and it also allows you to send signals to us. Press the top right button to alert us that you are in danger and need backup immediately. This is more convenient than tracking your phone’s signal like what we have always done.”

Honoka nodded, strapping the watch around her left wrist. “Thank you, Eli.”

“Don’t die. I don’t want to have to deal with Umi and Kira-san if anything happens to you,” Eli said wryly, finally showing a hint of amusement.

“Yes, Ma’am!” The ginger gave a sharp salute. “I’ll be going now then. Oh, and please don’t tell Tsubasa. I don’t want her to worry.”

Honoka believed it was not just the police getting frustrated but the Blue Men too. With officers raiding the common drug dealing spots every day and the marine police keeping a tight eye on the harbors, the Blue Men were unable to carry out any major deals. They were losing lucrative money opportunities and it was only a matter of time before they had enough of lying low and did something to get the police off their backs. It wouldn’t take long, Honoka was sure.

She prowled the streets of Roppongi, keen blue eyes scanning the faces in the crowd. She was used to operating on her own, often tailing suspects to obscure hideouts before alerting her team. Her usual brash attitude might not show it but fear sat quietly in her. It had always been there but for the sake of upholding justice, she suppressed it, not willing to let it hinder her. Tonight, her heart thumped exceptionally hard as if it wanted out of her chest. Her senses were on high alert. Every sound was piercing her ears and every face was screaming at her to study them. The Blue Men could be right next to her and she wouldn’t know. It was scary yet exhilarating.

Honoka stopped outside Club Vertigo where she had previously seen the target. Rhythmic bass beats assaulted her aural senses as soon as she entered. Flickering laser lights in neon green and blue hurt her eyes momentarily. The dance floor was packed with bodies bobbing to the head-spinning house music. She spied the DJ station at the far end of the room and smirked. There was one sure-fire way to let the Blue Men know she was here - and alone. Shoving her way through the sea of people - and ignoring the wild hand that groped her ass - she jumped onto the elevated platform.

“Hey what are yo-”

“Sorry,” Honoka apologized to the DJ before she pushed him aside and cut the music.

Silence. And then murmurs of confusion.

“On the lights! Police!” Her powerful voice soared over the floor and it didn’t take two seconds for the groans to start pouring in. “ID check! Men to the left, women to the right! Hurry if you don’t want to waste your time!”

“Hey! What’s the big idea?” A bald man in a black suit marched up to Honoka. She recognized him as the one in charge of the club. “Didn’t you guys just come two days ago? Are you trying to ruin our business?”

Honoka wiped a spot of saliva that hit her cheek during the man’s angry rant. For a second she was reminded of Tsubasa being covered in her drool.

“I’m looking for this man.” She brandished the image of the target.

“I know. Your colleagues said the same thing the other day,” the man snapped, clearly exasperated. “And no, I haven’t seen him. If I did, I would turn him over to you guys immediately so that you’d stop interrupting our business.”

“I will hold you to your words.” Honoka gave him the hardest stare she could muster. “I’ll be doing the ID check now. It won’t take long.”

And she meant it. After checking just a handful of patrons, she left and pulled the exact same stunt in several other clubs. Barging in and making a grand entrance seemed very Honoka-like and she wanted to laugh when she imagined Umi’s scary face lashing out at her for being so goddamn noisy.

Five hours and ten clubs later, Honoka was spent. She had created a huge enough ruckus to alert basically all the gangs in the area of her solitary presence. The Blue Men would surely catch wind of her actions if they hadn’t already. Leaning against the metal shutter of a shop, she sent a message to her team.

**_I’m stopping here today. Will continue at Shinjuku tomorrow._ **

She stared at the sent message and pondered for a bit before typing something else.

_**v(^_^)v Fighto!** _

There. Typical of the group’s liveliest member. That should make them worry less about her. She wondered when guilt had become a permanent resident in her thoughts. It was so unlike her carefree nature. Yawning, she made her way to her motorcycle, hoping she wouldn’t fall asleep before she reached Tsubasa’s apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for keeping with the story till now! The setup is almost done so you can be sure the real fun will start in the next chapter ;) Oh, and the rating will go up due to a certain couple's *cough* sexy time.


	3. When Her Lips Were Still Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsubasa and Honoka take their relationship to the next level but the course of true love never did run smooth, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cookies to readers who can figure out what inspired this chapter's title! Anyway, hope you enjoy this update!

Honoka thanked her lucky stars she didn’t crash her bike and become pathetic roadkill. She had dozed off once but fortunately, it was at a red light. Opening the door to Tsubasa’s apartment, she removed her shoes and tiptoed as stealthily as possible towards the bedroom but not before stubbing her toe against the sofa. She let out a yelp and hopped around. As luck would have it, she banged right into the low coffee table and fell to the hardwood floor in a messy heap. Crying out in pain and massaging her smarting toe, she didn’t notice the front door opening. The living room lights came on, blinding her.

“Hi there, burglar.”

“Burglar? Where?” Honoka blinked her eyes rapidly, trying to adjust to the sudden brightness. A chuckle sounded from the entrance.

“I’m talking about you.”

Honoka’s head whipped towards the door and there stood Tsubasa casually leaning against the door frame and enjoying the stupefied face of her girlfriend.

“Me?”

Tsubasa’s shoulders drooped. Sometimes said girlfriend didn’t get sarcasm. Oh well, might as well play along. “Because you stole my heart.”

One could almost hear the crickets chirping outside.

“Oh my gosh, that was so cheesy!” Honoka sputtered in laughter, forgetting the pain in her toe.

“You forced me to be.” Tsubasa closed the door and walked towards where Honoka was. “I take it that you’ve made friends with my coffee table.” She jerked her thumb towards the furniture that had been unceremoniously knocked from its original position.

“Hehe...” Honoka scratched her face sheepishly. Then remembering something, she asked, “You are late today. New case?”

The way Tsubasa’s gaze flitted to the side did not go unnoticed. “Yup.”

“Really?”

Tsubasa sighed. “Yes and no. Yes, we are working on cracking an underage prostitution ring but we ended work a few hours ago. We have enough evidence to bust them tomorrow. As for the ‘no’ reason, it’s a secret.” She put a finger to her lips and winked for good measure, making Honoka puffed her cheeks indignantly.

“Tsubasa is not being fair again!”

Tsubasa removed her slim-cut navy blazer, chucked it towards the sofa and pushed up her white shirt sleeves, revealing toned forearms. “Then, please allow me to make up for my impudence.” One hand slipping around Honoka’s back and another behind her knees, she picked up the startled ginger in one swift motion and headed for the bedroom.

“P-Put me down! You’ll hurt your back!”

“You’ve gotten lighter.”

“Umi-chan always says I eat too much so it’s a good thing, I guess...” Honoka mumbled.

“You’ve been overworking yourself recently. Don’t think I don’t know that.” Pain gleamed in Tsubasa’s emerald irises. “I like it when you are eating healthily so... a large serving of strawberry pancakes by yours truly for breakfast tomorrow!”

Honoka’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Of course. It’s been a while since you came over so shouldn’t I pamper my dearest?” Tsubasa set Honoka down on the edge of the queen size bed. Placing her arms on both sides of her girlfriend, she leaned down, their noses almost touching. “I must thank your family for going on a vacation and leaving you behind.”

“They didn’t leave me behind. I canceled on them because of Ishida-san’s case.”

“Either way, I’ve got you here with me and that’s all that matters.”

Honoka’s face flushed under Tsubasa’s intense gaze. Not quite knowing how to deal with the attention, she opted for the most logical - and convenient - way out by closing the distance and kissing Tsubasa’s lips. _Mmm… minty and supple._ She could feel Tsubasa smiling into the kiss before the other woman pressed harder, opening her mouth and inviting Honoka to do the same. A warm tongue slipped in, cautiously clashing with Honoka’s before it slowly explored her mouth, the motion so fluid and tender and radiating unspoken love. Honoka felt around for Tsubasa’s hands and grasped them tightly as the brunette deepened the kiss, causing Honoka to moan. She swore her face was on fire, not believing she was capable of making such a lascivious sound.

Tsubasa nibbled and tugged on Honoka’s lower lip delicately as she eased the kiss. Honoka’s moan nearly drove her over the edge and she felt the growing need for a cold shower. Giving one last peck on Honoka’s lips before withdrawing completely, she admired her lover’s reddened face and slightly swollen, parted lips.

“We should wash up and sleep. It’s late,” Tsubasa forced herself to say as much as she desired to continue what they started. They had never gone further even after being together for three years. Honoka always panicked out of shyness and backed out at the last minute so Tsubasa had learned to wait and let nature take its course. Ruffling Honoka’s hair affectionately, she straightened herself and had just turned towards the wardrobe when a hand grabbed her wrist.

“Don’t go.” The words left Honoka’s mouth before she could register them. She blinked, trying to make sense of her hand gripping Tsubasa’s. An inexplicable fear had seized her when Tsubasa’s back turned towards her - the image of Tsubasa leaving her and never coming back flashed across her mind. It terrified her.

“Don’t go,” she repeated, this time more strongly.

Tsubasa’s forehead creased. Honoka was acting out-of-character tonight.

“Then do you want to join me in the shower?” she teased, hoping to crack a smile on Honoka’s abruptly sullen face. But the response she received caught her off guard - Honoka nodded.

“Are you sure?” Tsubasa’s frown deepened. Instead of giving her a reply, Honoka stood up and started undoing Tsubasa’s shirt buttons, nimble fingers working their way down effortlessly. “Honoka?” Tsubasa croaked, voice tight. A slight draft swept her exposed abdomen.

Honoka pulled the shirt off Tsubasa’s taut shoulders, letting it fall with a soft flutter. Her fingers traced a protruding pinkish scar along Tsubasa’s left deltoid. The inspector had sustained a deep knife slash last year when breaking up a brawl between two rival gangs. It was a non-life threatening injury but Honoka remembered fussing over her. Ironically, she drooled on the bandaged wound when she dozed off on Tsubasa at the hospital and earned herself a severe scolding by the nurse who had to change the bandage.

“Tsubasa.”

“Hmm?”

“You won’t leave me, right?”

Tsubasa’s gaze softened. “Is that what you are worried about?” She placed her hand over Honoka’s which was still on her scarred shoulder. “Of course not. I will be with you forever and ever. Cross my heart.”

“I...” Honoka hated how wishy-washy she was tonight. It was all the fault of the mental image earlier; she couldn’t erase it. She swallowed thickly, subconsciously adding pressure on Tsubasa’s old wound, not noticing the slight wince on the other’s comely face. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” It would be a lie to say she was not worried but Tsubasa opted not to give Honoka additional stress. She carefully nudged Honoka back till she plopped down on the bed again. With her cherubic cheeks basking in the cool silver moonlight, Honoka appeared almost angelic. Tsubasa planted a slow, loving kiss on those rosy lips. Their lips moved in unison and soon, Honoka found herself lying on her back with Tsubasa straddling her hips. Her spine tingled when one of Tsubasa’s hands slipped under her T-shirt and stroked the curve of her waist. As if sensing her anxiety, Tsubasa started drawing languid circles on Honoka’s skin to soothe her.

“Relax,” Tsubasa breathed, running her other hand through ginger bangs and pushing them out of Honoka’s pretty face. She tugged the yellow ribbon holding Honoka’s side ponytail and watched as fiery locks spilled onto the canyon brown sheets. With Honoka’s help, she pulled Honoka’s top over her head.

“May I?” asked Tsubasa as her fingers rested on Honoka’s bra clasp. Honoka was chewing her lip in nervousness and Tsubasa knew it wasn’t easy for her. But true to Honoka’s trusting nature, she managed a shy nod despite embarrassment washing over her. When the sweet coral garment came off, Honoka instinctively crossed her arms over her naked bosom.

“There’s nothing to hide.” Sincerity shone in Tsubasa’s brilliant green eyes and she flashed a comforting smile at the woman beneath her. The protective arms haltingly moved aside, bestowing upon Tsubasa the purest form of beauty she had ever laid her eyes on. She nearly forgot to breathe.

“D-Don’t stare...” Honoka blurted, face searing beet red with self-consciousness.

It was impossible not to marvel at the view before her. Since day one, Tsubasa had found the younger woman extremely attractive even if others didn’t believe so; there was just something about her girl-next-door persona and unassuming nature. She didn’t think Honoka could ever be more mesmeric but this moment proved her wrong. So wrong. Honoka had curves in all the right places. Compared to Tsubasa’s lean and hard body, Honoka’s was softer and a lot more feminine. Tsubasa didn’t give a damn about people who told her girl to watch her weight; she adored her just the way she was.

“No fair! You are still wearing yours!” Honoka pointed out in a desperate attempt to break Tsubasa’s prying stare.

Tsubasa looked down at her own clothed chest. “So it seems. Would you like to help?”

“How do you say that with a straight face?” Honoka whined, none too pleased she was the only one getting flustered. Nevertheless, she complied with Tsubasa’s request and fumbled with the hook. A melodious giggle - which would normally be music to Honoka’s ears - almost made her rip the cursed garment off. “S-Stop laughing! I’m trying my best. How did you get mine off so easily?”

“Because I’m skilled in everything I do?” Tsubasa’s devious grin only broadened, prompting Honoka to slap her arm.

Honoka let out a frustrated groan after her unsuccessful attempt. “Is this thing anti-rape?”

“Maybe.” There was a cheeky lilt in Tsubasa’s voice but seeing how annoyed Honoka was getting, Tsubasa did her a favor and unhooked her Prussian blue bra before tossing it aside. Honoka’s jaw slackened. Now she understood why Tsubasa kept staring at her own body just now. Tsubasa’s breasts might be small but they were perky - and tantalizingly so. Her eyes trailed down the faint lines defining Tsubasa’s firm abs. All those workouts that Tsubasa did religiously to hone her reflexes and stamina had paid off in the form of a finely sculpted figure.

“You are drooling.” Tsubasa’s smirk returned. She laid a hand on Honoka’s smooth stomach and casually slid it down to the copper button on her jeans; the way Honoka squirmed and rubbed her thighs together did not go unnoticed. After the jeans had been reduced to a crumpled pile on the floor, Tsubasa took a long second to admire Honoka’s rounded hips before dipping her fingers under the silky waistband of Honoka’s underwear. The intrusive touch sent electrifying tremors coursing through Honoka’s nerves.

“W-Wait!” she rasped.

“Do you want to stop?” Tsubasa asked, disappointment sinking in even though she had half-expected it. Her lover fidgeted beneath her and Tsubasa still found it in herself to think it was cute.

“I…” Honoka looked at anywhere but the all attentive inspector. Finally she squeezed her eyes shut and cried out, “I’m wet!”

Tsubasa stared. And stared. She wanted to say something but words failed her so she burst out laughing instead. Here she was almost moping over being rejected again and there her unpredictable girlfriend was worried about being… well-lubricated.

“Silly, that’s a good sign. It’s proof that you are a healthy, young woman,” Tsubasa assured, her pearly whites shining under the moonlight.

“I-I know that! But… it’s embarrassing!” Honoka slapped her hands over her flaming face only to have Tsubasa yank them down a moment later.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m wet too.”

“Really?” Blue eyes searched green.

“Hey, I’m also a healthy adult,” Tsubasa said, still grinning. “You can be the judge later. Now, can we continue?”

A nod was all Tsubasa needed and before long they were both bare as newborns. Tsubasa enveloped Honoka in a hug, pressing their bodies flushed against each other. There was no need to rush, she told herself. She reveled in the feel of Honoka’s increasingly hot skin against hers. Then she brushed her lips against Honoka’s forehead, lingering as she breathed in Honoka’s unique scent. Honoka wanted to cry from how sweet Tsubasa was - and had always been - never failing to treat her as though she was the most precious being on earth. What did she ever do to deserve such an incredible person? She returned the embrace, burying her face in Tsubasa’s soft chestnut waves.

“I love you and I won’t leave you. Not now, not ever.” The arms around Honoka tightened a little.

“No matter what?”

“No matter what.”

With the promise made, they shared a long kiss, connecting their hearts as one...

* * *

The atmosphere in the minimalist office was one of calm and quiet efficiency. The lack of wobbly stacks of criminal records and random knick-knacks was a stark contrast to Unit 47’s messy office. The design of the room was stripped down to a perfect balance of white, grey and black. Having less visible documents did not mean Tsubasa’s team had less work; they simply worked more in their minds. All three members boasted an above average IQ, allowing them to process information at a rate that was faster than most of their colleagues in the force. They had an unofficial unit name called A-RISE. Rumors had it that it was a combination of the terms ‘A-listers’ and ‘rising stars’ after the trio graduated from the academy with impressive results and wasted no time in demonstrating their capabilities in the force.

In one corner of the white-walled room, Tsubasa stared hard at the men and women in the picture on her computer, ingraining their appearances into her head.

“Do you want to become cross-eyed so much?” Erena quipped, polishing her pistol leisurely at her desk.

“Shut it, Erena. I don’t need this so early in the morning.”

The woman with a beauty mark under her left eye spun the unloaded gun around her index finger. “Someone’s grouchy today. Didn’t get enough sleep ’cause you were doing the naughty with your little carrot top last night?”

Tsubasa took a sip of her black coffee to, hopefully, swallow her rising irritation as well.

Erena dropped her gun - thank god it was not loaded. “No denial? That means you two really did it? I wasn’t even serious when I asked that!” She picked up her weapon and sat down again, crossing her legs without missing a beat. “Took you long enough!”

The current topic piqued Anju’s interest and she stopped fixing her copper hair in the desk mirror. The feminine lieutenant had always been interested in their beloved Tsu-chan’s love matters. Unlike the others, she and Erena were nary intimidated by the gifted inspector and they made it a habit to kid around her. Just because.

“I always thought Honoka-san was so innocent that you didn’t dare to...” Anju tapped her chin as she tried to come up with an appropriate word, “defile her?”

Tsubasa groaned under her breath. “You make it sound so wrong.”

“So does that mean marriage is on the cards?”

Tsubasa hummed, not giving a definite answer but the discreet smile on her face gave her away. Erena slapped her hard on the back. “Our Tsu-chan’s all grown up!”

“Anju, you better get her to shut her trap before I accidentally make our team strength drop to two.” Tsubasa stood up, straightening her crisp white button shirt before tucking her trusty gun into her hip holster. “Anyway, have you two remembered their features? We are heading out now.”

“Of course,” Anju replied. “We aren’t the elite operations team for nothing, right Erena?”

“You don’t need to say that twice.”

* * *

Nico and Maki exchanged perplexed glances as they checked their weapons in Unit 47’s office. The team was getting ready to head out for another night of trailing Honoka as she attempted to bait the Blue Men out of hiding. What distracted the duo was Honoka’s 180-degree change in mood from the past few days. Since she reported for work - earlier than usual, no less - they noticed she had a chipper bounce in her steps and was constantly humming a happy tune which was what she was doing now even as she geared up for the night’s operation.

“What do you think is up with her?” Nico asked Maki, voice a stealthy whisper. The redhead shrugged.

“You can ask her if you want to know. I’m not interested.”

“Not interested?” Nico did an incredulous roll of her eyes. “You’ve been staring at her for as long as I have,” she hissed. Gosh, sometimes the younger officer could be infuriatingly dishonest with her feelings. Just as Maki was about to retort, Nico shushed her and pointed at Honoka before pointing the same finger at her own collarbone. Maki’s sight roved over Honoka’s clavicle that was currently exposed as the ginger fixed her earpiece and her eyes widened at the dark red mark that stood out like a sore thumb against Honoka’s fair skin.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Nico asked. Maki nodded, seriousness burning in her gaze. “Looks like she got some loving from our star inspector last night,” Nico continued.

“Who got some what?” Umi’s voice sounded from behind, making the pair jump.

“N-Nothing!” Nico’s voice went up an octave as she waved her hands hastily; the straight-laced bluenette would flip if she discovered her good friend had very likely lost her virginity. Umi frowned at Nico’s fishy reaction. Something was definitely up.

“Ah, Umi-chan!” Honoka spun around excitedly upon hearing Umi’s voice, still adjusting her earpiece. “I’m almost ready to go!” Nico smacked her own forehead. The hickey was in plain view for all to see.

“Honoka.” The temperature in the room dropped a few degrees. “What’s that?”

“Huh?” Honoka cocked her head. “What’s what?”

Umi marched up to the unsuspecting woman and jabbed her finger at the obscene mark. “What. Is. This,” she repeated, spitting out each word slowly and distinctly. Honoka looked down and instantly, vivid memories of a certain brunette sucking the spot lovingly flooded her mind, giving rise to a pink hue on her cheeks. Rubbing the back of her neck, all she could offer was an awkward chuckle.

“Ho-no-ka!” Umi clamped her hands down on Honoka’s shoulders, shaking her violently. “It’s Kira-san, isn’t it? Please tell me you didn’t let her… let her do it to you!”

“S-Stop shaking me, Umi-chan! It hurts!” Honoka tried to pry Umi’s strong hands off but to no avail. “Yes! I did it with Tsubasa last night!” She confessed, almost shouting, hoping it would get Umi to stop shaking her. She was starting to feel sick; gorging on two large sandwiches during tea break was a bad idea. “But don’t say it like Tsubasa did something bad to me. It was mutual and she didn’t pressure me into it. I swear!”

“But still,” Umi stopped rocking her friend but doubled her grip, “she needs to take responsibility for her actions! I’m going to talk to her this instant!”

Now it was Honoka’s turn to grapple Umi, using all of her body weight to prevent Umi from leaving. “Tsubasa is busy with work now! And I told you we both agreed on it. Then why don’t you say I should be the one taking responsibility? I also took something from her, didn’t I?”

That got Umi to stop and think. “But… she’s older and if I remember correctly, she had multiple girlfriends before you while for you, she’s your first. Whatever it is, I’m going to make sure she marries you.”

Maki who had been observing the exchange with growing impatience, let out an exasperated sigh. “I can’t watch this anymore. Umi, stop. You are going overboard. Firstly, they are both women. How are they going to get married?”

“There’s Canada.”

Maki ignored the snappy reply and continued, “Secondly, it’s not like Tsubasa-san two-timed Honoka. As airheaded as Honoka may be, I believe she actually hit the jackpot with Tsubasa-san. They’ve been together for so long. You are overreacting based on your own outdated mindset. Get over it, Umi. You sound ridiculous.”

There was a pause as everyone stared at Maki.

“This is the first time I’ve heard you say so much to someone aside from Nico!” Honoka exclaimed, eyes sparkling with interest.

Uneasiness crawled all over Maki’s skin from the sudden attention and she crossed her arms, turning away. “W-What? I’m just stating the truth. Stop gawking at me!”

“Hehe… thank you, Maki-chan.”

Umi was silent as she contemplated Maki’s words. The 24-year-old was right; she was selfishly imposing her own beliefs on Honoka and doubting Tsubasa who had been nothing but kind towards Honoka and her friends. “Sorry, Honoka,” she said, head hanging in shame but Honoka, being the ever-forgiving person, brushed off the apology with a hug.

“It’s okay. I know Umi-chan cares about me.” The smile on Honoka’s face was so cheery that Umi couldn’t help but break into a smile of her own.

“Let’s get going before Eli wonders where we are. She’s waiting in Shinjuku already.”

* * *

Honoka found herself in a much better mental condition tonight as she barged into pubs after nightclubs after love hotels. Her mind was clearer and her heart lighter. Could this be the after-sex glow Nozomi was talking about during one of their drinking sessions? (The impromptu sex ed class had made everybody, especially Eli, extremely uncomfortable.) The intimacy she shared with Tsubasa between the sheets brought them even closer than before. Granted, it took a while to get over the initial embarrassment. Honoka had no issues with naked bodies in hot springs or public baths but sex was an entirely different matter. Having amorous attention showered on her most private areas was something she still needed to get used to but she must have racked up good karma points in her past life because she couldn’t imagine a person better than Tsubasa to show her how it’s done. She blushed, recalling the way Tsubasa caressed her skin and how her gorgeous jade eyes reflected nothing but tender adoration.

A slight soreness pricked between her thighs, calling to mind the panic that overtook Tsubasa when she cried out in pain. Tsubasa had ceased her ministrations immediately and fussed over Honoka, kissing away the tears at the corners of her eyes. Who would’ve guessed it was only Tsubasa’s second time; practically the whole station assumed the popular brunette had heaps of experience in bed based on the number of partners she had prior to Honoka. But Tsubasa had sworn to the heavens they were all casual dates set up by Anju and Erena because they were worried she would die a lonely, wrinkly prune due to her pickiness. Honoka giggled to herself. It was their little secret.

She checked her watch and was taken aback by how late it was. Time really flies when one is in good spirits, huh. After typing a quick message to let her team know she was done, she hopped onto her bike and began her journey towards Tsubasa’s apartment but not before making a detour to a 24-hour takoyaki store in Shin-Okubo. _Tsubasa must be hungry after closing her big case._ Unknown to most, the crispy and fragrant Osaka snack was Tsubasa’s comfort food.

“That’ll be 640 yen,” said the bored-looking store assistant.

Honoka placed her payment on the little plastic tray on the counter and thanked the young man. The mouth-watering aroma of freshly grilled octopus balls wafted up her nostrils and the gluttonous side of Honoka nearly convinced her to help herself to one - or two - but she managed to shake off the thought. It was a surprise for Tsubasa. _And maybe she’d share them with me. No, not maybe. Tsubasa will surely do that. She always does!_

As Honoka mounted her bike, the unmistakable screech of rubber on tarmac caught her attention before a flash of short blonde hair zipped past her peripheral vision. Her heart leapt as she took a proper glance. Greasy slicked back hair. Harsh undercut. Stocky build. She couldn’t be wrong. It was the Blue Man they were searching for! Swiftly hanging Tsubasa’s midnight snack on her bike’s handle, she restarted her engine and tore down the street after her target who was also on a sportbike. As if noticing her, he picked up speed. Honoka clenched her teeth and followed suit. She tried getting her gun out but it was an impossible task when she was going 120 km/h while weaving in and out of sparse traffic and making sharp bends. She would have to try nudging him. It was an insane move as one slip could mean the end for her but she had to give it a shot. They couldn’t let the Blue Men get away again.

The streets blurred and all she focused on was the smudged red tail light ahead. She was gaining on him. Uttering a quick prayer in her heart, she braced for impact.

But it wasn’t the impact she expected.

A black van hurtled towards her from the left just as she crossed an intersection and she was forced to swerve out of its way. The abrupt change in direction threw her off balance and she flung herself off her bike, curling into a tight ball as she slammed hard onto stony pavement. Something snapped loudly in her shoulder. In the near distance, her beloved Kawasaki skidded, sparks flying as it spun out of control before finally crashing into a lamp post and exploding in a great ball of fire.

“Shit…” Her world was spinning. Everything seemed to have doubled and the confusing images overlapped each other. She wanted to puke. She ripped off her cracked helmet and tossed it aside as she clutched her throbbing head. Suddenly, the glare of white lights bore down on her as the van from earlier sped in her direction. Wobbling, she tripped as she tried to escape its path. It was too late.

_My luck has finally run out, huh?_

She didn’t even have time to bid a mental farewell to her loved ones when an all-too-familiar white Nissan sports sedan rammed into the van’s side, altering its course at the last second.

Honoka shook her head and blinked rapidly to assess the sudden turn of events. _That car… it can’t be…_

As if confirming her suspicions, a slight figure staggered out of the driver’s side, falling over a few times before she was steady enough to hobble towards Honoka.

“Honoka!”

She couldn’t believe her eyes. “Ts-Tsubasa… why… how…?”

As the inspector got closer, Honoka made out the crimson liquid flowing down her face, some of it trickling into her left eye. “Can you stand?” Not waiting for Honoka’s answer, Tsubasa yanked her up by her good arm. The wrecked side door of the black van rattled loudly as someone tried to slide it open. Tsubasa glimpsed back to see it struck down from the inside and three men bounded out. Whipping out her gun as if it was second nature, Tsubasa opened fire and killed the first two but missed the last one when blood dripped into her right eye, obscuring her vision.

“Fuck.” The last thing she saw was the thug aiming his gun at her.

**BANG!**

A deafening shot rang out beside her. She wiped carelessly at her eyes and regained her sight, albeit a red-tainted one. The third man was lying in a pool of his own blood.

Honoka exhaled. Her heartbeat pounded loudly in her ears. That was close. Too close. She lowered her gun and lunged towards Tsubasa, hugging her tightly with her right arm while her left dangled limply. Tsubasa could have died and the thought scared her more than her own death. Something warm dripped onto her nape, reminding her of Tsubasa’s bleeding head. She fumbled with her jacket, wanting to use it to press against the wound but a firm hand stopped her.

“More of them may come. We’ve got to get out of here.”

“But your head…”

“It’s just a cut. I won’t die from it.”

Seeing how insistent Tsubasa was, Honoka could only believe her. “But if we leave, all our efforts in baiting them would be wasted.”

“I’ve called for backup. For now, we hide. We are both injured and if they return, I’m sure it won’t be just one or two pushovers. We’ll be outnumbered.”

Shame hit Honoka like a ton of bricks the moment ‘backup’ left Tsubasa’s mouth. In her haste, she had completely forgotten about alerting her team. How mindless could she be? On the contrary, Tsubasa was always a step ahead - just like how she had intercepted the ambush and saved Honoka’s life.

_How indeed?_

Tsubasa did a brief scan of their surroundings as she took Honoka’s hand. She knew her own condition. She had lied. That hit on her head when her car slammed into the van was no small bump. It was certainly more than ‘just a cut’. She was taking a lot more effort to think. If she relaxed even a wee bit, she would surely black out and she couldn’t allow that, not when Honoka was in danger. She led Honoka towards the nearest alley, lips pressed tight with worry when Honoka faltered every few steps.

Sadly, lady luck wasn’t on their side. They had barely passed two shops when the piercing squeak of tyres sounded from a couple of streets away - but it wasn’t accompanied by police sirens. The sound was getting closer and Tsubasa knew they didn’t have time. She chuckled dryly. _Looks like heaven is testing me._

“Honoka.”

She nearly cried when tired but still beautiful cerulean eyes gazed at her.

“Remember I love you.”

Something in Honoka’s heart squeezed. “Tsubasa, what are you sa-” She didn’t get to finish her question for Tsubasa had struck the back of her head, making her world turned dark in seconds. The last thing she sensed was familiar arms catching her body as she fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading this story! I had lots of fun writing this because I'm such a sap for TsubaHono and the plot finally gets moving. See you next time!


	4. Angels Fall First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, heaven gets jealous of the talented ones.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! So sorry for the long wait. I had been busy prepping for the JLPT exam and also got sidetracked by Pocky Day (those of you who follow my fics would know what I'm referring to). Anyway, I'm back and I hope you guys are still with me on this ride!

_Tsubasa is gone._

Pain ravaged every nerve in Honoka’s body. Her head felt like it was on the verge of bursting. She couldn’t move a muscle except for her leaden eyelids. Even so, all that surrounded her was darkness when she opened her eyes.

_Tsubasa is gone._

The thought clamored in her head. It echoed like an infuriating devil on her shoulder that wouldn’t go away. Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes while an overwhelming sense of dread crushed her chest. She couldn’t sense Tsubasa’s presence.

_“Remember I love you.”_

Never had she seen so much sadness in Tsubasa’s eyes. She didn’t have time to think then but now, her mind was starting to put the pieces together. Tsubasa had always placed Honoka’s happiness and safety above her own. There was only one reason Tsubasa would leave her in that situation just now: to keep Honoka safe.

_But what about you? Where are you, Tsubasa?_

She wanted so much to thrash her limbs about and knock off whatever the hell was covering her body but she couldn’t move, at least not for now. It smelled like cardboard and cat’s piss.

Footsteps. Not one set but several.

“Damn it, where is she?”

“Nico, check the tracking again!”

“I’m on it but it shows that she’s here!”

The footsteps were near, probably just a few feet away.

“Is this damn thing spoilt? She should be right where we are!”

And they stopped next to her. Honoka recognized those voices anywhere. She forced the air up her windpipe and exerted all her energy to squeeze out a small grunt.

“Wait! Did you guys hear that?” It was Maki’s voice, followed by the sound of rubber soles scuffling against the ground. Whatever was on top of her body was lifted in one swift motion and Umi’s startled face came into view.

“Honoka!” The bluenette dropped to her knees beside her battered friend. Fresh lacerations behind ripped clothing greeted the officers. Gathering the frail Honoka into her arms, Umi hugged her close. “You’re safe! I’m so glad!”

“U-U….” Honoka cursed her parched throat. She tried again. “U-Umi…ch…”

“Shh… It’s okay, we’ve got you.” Umi felt fingers curling weakly over her knuckles.

“Ts-Tsu…ba…sa…”

There was an unsettling pause when Umi averted Honoka’s wide, searching eyes. The silence was deafening. Honoka scanned the faces of her other teammates and found the same grim look.

“Toudou-san and Yuuki-san are searching for her as we speak,” Eli said.

Honoka shook her head, not believing it. As some of her strength returned, she pushed herself to her feet, supported by Umi. The sharp pain in the back of her neck was gradually dwindling to a dull ache. Tsubasa might have been fast but Honoka had a good guess of what she did - striking a pressure point which caused immediate unconsciousness. It was a move Tsubasa used when she needed to disable her opponents. Although impressive, it was highly dangerous because she could easily wipe out the person’s life by simply altering the angle of her hit. That was why she had refused Honoka’s previous pleas to impart the skill to her; she didn’t want Honoka to live with the guilt of accidentally killing someone. While Tsubasa had no qualms about killing criminals if it meant a step closer to achieving her missions’ goals, the same could not be said of Honoka who occasionally suffered from nightmares of the lives she had ended.

Honoka felt her eyes watering again at the mere thought of Tsubasa and the way she protected her, both physically and emotionally. Shrugging Umi’s hands off, she limped towards Eli, grabbing a fistful of her leader’s shirt. “Eli, we need to look for Tsubasa! She’s in danger!”

Eli’s phone vibrated and the blonde accepted the incoming call.

_“Ayase, we tracked Tsubasa’s mobile signal and found her phone a few streets away from where you are… and some traces of blood at the scene. It looks like she got into a clash with whoever she was up against. But there’s no sign of her anywhere. We suspect she’s been taken.”_

Honoka’s knees buckled. She was so close to Eli that she heard everything Erena said. Why would the Blue Men take Tsubasa? What did they want with her? And, the question that had plagued her since Tsubasa saved her, how did Tsubasa know where she was? She wasn’t supposed to know about her operation to bait the Blue Men. Adrenaline pumping through her veins, she clutched Eli’s shirt more tightly than before and brought herself up to the blonde’s height.

“How come Tsubasa knew where to find me just now? Did you tell her? I asked you to keep it a secret from her!” She was near hysterical, desperate for answers.

It was gut-wrenching for Eli to look Honoka in the eyes. They were bloodshot and teary. Bulging and screaming. The eyes of someone on the edge of breaking down. She held Honoka’s wrists.

“Sorry.”

Honoka seemed lost for a moment, her mouth opening and closing soundlessly. “W-Why… I trusted you!”

“Honoka, calm down!” Umi yanked the agitated ginger back when she lashed out at Eli.

“Kira-san overheard my briefing with the rest when she came to look for you after you left for Roppongi last night. Yuuki-san said she trailed you after her own work ended,” explained Eli. “Sorry, Honoka. I was careless.”

Honoka took an unsteady step back. So that was why Tsubasa reached home later than her and was coy about it. Honoka bit her trembling lip. _Tsubasa, you idiot…_

“Honoka you need to get your wounds treated. We’ll work with Kira-san’s teammates to find her.”

“No! I’m going to look for Tsubasa too!” Honoka spun on her heel but a dizzy spell whirled in her head. Her eyes rolled back and her world darkened for a second time that night.

“Honoka!”

* * *

When she came to, the bare white ceiling of the hospital greeted her. Something soft tickled her bare hand.

“Tsubasa!” she gasped, bolting upright. Pain ricocheted off the inside of her skull and she flinched. Someone squeaked from her bedside. Wide amber eyes and a head of taupe hair entered her vision.

“Ko…tori…chan?” Honoka uttered dumbly.

“Honoka-chan!” Kotori’s face broke into a relieved smile as she threw her arms around Honoka. “I’m so glad you are awake!”

“Have they found Tsubasa?” Honoka pulled back from the hug and held Kotori by the shoulders. When Kotori’s gaze dropped, she knew the answer and it felt like a thousand knives stabbing her heart. Steadying her breathing, she asked, “How long have I been out?”

Her sullen friend held up two fingers.

“Two hours huh…”

Kotori shook her head. “It’s been two days, Honoka-chan.”

“What?! No, no… what am I doing here? I’ve got to go look for Tsubasa!” She jumped down the bed, ripping off the tubes inserted into her uninjured right arm in the process, only to have her weakened legs collapse under her.

“Honoka-chan!”

Honoka banged her fist on the floor as she let out a frustrated growl. So useless! Tsubasa could be dead and here she was sleeping her time away.

“Sorry, Kotori-chan. Can you bring me to the station?”

“But the doctor-”

“Please!” Honoka grasped Kotori’s sleeve in a death grip, anxiety lending her strength. “Take it that I’m begging you!”

Never one to be able to turn down her childhood friend’s requests, Kotori caved despite knowing Umi was not going to like it. Possessing a maiden’s heart, she could put herself in Honoka’s shoes. If the person abducted was Umi, she wouldn’t be in the mood to be an obedient patient too.

She sighed. “Let’s go, Honoka-chan.”

* * *

Eli massaged her tense temples and scanned the office with wearied eyes. Nico was slumped over the computer keyboard at her desk. Maki was nursing a cup of instant coffee. The redhead never drank such cheap stuff but when one’s body had scarcely gotten more than a few winks in over 48 hours, even the finicky Maki would resort to coffee dregs to keep awake. As for Umi, the hardworking lieutenant was scrutinizing the live feed from traffic cameras all over Tokyo. The ghastly, dark rings under her usually sharp cognac eyes added years to her age.

Two days. It had been two days. The higher-ups were breathing down on their necks. The Tokyo Metropolitan Police had lost their brightest inspector and they wanted her back ASAP. Eli ran a frustrated hand through her limp blonde hair. If she hadn’t approved Honoka’s request, this wouldn’t have happened. If she had been more careful, Tsubasa wouldn’t have discovered the operation and followed Honoka. But that would mean Honoka would be the one missing or dead now. Eli’s phone vibrated. It was a message from Erena.

**_It was a false lead. We are heading back now._ **

Eli growled, chucking her mobile back onto the desk. They had been taking turns with the remaining two members of A-RISE to follow any possible leads to Tsubasa’s whereabouts but they had just been going on a wild goose chase. It was as if the Blue Men and Tsubasa had vanished into thin air.

The door to the office swung open with a huge slam, jolting everyone.

“Honoka!” Umi was the first to react. “And Kotori! What are you two doing here? Honoka, you should be in the hospital…” Her questioning gaze turned to Kotori who wore a guilty look on her face.

“Sorry, Umi-chan…”

Umi dragged a palm down her face and exhaled heavily. She was in no state to flare up and knowing her girlfriend’s submissive nature, it was unreasonable to expect Kotori to be able to stop Honoka. She took in Honoka’s appearance; the sergeant’s left arm was still in a sling but at least some color had returned to her face. The diagnosis was a dislocated shoulder - thankfully not broken - and a slight concussion.

“How are you feeling, Honoka?” she asked as she walked over to help her friend.

“Better than Tsubasa…”

The team winced. They knew Honoka didn’t mean it in any other way but it still burned to be reminded of their incompetence.

“What’s the situation now?” Honoka asked as Umi made her sit down on a chair.

“We are still searching.” Eli came to a stop beside Honoka. She bit back the apology that was at the tip of her tongue. No more. She had enough of saying sorry. She wanted to deliver good news to her beloved subordinate. Laying a hand on Honoka’s back, she said, “I believe in Kira-san. She’s tough.”

Honoka bit her chapped lip and nodded. She too, wanted to convince herself this was Tsubasa they were worrying about. The Tsubasa who could take down an army of hooligans single-handedly. The Tsubasa who could crack even the hardest cold cases. The Tsubasa who had graduated from the academy with the highest scores in recent history.

 _Her_ Tsubasa. Her Tsubasa who had promised to never leave her.

Honoka shook her head when she felt her throat constricting. No, now was not the time to cry. She had to be strong because that was what Tsubasa would want her do.

_Knock! Knock!_

The team recognized the visitor as the station’s receptionist. She carried a plain brown box in her arm.

“There’s a parcel for Unit 47,” she informed, passing the package to Maki who dismissed her with a curt nod.

Eli took the box from Maki and turned it over. There was no return address and the words on the front of the parcel were formed by individual letters cut out from magazine and newspaper pages. A frown settled onto her haggard features. She shook the box. From the sounds, there were two objects in it.

“Eli.” Umi handed her a pair of latex gloves and a cutter.

Biting her inner cheek, Eli made a careful cut along the strip of masking tape and opened the flaps.

_A DVD? And the paper sleeve is tainted with what look like dried bloodstains._

Taking a closer look, Eli realized there were similar dark stains on the inside of the box. She clenched her jaw, remembering there should be a second object. Lifting the DVD, she nearly dropped it when she noticed what was underneath.

A bluish grey finger. The part where it was severed from the hand had smooth edges, indicating it had been a swift and clean cut.

“Holy fuck!” Nico stepped back, bumping Maki in the chin.

“Let me see it!” Honoka snatched the pinky from Eli. Her breathing hitched when she noticed a tiny diagonal scar below the top joint. “N-No…” she choked. Tsubasa had a similar scar at the very same spot. She knew because she had a habit of playing with Tsubasa’s fingers whenever they watched TV together.

No words needed to be exchanged; Honoka’s reaction confirmed everyone’s suspicions.

“There’s still a DVD. Let’s see what’s inside before we jump to conclusions,” reminded Eli as she popped the disc into the player. She took in a deep breath, steeling herself.

The monitor came alive with a visual of a blindfolded and gagged Tsubasa slumped in a chair with her hands tied behind her.

“Tsubasa!” Honoka rushed forward, a shaky hand reaching out for the screen. How she yearned to embrace that figure she missed so dearly. Tsubasa’s shirt - always perfectly pressed without a single crease - was scuffed and riddled with countless dirt and blood patches. Raw bruises and cuts marred the handsome face which never failed to make Honoka’s heart aflutter, the fair skin ruptured with painful red blooms. Dried blood and sweat matted Tsubasa’s short bangs to her forehead.

“Shit. No way.”

Erena and Anju had just returned to the station from their fruitless search. All fatigue escaped their bodies when they spotted their leader on the screen. Not wasting another second, they joined the group gathered around the computer.

A hooded figure wearing a black robe that touched the ground entered the frame. His face was concealed by a blue mask.

 _“Greetings. I believe you recognize your comrade.”_ The pitch of the voice that spoke had been severely altered, sounding like a robot. The figure grabbed a chunk of Tsubasa’s hair and yanked her head back roughly, causing her to grunt in pain. A sickening chuckle escaped his throat. _“She wasn’t our original target but since we couldn’t find the orange-haired one, we took her instead. We know she is one of you, your best even. Put up a good fight.”_ As if bearing some sort of grudge, he threw a hard right hook to Tsubasa’s jaw.

“No!” Honoka screamed. Her heart stopped when Tsubasa’s head lolled back like a broken rag doll’s.

_“Let’s make a deal. You have been making it hard for us to run our businesses recently. If you stop your investigation, we’ll keep her alive. But if you don’t, we will torture her. Slowly. Until she dies. How does it sound?”_

The figure walked off screen for a while before returning with a wooden crate that was almost as tall as Tsubasa’s knees. He set it down in front of her. Another hooded figure untied Tsubasa’s left hand. Thick layers of rope still wound around her torso, binding her to the chair.

_“To show our sincerity, we will present you with a gift. If you break the deal, we will send you more.”_

His accomplice handed him a gleaming machete that seemed capable of slicing through the toughest hide. He gripped Tsubasa’s left wrist and slammed it on the crate. Curling her other four fingers and leaving just the pinky as it was, he raised his machete. And paused.

_“Oh, and just in case you miss your comrade’s lovely voice.”_

The second Blue Man ripped the black duct tape off Tsubasa’s mouth.

 _“What are you doing?”_ Tsubasa demanded, her neck veins bulging under paper-thin skin. But her question went ignored.

The figure swung the machete downwards, chopping off her finger in one fell swoop. There was a stomach-churning thunk when it cut through bone.

Tsubasa screamed. It tore through the room like a great shard of glass, piercing into their consciousness. It rang loud and clear, promising to haunt all present for the rest of their lives. Her body writhed violently against the rope. Blood gushed from the fresh stump that had once been her pinky.

The figure picked up the severed digit and showed it to the camera.

_“Have a good look at your present. Remember the deal.”_

And the screen turned black.

The room was silent. No one spoke. They couldn’t believe what they had just witnessed. Umi had tucked Kotori’s face into her shoulder seconds before the horrifying moment. Honoka stared blankly at the ashen and icy finger still in her hand. It wasn’t a fake. It really belonged to Tsubasa.

“Wait,” Anju broke the silence. As shaken as she was, she wasn’t about to dwell in shock. She was one-third of the famed A-RISE that Tsubasa had proudly led. Through their time together, Tsubasa had taught her and Erena to never neglect the smallest details. She made a few clicks on the mouse and replayed from the point Tsubasa’s finger was hacked off.

“Are you sick? Why are you watching that part again?” Nico protested but a glare from Eli stopped her from saying more.

“Don’t question Anju,” Erena warned sharply. Having worked together for so long, she was certain Anju must have picked up on something. The brunette was not one to get rattled easily despite her dainty appearance.

Another thing Tsubasa had drilled into their heads was to leave clues in the situation that any of them was abducted. Anju believed their Tsu-chan would practise what she preached.

“Observe Tsubasa’s other fingers,” instructed Anju as she replayed the scene for the third time. To an untrained eye, it would seem like Tsubasa’s hand was spazzing from the pain but to the investigators who were well-versed in the Morse code, she was secretly sending a message through the way she clenched and unclenched her remaining fingers.

“A-i-w-a-3.”

Erena dug deep into her memories, very sure she had come across this name before. Her eyes widened when it hit her. “Aiwa Electronics! The company was bought over by Sony in 2002. Tsubasa should be in its old warehouse!”

Anju tapped her chin thoughtfully. “The old warehouse is in Ikenohata district, Taito ward. The ‘3’ in Tsubasa’s message should mean level three.”

The members of Unit 47 swallowed thickly. The rumors about A-RISE having an higher than average IQ were true. They were on a totally different level.

“Kira-san’s mental strength is unbelievable…” Umi uttered, flabbergasted by not just the duo’s knowledge but Tsubasa’s unwavering will to survive too. Anyone else would have been on the brink of losing their sanity, perhaps even lapsing into shock but Tsubasa truly lived up to her name and retained her calm and wits.

“That’s our Tsu-chan!” Anju exclaimed, a smirk curving her lips at the mention of their tenacious chief. “Let’s go and save her!”

Erena made several quick taps on her mobile. “Hello, Kurosawa-san? Toudou Erena here. We need backup from the Special Unit now.”

“Wait!” Umi called. “What if the Blue Men find out we are going to save her? Won’t they kill her?”

Anju and Erena halted their movements.

“This is our only chance of getting Tsubasa back. If we don’t take it, it’s a guarantee she will die,” answered Anju matter-of-factly.

“We’ll take the gamble.” Erena took a few strides before she stopped. “And we trust Tsubasa not to be a weakling.” She continued towards the door, signaling the end of the conversation.

The silently listening Maki raised an eyebrow. She had to admit she was impressed by the trio’s teamwork even when they were separated. They didn’t give a fuck about risks; they embraced them.

“So this is A-RISE…”

* * *

Honoka stared out the window, watching but not paying attention to the scenery whizzing past. She wished the car would go faster. The case’s breakthrough was certainly a silver lining in the cloud ever since Ishida’s death but she wondered how long Tsubasa could hold up. The video could have been taken up to two days ago. Was she even alive now? Honoka’s fingernails dug tiny crescents into her palm. Tsubasa’s soul-shattering cry replayed over and over in her head.

_It must have been frightening, right, Tsubasa?_

Inhaling deeply, she tugged the sling off her left arm.

“Oi, what are you doing?” Maki frowned. She and Nico were in the backseat with Honoka.

Honoka rotated her left shoulder gingerly, working out the kinks; it was still sore but bearable.

“You are not participating in the operation, you promised,” reminded the younger woman. “And put that sling back on if you want it to heal faster.”

“I’m fine,” Honoka insisted and stretched her arm. “See?”

Maki’s scowl deepened. “Your recklessness was what caused Tsubasa-san to be caught.”

“Maki!” Nico slapped a hand over Maki’s mouth but it was too late. The biting words had already slipped out. “You idiot! This is not the way to show your concern!” she admonished in a harsh whisper. “Honoka, you know how Maki is. She’s just worried you’d get hurt again,” she explained hastily in an attempt at damage control.

Honoka laughed bitterly. “It’s okay. It’s my fault. I fell for the Blue Men’s trap.” Her ocean blue eyes were downcast, occasionally reflecting orange when the light from the street lamps shone in. “But,” she looked up with a smile that did not reach her eyes, “this is why I am going to make up for it.”

_Wait for me, Tsubasa._

* * *

Tsubasa had forgotten how her mouth or anything else tasted. All she had been tasting for the past few days was the bitter, metallic flavor of blood. She coughed. Her voice came out like gritty desert sand. Her mouth was cottony, her throat dry. She rolled onto her stomach, propping her chin against the filthy floor. The dish of stale water sat a short distance away. She licked her cracked lips and winced when her tongue swept against an open sore. Wriggling onto her knees, she nudged herself like a worm towards the thing closest to an oasis in the bare room. It had been at least 36 hours since the video recording and her captors had released her from the chair after it. She was then left alone in the dingy room with her hands bound behind her back.

When she finally reached the grimy shallow dish, she took a few thirsty licks at the water. What a joke. She was no different from a dog. She would laugh at her pathetic state now if she possessed the energy. As tempting as it was to gulp down every drop, she restrained herself. This was all they were giving her - the bare minimum to survive. She fell back onto her side after she was done, feeling extremely drained even though she had hardly moved. She hissed when her festering wound grazed the floor and jerked her hands up in reflex. Having been left to bleed out after her finger was cut off, she would be glad if the infection didn’t spread to the rest of her hand.

She wondered if she would get to see Honoka again. A wistful smile worked its way to her bruised face when she thought of her girlfriend, missing her boisterous voice and sunshine smile. Heck, she even missed her drooling face.

_Hey, Honoka, are you angry with me?_

Her eyelids fluttered closed as her strength gradually faded away. It was getting harder to keep awake.

_Erena… Anju… you two had better seen my message. I don’t think I can hold on much longer…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! Not too sure when the next chapter will be up because I'm getting sidetracked again and this time it's Christmas :P I hope to get the Christmas one-shot out on time so please look out for it! (Yes, it's going to be TsubaHono again ^_^;)


	5. End of Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> True love is all about sacrificing oneself, no?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first update in 2017! Happy New Year once again!

“For this operation, we need to be as quick and discreet as possible. The moment the Blue Men detect us, the first thing they will do is kill Kira-san so we will have to be faster than them. The Special Unit will enter the building from the rooftop and work their way down while Umi will provide support from the building across the street with her sniper rifle. Nico, you sneak in and mess with the fuse box. When the whole building blacks out, we will take action. Put on your night vision goggles and standby,” Eli briefed the team as they gathered behind the iron wire fence surrounding the compound. All members were dressed in black, easily blending in with the night.

Maki put down the wire cutter and removed a portion of the fence, revealing a hole big enough for two people to squeeze through at a time. She nodded at Nico. “Don’t die, idiot.”

Nico snorted. “As if the great Nico Ni will die so easily. I’ll be done quicker than you can start missing me.”

There was a unanimous roll of eyes.

“If only your brain was as smart as your mouth,” sneered Maki. “Shut up and get going.”

“Yes, yes, Tsundere-chan.” Nico scanned the area and when she was sure the coast was clear, she crawled through the hole with ease and slipped into the building through the backdoor.

Eli turned to Honoka, expression grim. “I don’t know if I’m making another mistake by letting you come with us but I know you won’t listen to me even if I ask you to stay behind. So show me I didn’t make the wrong decision.”

Gratitude bloomed in Honoka’s chest. “Thanks, Eli. I won’t let you down.”

The pair did a fist bump and nodded at each other. Then Eli glanced up into the night sky and spotted a few dark figures parachuting towards the rooftop. _That’s the Special Unit for you._

Twenty seconds later, the lights in the building went out.

_And just in time too._

“Action!”

* * *

Tsubasa awoke to a cacophony of shouts in the distance. She blinked when she found herself in total darkness. _Hell is darker than I thought._

“Someone go and check the fuse box!”

“Damn this old building!”

Tsubasa frowned. _I’m not dead? Seems like a blackout._ Her gut feeling told her something was off. Turning her head sideways, she pressed her ear against the ground and listened closely. Her body tensed. _Looks like we have company._ She understood her situation well. If it was friendly company, she’d be in grave danger. If it wasn’t, well, who knew what they would do to her? Mustering all the energy she had gained from the little shuteye, she sat up and felt around her back for the water dish. Once her fingertips touched the cool plastic, she spun around and stomped her feet blindly around the spot. A sharp crack sounded. Wheezing from that bit of workout, she turned around and patted the floor for the broken dish.

“Ugh!” She bit back a shout when she accidentally stabbed her right palm on the pointed end of a piece. Ignoring the pain, she began sawing the rope binding her hands fervently. Sweat beaded her forehead, stinging the deep gash under her bangs. Angry yells and footsteps were getting closer.

There was a bang on her door.

_Fuck._

* * *

Honoka stepped over the lifeless body, arms tense as she aimed her gun ahead. She could hear their opponents charging down the corridor; they had caught on to their location. Soon they would round the corner. Her eyes flicked over to Eli who had raised an open palm, instructing the team to stop advancing and take their positions to fire on sight. Lowering herself on one knee, Honoka readied herself.

_One shot, one kill. Can’t miss. Tsubasa is waiting._

A dull ache throbbed in her left shoulder. She bit her inner cheek, willing herself to focus on the shadows that were getting closer. Any second now.

The first Blue Man appeared in sight. Multiple shots rang out and they fell in succession. Before they could assume they had the upper hand, the window on their left shattered, broken shards showering the team as they ducked for cover. There was a strangled cry as Maki fell, clutching her left arm.

“Maki!”

Nico was about to reach for the fallen redhead but a bullet whizzed between them, missing her face by mere inches. She whipped towards the source and fired indiscriminately, rage boiling in her stomach. There was a new wave of Blue Men attacking from behind the earlier pile of bodies and a mysterious sniper from the opposite building. Her gun clicked, running out of bullets. A hand yanked her down to the floor right before a bullet could make quick work of her brain.

“Get down, idiot!” hissed Maki. Her voice was tight and the moonlight streaming in from the broken window revealed a pale face. Nico’s eyes zeroed in on the dampened patch on Maki’s arm. Definitely a gunshot wound.

Eli and Honoka stepped forward, making sure not to stand next to the windows. Anxiety filled Honoka. They were taking too long here. It was hard to bring down their opponents when they had cover. She reached for the stun grenade in her hip holster.

“Guys, flash time.”

Swiftly detaching it, she lobbed it over to the far end of the corridor. The team did a mental countdown and shut their eyes and covered their ears at the exact moment the grenade detonated. Eli and Honoka rushed forward to finish off the disoriented and injured Blue Men.

 _ **“I’ve taken care of the sniper. Turned out he was on the floor above me.”**_ Umi’s voice came through on their earpieces and Honoka exhaled in relief.

“Maki, how are you?” Eli crouched down next to her subordinate, inspecting the torn flesh.

“No exit wound and the embedded bullet is helping to stem the blood flow,” Maki reported calmly, her medical knowledge kicking into gear – as expected from someone who hailed from a family of doctors. “In short, I’ll survive.”

“Think you can continue?”

“Shouldn’t be an issu-”

“No,” Nico interrupted, “it’ll affect your reflexes.”

“It’s absurd to fall back over something as minor as this.”

“You’ll be a hindrance to the team and I don’t want to babysit a sitting duck,” Nico argued, not about to give way.

“I’m not a sitting duck!” Maki snapped, only to flinch in pain from the sudden movement.

“See?”

“Maki,” Eli interjected before the disagreement could escalate, “fall back to our car and look out for us from there. Patch yourself up in the meantime. We may need you back here later.” Although reluctant, Maki gave a grim nod and separated herself from the group, making sure to duck below the windows just in case. The rest of the team reloaded their weapons and continued towards the stairs on the other side of the corridor. One more floor to go.

* * *

It was quiet. Too quiet. Honoka, Nico and Eli glanced nervously at each other as they surveyed the third floor corridor. This should be where Tsubasa was held captive but there was no one else in sight.

“Umi, do you notice any movement on the third floor?” Eli positioned herself in between two windows in case there was another sniper.

**_“Nothing from the Blue Men. Yuuki-san and Toudou-san are on the same floor as you but at the other end of the building. They are checking the rooms.”_ **

“That’s weird. They wouldn’t leave Kira-san unguarded.” Eli bit her lip in thought.

“Maybe they were afraid and ran off,” scoffed Nico. Next to her, Honoka was growing impatient.

“Whatever. Let’s start checking the rooms.” Not waiting for a response, Honoka ran up to the nearest room and kicked open the door, ready to shoot. But it was empty.

“Honoka! I know you are anxious but we act together, understand?” Eli admonished. She was not going to let another one of her comrades go down. “Something’s amiss. We have to be cautious.”

Honoka fought down the urge to argue. Her biggest fear was to open one of the doors to find Tsubasa’s corpse. Worrying about risks? She wished she could ram down all the doors at once. But Eli had given her the chance to join the operation; she couldn’t take Eli’s trust and trample on it.

“Well, no use thinking too much. We have to act fast. Can’t let A-RISE show us up again.” Nico took the lead and stood by the next door as Honoka and Eli joined her. Disquiet still plagued Eli’s mind but Nico had a point and she was reminded of Erena’s words back in the station. If they didn’t take the chance, Tsubasa’s survival rate would be an absolute zero.

“All right. Let’s do it.”

The trio checked the rooms in quick succession without effect. Soon, they reached the last room at almost the same time as Erena and Anju. As Honoka reached for the door handle, Anju stopped her.

“Shh.” She put her ear against the door. Immediately, her eyes widened. The others had heard it as well.

_Beep. Beep. Beep…_

“Run!” Erena yelled as she hauled Honoka and Anju away from the door.

It was like a thunder clap. An enormous explosion rocked the building as a fiery ball of orange belched outward. The shock wave flung the women like weightless dolls. Wood and glass cut through the air as good as any blade. Erena was slammed onto the ground with Honoka and Anju under each of her arms in a protective hold.

“You two okay?”

“Y-Yeah.” Anju twitched, clutching her head as an incessant ringing assaulted her ears. On the other side, Honoka groaned and rolled to a sitting position, instantly choking on the smoke and dust particles flitting in the air. Her heart raced. That was too close. She surveyed the damage and realized her teammates were not with them.

“Eli! Nico!” she screamed, eyes searching frantically through the flames licking the splintered remains of the door.

 ** _“Everyone report your status!”_** Umi’s worried voice cracked through their earpieces. The sniper had witnessed the whole explosion but the billowing smoke made it impossible to pinpoint the exact locations of her teammates.

“Eli! Nico!” Honoka raised her voice again over the crackling of fire.

“We are fine!” Eli could be heard from the other side of the burning wreckage. A few coughs sounded before Nico gave a grunt of confirmation.

 _ **“Blue Men spotted on the sixth floor. A few of them seem to be carrying explosives. Approach with caution.”** _ The new voice belonged to Matsuura Kanan, the Special Unit’s team leader. ** _“They’ve just split up. A group is going down the stairs in the middle. Should be heading for your location.”_**

“What about Tsubasa? Have you seen her?” A nauseating concoction of dread and hope filled Honoka’s gut.

**_“No sign of Kira-san ye-”_ **

**_“I see three people heading for the last room on the left! One of them has a smaller frame than the others. Could be Kira-san!”_** another member of the Special Unit cut in. Honoka’s heart lurched.

**_“Go check it out. We’ll hold off the rest.”_ **

**_“Yousoro!”_ **

“We are going too.” Erena pulled Honoka up, surprising the ginger. “Anju, you stay here with Ayase and Yazawa.”

“Got it. Make sure you bring back Tsu-chan.”

“Of course. Let’s go, Kousaka!”

* * *

The floor shook under her feet as Tsubasa was dragged along by two masked men. They had barged into her room and knocked her out before her weakened self could even attempt an escape. By the time she came to, she was on the move with them but it was too dark to tell where she was. Something constricted her abdomen, making breathing even more laborious. She had a sudden suicidal thought when she realized what it was.

“Why don’t you just detonate the bomb now?” she wheezed with a half-smile, still finding some sort of morbid humor in the situation. Her captors turned and stared at her as if she had grown a second head.

“I must say you are a daring one,” said the one on her right. Tsubasa recognized the voice as the person who had reduced her to nine fingers. “We’ll let your wish come true, just not so soon. After all, it’d be a pity if you blew up on your own.” As he spoke, a series of gunfire and the occasional explosions – albeit not as huge as the first one – rattled the night. Apprehension began to boil in Tsubasa. Judging from his words, the intruders were her own people.

“What are you planning?”

He snorted.

“Are you the leader of the Blue Men?” she pressed.

“A dead person doesn’t need to know.”

“A dead person can keep secrets.”

The man roared in laughter. “Man, you are an interesting one! Too bad you’re gonna die soon.” Then he lowered his voice. “Our boss doesn’t need to dirty her hands.”

Tsubasa's breath hitched. “Who is she?”

The man’s speech returned to his usual obnoxious tone. “Oops. Here we are!” He pushed open a door at the end of the corridor and gave Tsubasa a rough shove onto the hard concrete. A click told Tsubasa he had locked the door. She frowned.

“You planning to die with me when I blow up?”

“As pretty as you are, no.” He walked over to the only window in the room and threw it open. Moonlight spilled in, providing some much needed illumination. “Our lives belong to our boss.” He took in a few deep breaths, enjoying the crisp night air. Abruptly, he turned to face the door. Tsubasa had heard it too – footsteps right outside.

“Looks like your friends are here.” He slipped out a detonator from his jacket and pressed the red button. The timer on Tsubasa’s front torso came alive, beeping ominously.

_Five minutes?_

She glanced up in time to catch his silent partner aim his gun at her right knee and fire two shots. Pain seared through her like a red-hot branding iron. Her mind screamed as she curled up, vulnerable as a fetus. Colorful spots flashed before her eyes. Her mangled flesh pulsated, every squeeze of her heart reducing her breathing to faltering gasps.

“Let’s go!” Those were the last words she heard from the masked men before they leapt out the window, landing on the fire escape outside just as an intense blast blew off the door handle. Three familiar figures rushed in.

“Tsubasa!”

Ginger hair and glistening blue eyes entered Tsubasa’s view. The inspector’s cracked lips broke into a tiny smile amid the pain twisting her insides. _At least I get to see you before I go._ Honoka dropped to her knees with a heavy thud and Tsubasa felt herself being cradled against the woman she loved so dearly.

Erena and Special Unit’s Watanabe You raced towards the window when they heard the tell-tale clanging sounds of people descending the fire escape stairs. But they were far too gone for them to get a good aim.

“Two targets fleeing by the fire escape. Can anyone intercept?” Erena asked.

 ** _“Sorry, we are still held up here.”_** As if on cue, gunshots rang through the earpiece.

 ** _“I’ll go,”_** Maki volunteered.

“We’ve also found Tsubasa but…” Erena swiftly went to Tsubasa, taking in the horrendous state her leader was in – and the bomb ticking away on her stomach. “She has a bomb strapped to her. We have four minutes. You guys stay away.”

“Let me try.” Watanabe You set down the shotgun she had used to bust the door and proceeded to study the confusing tangle of different colored wires. It was unlike anything she had seen during her training. Defusing it would take a lot of time and – she gulped – even luck. Pressing her lips together, she gripped the small pliers between her fingers.

“H-Honoka, Erena, Watanabe-san,” Tsubasa acknowledged weakly. “Their leader seems to be a female. Sorry, that’s all I found out…”

“You can tell us that later.” Erena crouched down beside her teammate, face contorted with worry.

Tsubasa sucked in a shaky breath, the crippling pain making it hard to focus. “You three have to leave. It’s not a simple bomb. The Blue Men plan to blow you guys up with me.”

“No!” Honoka cried and hugged Tsubasa closer, shaking her head defiantly. “We’ve finally found you. I’m not going to leave you behind!”

“Be a good girl and go.” Tsubasa lifted a trembling hand to caress Honoka’s face, smearing fresh scarlet over her flushed skin. How she had missed this woman - her angelic face, her lovely voice, her adorable clumsiness, her everything. A myriad of memories with the sobbing ginger ransacked her mind. Faced with all the could have been, she had so many things she wanted to tell Honoka but just so little time. “I’m glad you are okay,” she chose to say.

“No, no, no, Tsubasa you idiot! I won’t be okay if you leave me!”

Hot tears fell onto Tsubasa’s grimy cheek, creating wet trails down her jaw. It pained her to see the anguish etched into Honoka’s expression. “Erena, please take Honoka and leave.”

“Don’t be a pig! You think I’m going to ditch you?” Erena snapped but Tsubasa’s next words crumbled her resolve.

“And leave Anju all alone if you die with me?”

“W-Wha…”

“The police still needs your service.” Tsubasa coughed. Her throat was getting drier by the second. “And,” she choked as the thought of parting with Honoka crushed her, “help me look after Honoka.”

“One minute left,” You interrupted, sweat rolling down her temples. She had figured out part of the bomb system but it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t wired like most bombs. “Kira-san, it’s either the yellow or red wire but I’m not sure.”

“It’s fine. You’ve done enough. Give me the cutter and go. I’ll do it myself.”

“I’ll go at eight seconds,” insisted the ash-haired female.

Erena punched the wall, her lips quivering. “Damn it, Tsubasa!” She grabbed Honoka and pulled her towards the door but the sergeant latched onto Tsubasa with a vice-like grip. As though God noticed Erena’s distress, Eli and Nico arrived.

“Kira-san!”

“Ayase! Help me bring Kousaka out. We’ve less than a minute.”

Eli understood the situation with one glance. Together with Erena, they dragged a kicking and screaming Honoka away from Tsubasa.

“No! Let me stay with Tsubasa!” No matter how she thrashed, her struggle was futile; she was no match for their combined strength. Honoka turned her head back, blinking tears away so that she could have a clearer look at Tsubasa. When their eyes met, Honoka lost it. Even on the brink of death, Tsubasa was flashing her that ever loving smile. In spite of all the bruises, cuts, caked blood, she was still the stunning and kind Tsubasa whom Honoka fell in love with.

A beep louder than the previous ones sounded. Tsubasa peeked at the timer.

_Ten seconds!_

Using her last ounce of strength and her uninjured leg, she kicked You in the chest, causing the unsuspecting officer to tumble back, and made a mad and awkward dash towards the open window. She had never planned to take the gamble with the wires. All she knew was to get as far away from the rest as possible. It was her last duty – as a leader, a friend, and a lover.

“NO!” Honoka broke free from Eli and Erena with a sudden burst of adrenaline, snatched the cutter from You and caught Tsubasa who was clumsily dragging her wasted right leg over the window ledge. Honoka spun her around, eyes roaming over the wires. Either yellow or red, yellow or red, yellow or red, she repeated in her head.

“Honoka, what are-”

“I’ll take the chance with you.” Honoka’s bloodshot eyes were filled with a rare show of stubbornness. She didn’t budge when Tsubasa tried to push her away.

“Crap. Everyone out!” Nico urged and the group retreated despite their utmost reluctance. There was no time to bring Honoka back.

Hand shaking ever so slightly, Honoka brought the pliers towards the yellow wire and said a prayer in her heart. She had to do this. She couldn’t stomach the thought of letting Tsubasa go on her own.

_Four._

She took a deep breath.

_Three._

And snipped the wire.

 _Two._ The flashing digit continued to jump.

Nearly crying from the unfairness of it all, she drew Tsubasa into her arms, wishing to be as close as possible in their final moments. “I don’t regret this,” she said and squeezed her eyes shut.

Silence.

The beeping stopped.

Nothing exploded. They didn’t turn into charred meat. She was still holding Tsubasa. With bated breath, she dared to peek open an eye. The timer had frozen at ‘one’.

“We… are still alive…?”

“Looks like your luck is still going strong.” Tsubasa gave a tired but relieved smile. “I’m glad…” Before she could finish her sentence, her eyes rolled back and her body slumped onto Honoka.

“Tsubasa? Tsubasa!” Honoka placed a finger under Tsubasa’s nose. Still breathing but weak. Then she noticed a growing wetness against her leg. Blood was gushing from the gaping bullet holes that ripped through the front and back of Tsubasa’s knee which was bent at an unnatural angle. The brunette’s face paled rapidly. “Tsubasa! Stay with me! Don’t you dare leave me after all this! Tsubasa!”

Upon hearing Honoka’s cries and the lack of an explosion, the others returned to the doorway.

“Wait here.” You raised a hand, halting the rest. “I’ll go.” Moving quickly, she assisted Honoka to shift Tsubasa to the ground before carefully detaching the bomb. “Everyone cover your ears and duck!” she warned as she flung the deadly device out the window and shot it, making it explode like fireworks in the night.

All was quiet for a few seconds until an anxious Anju ran towards the group at the door and grabbed Erena’s arm. “I heard a blast! Was it… T-Tsubasa?”

Her partner held the hand on her arm and shook her head. “She’s alive. Kousaka stopped the bomb in time.” Erena let out a long breath as if to stabilize her own emotions. Nodding, Anju pushed past her to enter the room and gaped at the amount of blood pooling beneath Tsubasa’s lower limbs. Next to the unconscious brunette was a distraught Honoka trying to stop the blood flow with her jacket while mumbling incoherently.

“Everyone, pass us all the clothes you can spare!” Anju ordered as she stripped off her own outerwear and pressed it against the exposed flesh. She grimaced when she spied shattered bits of bone swimming in the thick crimson. “Honoka-san, it’s okay. Tsubasa’s our tough cookie.” She gave Honoka’s hand a squeeze. There was only one way to stop the severe bleeding. It carried a risk of amputation if Tsubasa didn’t get proper treatment in time but it was better than letting her bleed to death. “Erena, give me your belt!” Using the leather belt as a tourniquet above Tsubasa’s knee, she tightened it till the flow became a slow drip. As she worked, Honoka and Erena secured Tsubasa’s broken leg to her good one with the articles of clothing provided by the rest.

Off to the side, Eli did a check on her redheaded teammate who had gone after the runaways. “Maki, how are things on your side?”

**_“I managed to catch them by surprise and shot one but the other escaped. Sorry.”_ **

“It’s fine.” Eli’s eyes swept over Tsubasa’s now heavily bandaged wound. “Prepare the car. We are sending Kira-san to the nearest hospital.”

**_“Got it.”_ **

Erena tied the last knot on her end and nodded at Honoka and Anju who moved back to give her space. She scooped up her tiny leader with little effort.

“Hang in there, Tsubasa. You still have to take care of Kousaka yourself.”

* * *

It was a huge load off their shoulders now that they had recovered Tsubasa from the Blue Men. But the suspense was far from over. Honoka paced up and down the hospital hallway outside the operating theater. It had been over two hours since the medical team rushed a nearly lifeless Tsubasa in. Honoka shivered, not sure if it was from the air-conditioning or the fear of losing her girlfriend for real. Tsubasa’s skin had lost all its color, appearing chalk-like, by the time they reached the Emergency Department. Aside from Honoka and Maki, the rest of Unit 47 had stayed back at the warehouse with the Special Unit to gather information.

“Honoka.” Maki appeared round the corner, dressed in the pastel blue patient garb with her left arm in a sling. She had received treatment for her bullet wound and was ordered to stay for observation. She sat down on one of the chairs, not quite sure of what to say to her tense teammate.

“It’s all right,” Honoka spoke, voice drained of energy. “You don’t need to stay with me.”

“You should take a break. Go and wash up, eat, or something. You still have blood on you.”

Honoka shook her head. “I want to be here when Tsubasa comes out.” Truth be told, she was terrified Tsubasa would die the moment she left the place. If the surgery was to fail, she would rather the bomb exploded right there and then, taking her with Tsubasa. Staring down at her blood-stained hands, she could not bear to wash the only shred of life Tsubasa had left her with. Call her morbid, she didn’t care. It made her feel that teeny bit closer to her beloved and it was all that mattered.

Maki sighed, giving up. She could almost hear Nico taunting her miserable people skills.

A few minutes later, Erena and Anju returned with a few canned drinks from the nearby vending machine.

“Honoka-san,” Anju called gently, taking Honoka’s hand and placing a can of warm cocoa in it. “Tsu-chan told us you like sweet things. Drink up. You still need energy to welcome her when she’s out.”

Honoka fought down the lump in her throat as her eyes started to water again. It felt like Tsubasa was passing on her love through her trusted teammates. Small dents appeared on the can under her fingertips. “Thank you.”

Anju smiled when the younger woman ripped off the tab and chugged down the chocolaty contents. Tsubasa was family to them; she and Erena would help her look after Honoka even if she hadn’t asked. They were no less worried than Honoka and they also fully understood the implications Tsubasa’s extensive injuries would have on her career if she survived. It’d be a miracle if she could walk normally again, much less perform her law enforcing duties.

“How’s your arm?” Erena asked Maki when she sat down next to the officer and passed her a coffee.

“Thanks. Didn’t hit anything major so it’ll heal pretty soon.”

“That’s good.” Erena leaned back. The only sign of her unease was her right leg swinging back and forth. No one else but her own teammates knew this as her way of releasing stress. The coldness of Tsubasa’s body still lingered on her even with the warm drink in her hands. She glanced over at Honoka, feeling a surge of respect for the seemingly happy-go-lucky ginger. That girl had guts. Erena smiled a little at the memory of Tsubasa announcing her relationship with Honoka. That shorty had nearly cracked Erena’s ribs when she asked if she had lost a dare. Erena now felt guilty for being so quick to judge; she certainly owed Honoka an apology.

_Oi, Tsubasa, I’ll apologize to your carrot top at your wedding so you better live to hear it._

She closed her eyes, hoping for the gods to be forgiving on their weary souls.

* * *

Her mind was hazy. Her body wouldn’t listen to her when she attempted to move. But she was vaguely aware of the things in her immediate environment: the unmistakable scent of disinfectant, the monotonous drone of the air-conditioning system, the softness of the mattress underneath her. They felt foreign but safe, a huge contrast to the torturous environment she had last suffered in. Her arm was pinned down by a weight – a weight that was familiar, warm.

And wet.

The corner of her mouth curled and she was struck with instant regret when a sting split across her dry lips.

“Tsubasa?”

The weight on her was up in a second and she felt herself being rocked by eager hands. _Hmm… The moist patch is beginning to feel cool._

“Did you… drool… on me… again?”

“Tsubasa!”

The sight that greeted her when she finally opened her eyes was a face full of tears and snot and some leftover drool. _Oh dear, something is going to drip. It’s dangling. It’s definitely going to drip. Aaaand it just did._ Not that it bothered her. She was glad, truly, to be able to see this face again.

Kousaka Honoka. The woman who had risked her life to lug her back from the gates of hell.

“Hey… don’t cry…”

Honoka only wailed louder and enveloped her in a crushing bear hug. “S-Stupid, stupid Tsubasa! I was so scared! I thought I wouldn’t get to see you again! Don’t you do anything like that again!”

Tsubasa croaked out a chuckle and allowed herself to be embraced by Honoka, catching a whiff of gunpowder and blood on her clothes. _Has she been here the whole time? What had she gone through to save me?_

“Can I have a kiss?” she blurted. Her speech was slow and strained and her lips were probably far from inviting but the desire was irresistible. After all, it was her last regret before the bomb was supposed to go off.

The ginger appeared all ready to fulfil her request but she suddenly turned away, grabbed a tissue and blew her nose hard. Tsubasa didn’t know if she should laugh or cry; Honoka only realized her abundant supply of body fluids after she had technically wiped most of it on her shirt.

“Sorry…” Honoka gestured sheepishly at the slimy, damp patch on Tsubasa’s top.

“I’m used to it and,” Tsubasa smiled, “I actually missed it. Come here.” She watched as a wide beam replaced Honoka’s apologetic expression. “I love you,” she whispered before their lips met. She briefly wondered if her peeling lips were causing Honoka discomfort but her lover didn’t seem to mind. Tenderly they moved but not without a sense of need as they made up for lost time, conveying their pent-up yearning for each other. Under normal circumstances, Tsubasa would’ve flipped their positions. She laid her hand on Honoka’s waist but found a thick padding obstructing her touch. Starting from her thumb, she curled her fingers. One, two, three, four. She dropped her hand.

_I forgot._

She stopped the kiss. Green eyes peered past Honoka. There on the bed was her bandaged right leg bent and secured in a knee brace with complicated-looking aluminum hinges. She couldn’t move it.

"Honoka.”

Honoka felt it – Tsubasa’s sudden change in mood.

“Can you call the doctor?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that concludes the first arc! Hope you guys are enjoying the story so far (maybe enjoying isn't such a suitable word after what I've done to Tsubasa). By the way, can anyone guess who my favourite Aqours member is? :P  
> I'm currently working on a TsubaHono oneshot which I hope will be done in time for Valentine's Day. Please look out for it! I think I'm starting to see a pattern: In the Grey, oneshot, In the Grey, oneshot, and so on. One thing is constant though - the pairing, heh.
> 
> As always, thank you very much for reading! I'll see you next month! ^_^


	6. How You Remind Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having sustained grave injuries including the loss of a finger, Tsubasa's future appears bleak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it’s been three months since the last chapter? I had really lost track of time >_< I hope you are still with me. Without further ado, let’s dive into the next arc!

When Superintendent Minami and the doctor entered the room with grim expressions, Tsubasa knew it was bad news.

“The bullets destroyed much of the bone structure in your right knee. The damage to the surrounding muscles, ligaments and cartilages is severe. The only way to save your knee would be a total knee replacement but even then, it will not be a full recovery. Based on your condition, it’s possible to regain 80 percent function of your leg, that is, if no complications arise during or after the surgery. And you’ll have to avoid activities that will put excessive pressure on your knee,” said the doctor.

“What if I don’t go for the surgery?”

“The other option would be above-knee amputation, followed by the fitting of a prosthetic leg.”

“That means…” Tsubasa turned to her superior. The glum look she received sealed her fate. A dry chuckle bubbled up her throat. How laughable. Her promising future shot down just like that. All her years of hard work meant nothing now. Her days of chasing criminals had become a thing of the past. Fuck it. Fuck it all.

“Focus on recovering, Tsubasa-san. We can discuss your future in the force when you are better.”

“My future in pushing paper, you mean,” Tsubasa spat, bitterness lacing her every word. There was no other way to react, was there? A week ago she was still an able-bodied adult, busting crimes at a rate no one could match. “I’m right, aren’t I?” she asked when Supt. Minami flinched. She pulled her hand away from Honoka’s, causing blue eyes to widen at the sudden loss of warmth.

“Leave, all of you.”

“Tsubasa…”

“I said, leave.” Her quiet voice commanded their attention.

Supt. Minami nodded. “I understand. We’ll talk again.” Trading solemn looks, she and the doctor exited the room.

Silence hung in the air, heavy and thick. It suffocated Honoka. The person she had been hugging a few minutes ago refused to meet her gaze. “I’m sorry, Tsubasa. It’s all because of me.”

Dull green eyes held no soul in them as they continued staring down.

Honoka fought back tears, the initial relief from their reunion dashed in a brief exchange of words. Never had she seen Tsubasa so broken. She was always proud, always confident, always in charge – and always gentle with her. For the first time, she felt the distance between them. She opened her mouth to speak but found her voice stuck, guilt having rendered her speechless. She reached for Tsubasa’s shoulder only to be shrugged off.

“Sorry, Honoka. Not now.”

Eyes misting over, Honoka nodded and made her way to the door. Her presence probably irked Tsubasa. Turning back, she made a last-ditch effort to reach out to the brunette. “I’ll come back later.” Closing the door, she leant back and bit her quivering lip, letting tears fall.

“Honoka-san,” a familiar motherly voice spoke.

“S-Superintendent!” Honoka scrambled to wipe her tears.

“I see Tsubasa-san didn’t let you stay too. Give her some time. It’s a shock to all of us. Why don’t you go home and get a good rest? I’ll try to talk her round later.” Supt. Minami squeezed her trembling shoulder.

The display of concern shattered the brave front Honoka was trying to put up and she succumbed to the sobs she had been holding back. The enormity of the situation crashed down on her. “I-It’s all my fault that Tsubasa is in this state. If only I hadn’t been s-so impulsive… She risked her life to save me and this happened. I should’ve been the one kidnapped. I should’ve been the one to lose a finger. I should’ve-”

“Don’t blame yourself. You did your best in that situation. This is a big setback for Tsubasa-san so she’ll need your support more than ever. It’ll be tough but knowing you, you won’t give up on her, right?”

Sliding her hands off her stained face, Honoka gathered her emotions.

“I won’t, I promise.”

* * *

Weeks passed uneventfully. All the clues the police found at the warehouse led to dead ends. The Blue Men they had arrested – those who didn’t manage to kill themselves in time – refused to talk. And it didn’t take long for them to commit suicide in prison. One bit off his tongue, another cracked his skull against the shower wall. The gruesome deaths freaked out the rest of the inmates – and made an utter joke of the police force. Once again, they were back to square one.

“They really know how to make us feel useless,” Nico growled, slumping into her seat in Unit 47’s office. “We lost our star inspector and all we have to show for it is the knowledge that their boss is a female. And we can’t even confirm that.”

“Nico!” Eli hissed, shooting a discreet glance at the ginger sitting across them.

Nico cursed inwardly and sneaked a peek at Honoka’s face. They knew the sergeant had been doing all she could to support her wounded girlfriend. At one point, things seemed to be looking up when Tsubasa regained some movement in her right knee after the surgery. Every day she pushed herself with the ferocity of a tiger during her physiotherapy sessions, never stopping till her clothes were soaked and clinging to her gaunt frame. She believed she could overcome her handicap through sheer willpower and diligence. But it was not to be.  A reassessment reaffirmed the initial prognosis: she was doomed to a life of limping and as with most total knee replacements, it would wear out over time. If she was lucky, her implant could last two decades; if not, a few measly years.

The phone rang.

“CIB Unit 47, Ayase speaking. Oh, all right. I understand. I’ll pass the message.” Eli put the receiver down and turned to Honoka, unsurprised to find the other looking at her expectantly. “The Logistics Division called. She’s drinking again.”

The hurt that flashed across Honoka’s face did not escape her comrades.

“We’re almost done here. You can go after this announcement,” said Eli. “Everyone, the top wants us to take other cases and put the Blue Men on hold until we receive new intelligence.”

“But we’ve been working so hard!” blurted Honoka.

“Unfortunately, we’re not making progress. I know it’s frustrating but we can’t keep wasting taxpayers’ money.” Eli hated to be the deliverer of bad news. It crushed her whenever she had to see her team’s disappointed faces. They were a dedicated bunch – not as astute as A-RISE but definitely just as hard-working. She rested her elbows on the table, steepling her fingers. “I suspect the Blue Men are operating under a new name. Let’s keep a lookout for any up and coming gangs.”

Umi whipped towards her leader. “Didn’t you just say…”

“The top didn’t explicitly say we can’t continue our investigations on the Blue Men, right?”

Realization dawned on them.

“You mean…”

Eli confirmed their thoughts with a nod. “You ladies up for the extra work?”

“You bet! We can’t let them get away after what they did to Tsubasa.” Nico pounded the table.

Maki, who had been quietly playing with her hair, raised a brow. “You care an awful lot about her.”

The black-haired corporal crossed her arms, a smirk playing on her lips. “Jealous, Tsundere-chan?”

“W-What? No way!”

Nico snorted, secretly pleased to have ruffled the redhead’s feathers. “Of course I care. She was our best. If they didn’t do that to her, she’d still be-”

“Nico, please,” Eli interjected.

Nico cursed aloud this time. She and her stupid mouth! “Sorry, Honoka.”

“It’s okay.” Honoka gave a smile that was painful to watch. “I’m glad you care about Tsubasa too. Anyway, can I leave now, Eli?”

“Oh yes, sure. We’ll talk about the new cases tomorrow. Do you need help?” Eli observed her subordinate with worry. Honoka was looking worse for wear with each day that passed, her complexion having turned a sickly sallow while dark rings robbed her eyes of their sparkle.

“I’ll go with you.” Umi stood up.

“No.” The response came quickly. “I can handle this. And,” Honoka tightened her grip on her bag strap, “she’ll be upset if she sees you again.”

“But-”

“I’ll be fine. It’s not the first time anyway.” With that, Honoka left, leaving an awkward tension in the room.

* * *

Honoka sighed. She didn’t want to shoot Umi down like that. Her friend meant well, she knew, but the last time she came along, she had given Tsubasa a stern lecture in front of Tsubasa’s new co-workers – which only destroyed whatever little self-esteem the brunette had. As Honoka neared the Logistics Division, increasingly loud slurred shouts tore through the corridor. Bracing herself for the impending – and familiar – chaos, she sucked in a breath and pushed the door. At once, she was greeted by the relieved faces of those who worked there.

“Kousaka-san, you’re here!”

“Please calm Kira-san down!”

An empty beer can rolled towards Honoka and hit her sneakers. The strong smell of alcohol attacked her nostrils. A few meters away was Tsubasa leaning heavily against her crooked desk. She tipped on the balls of her feet, then her heels, struggling to keep her balance. Cheeks flushed, she swung a heavy arm across her desktop. Documents scattered and rained like ill-timed confetti while more empty cans clanged to the floor. The office workers who were unused to dealing with unruly individuals backed further away, leaving Honoka to handle Tsubasa on her own.

“Damn this shit! Who cares about fucking papers! How dare you ask me, the great Kira Tsubasa to sit in the office!” The inebriated woman staggered away from the desk and promptly tripped over her own feet, making a total spectacle of herself.

Honoka rushed forward, catching her in time. “Tsubasa! Stop this! We’re going home.”

“No!” Tsubasa tried to shove her away. “I want more beer!”

“Tsubasa, please. You’ve drunk enough.”

Tsubasa pushed her face into Honoka’s. Crimson threaded her eyes so densely that they appeared pink. Her breath reeked. “You… I hate you.”

It was like a punch in the gut. Honoka’s nose tingled; her eyes stung. She could feel the pitying stares from the others. They made her want to get out of there as soon as possible. “We’re going home,” she repeated, slinging Tsubasa’s arm around her shoulders. She muttered a quick apology to the logistics staff and dragged a protesting Tsubasa away.

The cab ride to Tsubasa’s apartment was quiet as she had dozed off not long after they boarded. In her sleep, her head drooped and nestled itself on Honoka’s shoulder. It was only at times like this she wouldn’t reject the younger woman’s company. In the darkness, Honoka found Tsubasa’s hand and slipped her own over it, loosely lacing their fingers. The former inspector’s skin was warm from the alcohol she had ingested – but one part stood out with its cool, rubbery surface.

_There are some things we can never get back._

If only those things merely meant the physical… Deep down, Honoka felt she was losing something a lot more important.

* * *

It didn’t take long for the inevitable to happen. And it had to happen in the ugliest way possible.

Tsubasa was called to the Chief Superintendent’s office over the PA system. It ignited a flurry of speculation within the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department. Being summoned to the top brass’ office usually meant bad news and with Tsubasa’s off-putting behaviour ever since her discharge from the hospital, it could only mean one thing. Staff from various departments gathered outside the hefty mahogany doors of the office; Unit 47 and the remaining two members of A-RISE were no exception. Everyone, including the cleaners, was aware of Tsubasa’s mighty fall from grace – once the pride of the force, now nothing but an ill-tempered alcoholic. 

A deafening slam jolted all who were outside. Erena grabbed the door handle but was stopped by Anju.

“We can’t go in.”

“But-” Before Erena could continue, Tsubasa was heard yelling.

“You want to sack me? Because I’m a fucking cripple? So this is how you old bastards do things. I did so much for the force and this is what I get because I’m useless to you now, huh? I’ll show you I can still fight, you ass-”

“What’re you-”

_Whump. Crack. Thud._

“Take her out!”

The doors swung open. Hands restrained at her back, Tsubasa stumbled out, flanked by an officer on each side. A sizeable red mark bloomed on the left side of her face.

“Take your hands off me! I can walk by myself!” She shook herself free and the sudden loss of support threw her to the floor.

“Tsubasa!” Honoka jostled her way to her girlfriend.

“Don’t help me!” Tsubasa snapped, eyes flashing. “I’ll show them… No, I’ll show you all.” Teeth clenched, she pushed herself up. Her right leg bent and shook like a newborn lamb’s, soon giving way under her weight and slamming her back to the ground. With a small gurgle, she spat out the blood collecting in her mouth. Her ex-teammates as well as Unit 47 turned away, unable to stand the sight.

Eli spotted the Chief Superintendent exiting the office with Supt. Minami. “Chief! Isn’t there some other way? Must you sack Kira-san?”

The hardened russet eyes of the middle-aged man they called Chief showed no signs of backing down. “We’ve given her many chances but she didn’t treasure them.”

“But still-”

“Eli-san,” Supt. Minami cut in before the blonde could say something she might regret. “She tried to hit the Chief with her crutch just now.”

Eli’s breath hitched. She looked past them and spotted Tsubasa’s walking aid on the floor.

A faint laugh caught their attention. Tsubasa had somehow got back on her feet – wobbly but standing on her own. Sweat dripped down her neck. “You can keep my stinking stick. Treat it as my farewell gift to you ingrates.” The hate in her eyes burned, promising vengeance.

“Eli.” Honoka shot her leader a look to which she received a nod. She hurried after Tsubasa who had hardly moved a few pathetic meters.

“Why are you following me? Go back to them!” Tsubasa barked in spite of her obvious struggle to even walk straight. Although it gutted her, Honoka was adamant about standing by her side. She grabbed Tsubasa’s arm, forcing the other to use her as a support.

“Because I promised to be with you.”

The corners of Tsubasa’s mouth turned down.

* * *

Once they reached Tsubasa’s home, she hobbled straight to the cabinet where she displayed the numerous awards she had won during her time with the police force. Most Outstanding Recruit. Best Marksman. Champion of the Tactical Police Competition… and so many more that she had lost count. But they meant jack shit now. Knuckles turning white from balling her fists too hard, she stood with her shoulders hunched and trembling. Suddenly, she lashed out at the entire row of trophies. Metal snapped. Glass shattered. Fragments flew in all directions, cutting bare pale skin in their way. Dots of blood seeped out through the nicks in her feet.

Honoka’s heart lurched and another wave of self-blame seized her. Why had she let Tsubasa out of her sight? Even a minute was too long. When Tsubasa raised her hands towards the other row of awards, Honoka lunged forward, throwing her arms around Tsubasa.

“Don’t do it!” she screamed. She hated seeing Tsubasa like this. Those awards were proof of Tsubasa’s efforts and talents. They were proof that she had been an amazing, responsible law enforcer, one whom no one could best. “Please, Tsubasa… Don’t do this to yourself.”

The brunette’s lifeless chuckle chilled her to the bone. “Look at me, Honoka. I thought I had everything but I was betrayed by the very organization I believed in. No one cares about awards once you’re useless.”

“I care! I care about you!” Hot tears dampened Tsubasa’s neck. “Don’t give up on yourself. You’re smart. You can do great things even if you’re not with the police.”

“Shut up.”

“W-What…”

“You’re just saying all this to make yourself feel better. You’re the reason I’ve become like this. Every time I see you I’m reminded of what happened.”

Honoka shook her head in disbelief. This wasn’t the Tsubasa she knew. The Tsubasa she knew would never tell her to shut up. The Tsubasa she knew would never glare at her with such hatred; those eyes were reserved for the criminals she interrogated, never Honoka.

“Do you know how much it hurts when I move?” Drop by drop, tears escaped emerald eyes. “It fucking hurts. It makes me want to die. I… I wish I’d never saved you.”

Honoka’s arms fell to her sides. Rage threatened to flare. They had barely emerged alive from that incident. They had put their lives on the line to save each other. She thought only death could separate them. How… How dare Tsubasa make light of their love?

But Tsubasa was speaking the truth; Honoka had no right to be upset. Before she could fully absorb those brutal – and almost unreal – words, Tsubasa dropped the next bomb.

“I’ve never loved you that much.”

That did it. The floodgates opened. Tears flowed endlessly.

“N-No… you don’t mean it. You’re just tired. I’ll take you to your bed. Y-You rest. And when you wake up, we can talk again.”

“Wake up, Honoka! I know you feel it too! We’re no longer the same as before. I can’t look you in the eye without feeling how unfair it is – to me! I’m more self-centred than you think… than I’d thought.” Tsubasa drew a deep breath, fists shaking. “Let’s break up.”

Honoka didn’t speak; Tsubasa looked away. Bereft of any sounds other than the occasional sniffle, the apartment was still as a mortuary.  The silence was a gaping void not unlike the unmendable hole in their relationship. Honoka expected herself to crumble, wail, anything but stand dumbly. A myriad of thoughts tumbled through her mind, yet it couldn’t hold onto a single one. How hollow she felt. Without thinking, she swept the glass shards aside with her slipper-clad foot, paving a path. She took Tsubasa by the hand and led her to the bedroom. Motions stiff and robotic, she tended to the cuts on Tsubasa’s feet. They weren’t too deep, thankfully.

“I love you, Tsubasa. Nothing will change that.” She chewed her lip as she applied a plaster on one of the larger cuts. This was where they had sworn their love, where Tsubasa had promised not to leave her _ever_. Those loving whispers and caresses now seemed like a distant dream. It was as though they had never happened. “I’ll stay with you until you’re better. If you still can’t stand me then, I’ll leave.”

“Suit yourself.” The sheets rustled as Tsubasa pushed herself back and flopped onto the bed. She didn’t even let Honoka finish, not at all bothered when antiseptic cream smeared the grey fabric under her feet.

The ginger squashed her heartache and put away the first aid supplies, using the chance to steady her breathing. When she returned, Tsubasa appeared to have dozed off – something she had been doing a lot ever since the surgery. She used to be so active and actually abhorred sleep as she claimed it was a waste of time; it was not uncommon for her to survive on four hours of sleep per day. However, she would compromise whenever Honoka stayed over just so that they could cuddle and spend the time sharing about their day; more often than not, Honoka was the one talking while Tsubasa gave her undivided attention and listened with a fond smile.

Honoka missed those days. She missed Tsubasa.

Her eyes fell upon the photograph sitting on the bedside table. It showed the couple in happier times – more specifically, during Honoka’s last birthday. She was grinning from ear to ear while Tsubasa planted a kiss on her cheek as fireworks exploded in the background. Dressed in cheery yellow and cool navy yukata respectively, they were at the Tokyo Bay Fireworks Festival. Not even halfway through the evening, she had spilled her drink on Tsubasa’s newly bought outfit but the brunette simply laughed it off. Never had she lost her temper at Honoka despite how her clumsy and muddleheaded nature had inconvenienced Tsubasa countless times. _But she’s finally had it with me. My error this time cost her too much._ Unconsciously, Honoka began playing with the ear stud on her right earlobe. She remembered the moment like it was yesterday: Tsubasa suddenly held up a tiny box when the sky erupted in a dazzling display of vivid amber. Before Honoka could react, she opened it, revealing a round cut lime green gemstone that was simple yet brilliant.

“Did you know the Egyptians called the peridot the gem of the sun? Very fitting for the woman who brightens up my life, don’t you think?” Tsubasa had said with her trademark charming smile, causing Honoka to turn a deep shade of red.

Crawling towards the still figure on the bed, Honoka put her arms around her from behind. Perhaps Tsubasa would push her away when she awoke, and she’d be subjected to a disdainful glare. But at this moment, she just wanted to be close to her.

“I’ll do anything to bring you back… even if it means you choose to leave me in the end.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Feel free to let me know what you think, or speculate the plot in the comments. As I don’t have any pressing one-shot ideas to write, the next update shouldn’t take too long, I hope. Have a great day and see you around! ^_^


	7. A Calloused Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Worried about their friend, Umi and Kotori pay Tsubasa a visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! It took me longer than expected to finish this chapter as I got stumped along the way and was also quite affected by real-life events happening around the world and in my own country. I wouldn't say all's good now but it's enough for me to get back to writing. Anyway, we've somehow got some KotoUmi here. It's high time the supporting characters got some love!

“Kotori, I’m worried about Honoka.” Seated at the bar counter of her girlfriend’s darts bar, Umi cut a svelte yet athletic figure with shoulders broader than the average Japanese female’s. She stirred her virgin mojito, watching fresh mint leaves swirl around as ice cubes clinked against each other. She was alone tonight. Eli had gone home to celebrate her grandmother’s birthday while Nico had dragged a reluctant Maki to watch an anime film about school idols. Although she enjoyed the lack of heart-stopping action now that the Blue Men had gone under the radar, she had other matters to worry about – namely her childhood friend’s well-being.

A shadow cast over Umi as a hand – damp from a quick rinse – slid over the counter and gave her a gentle squeeze. Umi relaxed a little under the touch. Looking up, she met eyes that were the same shade of amber as her own. Round and soft, Kotori’s eyes emitted affable vibes – motherly even. They had the power to bring down Umi’s wall, assuring her it didn’t make anyone less competent to rely on others once in a while.

“She refuses to tell me anything but I know things are not going well between her and Kira-san. I’ve seen how aggressive Kira-san can get when she’s drunk and it seems like she doesn’t care about Honoka anymore. I’m afraid Honoka will get hurt. And it’s unhealthy. She spends all her free time at Kira-san’s place. She doesn’t hang out with us anymore. She’s… shutting us out.”

“I know, Umi-chan. I’m worried too but,” Kotori brushed a stray lock of hair out of Umi’s eye, “I can understand her feelings.”

“What do you mean?”

Kotori gave a small smile. Her girlfriend had always been slow – some would say dense – when it came to affairs of the heart. Kotori would know because it had taken Umi donkey’s years to admit her feelings for her. “Honoka-chan loves Kira-san, just like how I love you. If you were in Kira-san’s position, I’d stand by you too.”

“I’d never hurt you-”

Kotori pressed down on Umi’s hand. “I know. I know you’d never act that way. I’m just saying. Think about it, Umi-chan. Would you leave me if I become like that one day?”

“Of course not!” Umi said without hesitation and once the words spilled from her mouth, her eyes widened.

“See?” Kotori smiled again. “That’s how it is. How about we visit them after this drink?”

“But Honoka doesn’t want me to meet Kira-san.”

“Then say I want to go and you’re just accompanying me. It’ll be fine.”

Umi returned a weak smile, doubt still weighing down her chest. She didn’t trust herself to be patient with Tsubasa but with Kotori there things couldn’t get that bad, right? She took a sip of her drink, silently vowing to keep her emotions in check later.

* * *

Vehicles whizzed past, their tail lights leaving blurred trails in Honoka’s unblinking eyes. Red and yellow. Yellow and red. Just like the wires on the time bomb. Raising two fingers in the shape of a pair of scissors, she watched as flashes of light weaved between them. She had cut the yellow wire then. What if she had cut the red one? The bomb probably would’ve exploded, killing them. But at least, they would’ve died believing their love was unbreakable. Love that ran deep as the ocean. Love that would keep going even if all the clocks in the world stopped. Yellow had saved their flesh but killed their hearts. Could it even be called saving?

A salaryman bumped into Honoka, snapping her back to reality. She muttered an apology but his curt tsk drowned her out. Swallowing the lump in her throat, she moved away from the edge of the sidewalk and headed towards her destination where the aroma of grilled takoyaki permeated. Feet on autopilot carried her to the counter of the same store she had bought from the night her impulsiveness knocked down the first domino of a downward spiral.

“One set please.”

“That’ll be 640 yen,” said the store assistant. Same lanky teenager. Same bored tone.

When she received the piping hot snack, she wondered if Tsubasa still liked it. So many things had changed; she wasn’t sure if she knew her anymore. Chances were Tsubasa disliked it now, just like how she couldn’t stand the sight of Honoka.

_What am I doing?_

Honoka stared at the food, debating if she should return it or take it to Tsubasa. An image of a pleased Tsubasa surfaced in her mind. She had always rewarded Honoka’s efforts at surprising her with a kiss and a grateful smile. How long had it been since she saw that smile? She squeezed the plastic bag’s handle, feeling it crinkle in her grip, and turned away from the store.

When she reached Tsubasa’s apartment, it was almost 9PM. Would she be drunk again? Or passed out on the couch? Did she eat the lunch Honoka had prepared before leaving for work? Did she fall down? Did she smash something again? With all the questions hurting her head, Honoka took a step in and promptly kicked over a pair of maroon stilettos.

_A visitor?_

Slipping off her sneakers, she entered the apartment. The living room lights were on but there was no one there. However, on the coffee table were two packets of half-eaten takoyaki and several cans of beer. Her hand twitched. So Tsubasa still enjoyed it but she didn’t derive any joy from the information as she thought she would. On the contrary, confusion and dread seeped through her pores. Then it was like the world froze over. An unknown female voice and Tsubasa’s came from the bedroom. Moans that were all too familiar. Moans that Honoka herself had made in the very same room where she bared her entire being to the woman she loved.

“No way…”

The sounds she heard made her wish she was deaf. Smacking of lips. Gasps. Moans. Giggles. She didn’t want to believe it. Tsubasa wouldn’t do this to her! Stomach knotting up, pulse pounding in her mouth, she braced herself… and shoved the door. The bang when it smashed the wall coincided with the breaking of her heart.

On the bed, a woman in lacy lingerie straddled Tsubasa. Her long auburn hair splayed over Tsubasa’s shoulders as she peppered her neck with kisses. Upon the sudden intrusion, she shrieked and jumped off Tsubasa, tugging the covers up to her chest. Her voluptuous figure stirred feelings of inferiority in Honoka – but what dealt the killer blow was Tsubasa’s indifferent reaction. Aside from a flash of surprise across her face, there was not a trace of guilt evident. She leant towards the woman, whispering, “Wait for me.”

“W-What is the meaning of this? Who is she?”

Tsubasa didn’t answer. She adjusted her crumpled shirt with achingly slow motions, taking her time to button it up.

“Tsubasa!” Honoka’s voice cracked, her nails digging into the palm of her hand but she hardly noticed. “Why? Why are you doing this? Tsubasa!”

Tsubasa slid down the bed and limped her way towards Honoka, using the walls as support. Honoka had to do everything in her willpower not to turn away as Tsubasa got nearer. Hair that she used to run her fingers through was unkempt. Cheeks that she used to kiss now bore lipstick stains belonging to someone else. Clean apple and flora scent that she found comfort in was masked by overly sweet perfume. When their eyes met, Honoka almost crumbled. Tsubasa had never looked so cold.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it?”

Honoka scrunched her nose.

“I might be like this but I still have my needs.”

“But you have me! If you need anything, let me know!”

“Anything?” A smirk was all Honoka saw before Tsubasa yanked her in with startling strength and pressed their mouths together, forcing her tongue down her throat.

Hot. Bitter. Rough. Something rose in Honoka’s throat.

“S-stop!” She pushed her away.

Lips curling, Tsubasa looked ready to laugh. “See? You can’t give me what I want.”

“No!” Honoka lunged for Tsubasa’s hand. “I didn’t mean it! I’m sorry!”

Tsubasa rolled her eyes and wiped her lips on her sleeve, just short of spitting. “Save it. Do you think I really want to kiss you?”

“How… How could you say that with a straight face?”

“Funny. You asked me the same thing when you lost your virginity to me here.”

Sheer grit was the only thing preventing Honoka from buckling. Disbelief engulfed her, threatening to sweep away the last ounce of faith she had been desperately clinging onto. “It’s different! It… was different. You weren’t like this. I-I don’t believe it. I don’t believe it!” Throwing her arms around Tsubasa, she cried, fresh tears making messy tracks down her face. She was a hair’s breadth away from losing Tsubasa; she knew but she refused to accept it. She couldn’t let go, not after all they had been through, not when she still loved her. “You’re still in there… The Tsubasa I know is still in there. Don’t do this. Don’t give up. We can go through this together. I’ll do anything… anything! Just don’t give up… I beg you… Tsubasa… please… please…”

Silence. Tsubasa was unflinching. No return of the hug. No words of comfort.

“Past tense, Honoka.” And no emotion in her voice. “Like you said, it _was_ different. We _were_ loving.” She nudged Honoka back. “The only thing I need you to do is to get out of my life. I can’t forget with you around. I’ll be reminded of how I became a cripple, of the force that betrayed me.”

“No, we can work out something. We-”

“I’ll be better off without you. We’re over.”

 _We’re over._ The words stunned her like a death sentence.

Tsubasa brushed Honoka’s hands off her. “Now, if you don’t mind,” she glanced at the woman still on her bed, “there’s something I’d like to finish.”

Honoka staggered back, shaking her head but the motion did little to calm the raging storm within her. Losing all logic and control, she swung her arm, a tight smack sounding when her palm connected with Tsubasa’s cheek.

Then she ran. And ran and ran. Out of the apartment, down the stairs, onto the streets. Everything was a blur. Nothing made sense anymore. She knocked into things, people. She tripped, fell, and continued running. Her ears tuned out the sounds around her. All she heard was Tsubasa’s voice.

_We’re over._

_“I’ll be with you forever and ever.”_

_We’re over._

_“Cross my heart.”_

_We’re over._

_“I love you and I won’t leave you. Not now, not ever.”_

_We’re over._

How did it end up this way? What happened to that promise? Was it all a lie? Empty words? Didn’t their relationship mean anything? The hugs, the kisses… What about the time they made love? No, not love. What love? It was simply sex to Tsubasa. A physical need. She could do it with anyone. She didn’t need Honoka. Any woman would do. So what if Honoka had been taking care of her all this time? So what if she had sworn to stand by her? Nothing! They meant nothing!

She crashed onto the pavement, scrapping her hands and knees. It hurt, but it didn’t hurt as much as her heart.

“AAAAHH!”

Her emotions ripped through like the howl of a wounded animal. Sobs wracked against her ribs and she pounded her fist into the jagged stones, cutting her skin till her knuckles were an ugly red mess. When the pain turned into numbness, she stopped and let her tears splash thick and fast onto the gravel, wailing like a baby abandoned and unloved. Devoid of another soul, the trees in the park were the only witnesses to her breakdown. The darkness of the night made her feel even more alone and small. Falling back, she cradled her trembling body, trying but failing to suppress her sobs. A crinkle – and she realized she was still holding onto the bag of takoyaki.

Bile rose in her throat.

Tearing into the packet, she shoved ball after ball of now-cold grilled batter into her mouth, chewing vigorously. _If Tsubasa doesn’t want you, I’ll take you!_ Before she had swallowed the mouthful, she stuffed another one in. _I won’t abandon you!_ And another and another till she choked. Tears springing to her eyes, she coughed and threw up all over herself. She screamed, then flung the empty box with all her might.

A gust of wind blew it back to her side.

And she screamed again.

* * *

“This should be it.”

Umi and Kotori stood before Tsubasa’s apartment. They had never been here before but thankfully, Umi still retained the address she had forced out of Honoka when she started dating Tsubasa. As her finger moved towards the doorbell, the door opened.

But it wasn’t Tsubasa or Honoka.

“Who are you?” blurted Umi upon the appearance of a provocatively dressed lady. Then she spotted the wad of notes clutched in the woman’s hand. Immediately putting two and two together, Umi rushed into the unit. “Honoka!”

“She’s not here.”

Umi’s eyes landed on the figure on the living room couch. Scowling when Tsubasa downed the contents of a glass bottle, she stalked up to her. “What do you mean she’s not here? She’s always here!”

“Umi-chan!” Kotori pulled her girlfriend back. “Remember what we agreed on in the car?”

“But look at her! She doesn’t seem the least bit concerned about Honoka!”

Tsubasa set the bottle down with a heavy thud, fingers wrapped around its neck in a white-knuckled grip. Her eyes were glassy and her face flushed, a stark contrast to her white shirt. “Good that you’re here. You can clear out Honoka’s belongings. She didn’t take them when she left.”

“Left? Clear out? Don’t tell me you...”

“We broke up.”

Umi balled her fist. “You called a hooker here and Honoka saw her, didn’t she?”

“Sharp as always, Sonoda. I don’t expect anything less of you.”

“Just what has she done to deserve this? I thought you love her!”

“Not anymore.” Tsubasa took another swig of beer. “I felt like fucking today. Or would you rather I fuck Honoka?” She snickered as though she had cracked a good joke.

“You-!” Words failed Umi. She sure as hell wouldn’t want Honoka to be touched by this vile excuse for a human being but… “Still, that’s cheating! Honoka gave you everything! She believed in you even after the way you treated her! How dare you-”

“Wait!” Kotori cut in, tightening her hold on Umi. “Kira-san, who initiated the breakup?”

Tsubasa quirked a brow. “Are you stupid?”

Kotori winced but stood firm.

“Don’t you speak to Kotori like that!”

“It’s fine, Umi-chan.” Kotori kept her focus on Tsubasa. “So who was it?”

“I did it.” Tsubasa slumped back on the couch, placing a hand over her eyes. She let out a long breath. “Are you two done? I’m tired.”

“More than done. And I’ll make sure Honoka’s done with you too,” growled Umi. “You’re a disappointment. To think I looked up to you in the past.”

“Close the door on your way out.”

Disappointment would be an understatement; Umi gritted her teeth, positively seething inside. “Let’s go, Kotori. Obviously this person is beyond help.”

“Kira-san, will you regret doing this?” Kotori squeezed in another question but all Tsubasa did was to wave her off with her free hand.

“Don’t waste your breath,” Umi urged. “We’ve got to look for Honoka.”

With a nagging pang in her heart, Kotori cast a final glance at Tsubasa’s lone, disheveled figure before leaving with Umi.

* * *

To their dismay, their calls kept getting diverted to Honoka’s voicemail. Circling the roads aimlessly, Umi tapped on the steering wheel, anxiety rising.

“Could she have gone home?” Kotori pressed the red icon on her phone after yet another automated voice telling her to leave a message. “Should we call her house?”

“No. If she’s not home, we’d worry her family. And she wouldn’t want that. She still feels guilty about implicating them when Ishida’s body was dumped behind their house.”

Kotori nodded, falling silent. She fidgeted with her phone. Honoka must be devastated. Almost polar opposites, she and Tsubasa made the most unlikely pair but their relationship worked out surprisingly well. They had hardly quarrelled, thanks to Tsubasa’s unfathomable fondness for Honoka’s quirks that would otherwise drive others up the wall. And she could tell Honoka had brought immeasurable joy to Tsubasa with her bubbly and genuine nature. Those two truly loved each other; her intuition couldn’t be wrong. But this also meant the breakup could have unthinkable effects on Honoka. What if she-

A hand, calloused and familiar, clasped Kotori’s.

“We’ll find her.” Although Umi continued to look ahead, the conviction in her voice pulled Kotori’s mind back. “We will.” After the words left her mouth, her mobile vibrated in her pocket. “Answer my phone. Someone’s calling.”

The name on the screen came as a surprise. “It’s Toudou-san.”

Umi frowned. Why would Erena be calling? They barely interacted outside of work. She pricked her ears, trying to listen in on Kotori’s conversation with her.

“You found Honoka-chan? Is she all right? Oh no… okay. We’ll be there soon. Thank you, Toudou-san!” Ending the call, Kotori turned to Umi. “Toudou-san and Yuuki-san stumbled upon Honoka-chan at Ueno Park! But she’s passed out-”

The car swerved but was swiftly brought back on track.

“Passed out? Shouldn’t they send her to the hospital?”

“Toudou-san said she’s fine… probably too tired from crying…”

“We’ll bring her back to my place. Can you call her mother? Tell her Honoka is having a sleepover with us.” Umi’s lips pressed together, forming a taut line. Although not one to condone lying, she had no choice but to make an exception.

* * *

Umi placed three cups of green tea on the low wooden table before kneeling down on one of the cushions, facing Erena and Anju. The ceiling fan whirred gently overhead, providing much needed relief in the humid night.

“Again, thank you for finding Honoka,” she said.

“It’s nothing. We just happened to bump into her there,” Erena replied, face and voice stoic as always.

“How is she now?” asked Anju.

“Sleeping. Kotori is with her so she should be fine.”

“That’s good.” Anju took a sip of the tea, her features lacking their usual genial spark. “We tried calling Tsubasa when we first found Honoka-san but she didn’t pick up.”

Umi straightened her back, resisting the urge to let out a sigh. “I’m afraid I no longer trust her to care about Honoka. Kotori and I went to her place earlier. She’s really… changed. We’ll watch over Honoka from now on. There’s no need to persuade Kira-san.”

The silence that ensued was awkward, to say the least. They were practically acknowledging the end of their friends’ relationship. Both sides knew there was nothing else they could do to salvage it.

“We’re sorry.” Erena suddenly bowed, startling Umi.

“What’re you saying? This has nothing to do with you.”

“No, she’s our friend and we failed to talk her round. It’s partly our fault. Please accept our apology,” insisted Anju.

Umi blinked, dumbfounded. But when she gave their relationship some thought, she realized it was similar to the one she had with Kotori and Honoka – they were family. She nodded. “I understand. Apology accepted.”

“Thank you, Umi-san.” A small smile finally made its way to Anju’s face. “We still care for Honoka-san, not just because of Tsubasa but because she’s our friend too, so please let us know if you need any help.”

Umi returned the smile. The A-RISE members weren’t as aloof as she had thought. Speaking of which, a question popped into her mind. “What’s going to happen to your team?”

Erena shrugged. “At the moment, we are floating members of the force, meaning we assist other units whenever necessary. A two-person team can’t accomplish much.”

“Not saying we’re incompetent but Tsubasa was a one-woman army. We’ve never beaten her in practice before, not even when we teamed up,” Anju chimed in, twirling her hair absentmindedly.

“Small, but crazy strong,” added Erena with a rare grin. “Man, I miss her.” Tilting her head, she caught Anju’s pointed gaze.

“We’re not giving up on her, right?”

“No way. I’m not gonna let that shorty waste her life away. She needs a good beating.”

Umi’s chest warmed at the pair’s interactions. Just like how she and Kotori would support Honoka unconditionally, these two went back a long way with Tsubasa too. “I can’t forgive Kira-san for what she’s done but I do hope your words can get through to her.”

“Thank you. We hope so too.”

A short while later, Erena and Anju left the Sonoda household, determined to make Tsubasa see the error of her ways. However, they never got the chance to because when they went to her apartment the next day, she was gone. A quick check revealed she had canceled her mobile phone line and withdrawn a huge sum from her savings account, making it possible to survive for a long period without using her bank cards. Well-versed in the methods the police employed to track people, she used the knowledge to her advantage and cut off all links that could lead them to her whereabouts.

In short, it was _sayounara_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Honoka :v
> 
> Thank you for reading! Feel free to let me know what you think in the comments. See you next time and take care!


	8. She is My Sin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letting go is the hardest part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise, surprise! This update didn’t take two months!

The figure on the bed curled into a fetal position, forehead creased with lines that belied her age and eyes squeezed shut behind matted ginger bangs. She tossed and turned. Fingers clawing the sheets, she was having anything but a peaceful rest.

“Don’t go… don’t…” Her murmurs grew as she began to thrash, kicking the blanket that had already pooled at her feet in a sad pile. The cursed name of the person who had ripped her heart to shreds left her lips like a mantra but no matter how much she called, her voice never reached her. In the naked light of her dreams, a cold, cruel smirk burned into her subconsciousness, forbidding her to forget. Then she screamed herself awake, her body soaked in perspiration despite the air-conditioner being on full blast. The puffy bags under her eyes served as a stubborn reminder of the turmoil that tormented her.

She threw her legs over the edge of the bed, raking her fingers through damp hair before casting a peek at the clock. Again, she had woken up before the alarm. Sighing softly, she made her way to the desk and picked up a red marker, adding another cross on the calendar. Dull blue eyes roamed over the numerous crosses, counting the number of days it had been since that person left without a trace.

“Two months nine days, huh.”

When she stared at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she hated the sight. Eyes that the person said were beautiful had been robbed of their light. Dreary and threaded with red, they no longer held the ability to cry.

A glint on her right earlobe caught her attention. She reached up and felt the tiny gemstone between her fingertips. In spite of all that had happened, it was the one thing that never lost its sparkle. The memories it represented made her wonder if she was a sadist – a willing carrier of a past that haunted her day and night. After she had been beaten – literally, by Umi – back to her senses, she did a lot of thinking. Questions, never-ending questions, plagued her. She couldn’t forgive, nor could she drop everything and move on. Till she got her answers, she would bear this heartache and keep hoping for the day they met again.

* * *

“Hey Umi!” Nico called in what should have been a hushed whisper. Next to her, Maki rolled her eyes while easily sidestepping a passerby. Unit 47 were prowling the streets of Shinjuku after receiving a tip-off that there were drug dealings in the area. So far, they had caught some small-time peddlers in the alleys and asked their uniformed colleagues to haul them back to the station for questioning while they continued on with the bars and clubs where the bigger fish were known to operate.

Umi turned back without slowing down. “What?”

“C’mere!”

Frowning, Umi glanced sideways at Honoka who remained at the front of the pack with Eli, oblivious to their exchange. Satisfied with the situation, Umi fell back a few steps to join Nico and Maki. “What is it?”

“Have you got the cake?” Nico asked, lowering her volume this time.

“Kotori bought it already.”

“You sure?”

“Of course. Kotori wouldn’t forget.”

“Fine, fine. Don’t need to get all defensive. Sheesh.”

“But do you think she’s in the mood to celebrate?” interjected Maki. “After all, she’s not quite over Tsuba-” Before she could finish her sentence, Nico slapped a hand over her mouth.

“Didn’t we agree not to mention that name?”

Maki pushed the offending hand off. “She can’t hear us. And your hand stinks of garlic.”

“I’m sorry if I have to prepare my own meals, Miss Wealthy Pants,” Nico huffed. “A brat like you’d never understand the pains of having to do her own chores.”

“Hey!”

“Stop it, you two. We’re on duty,” admonished Umi. “We’ll follow the plan: bring Honoka to the bar and surprise her there. She needs to know we’re here for her. Now, focus.”

“Okaaay…”

Umi ignored the lazy reply and jogged back to the front, sneaking a peek at her friend. Honoka’s sharp gaze roved over the sea of faces, as though searching for something – or someone – in particular, and it didn’t take a genius to guess who it was. But two months of nothing. Was there still hope? If Tsubasa didn’t want to be found, they wouldn’t stand a chance even if they exhausted their resources. What’s more, Supt. Minami had reminded them not to get distracted from their actual work. The stern warning had stopped Honoka from venturing out of Tokyo on a wild goose chase back then and in a way, Umi was thankful. If Honoka had done that, she probably would’ve worn herself out and collapsed in a remote corner somewhere in Japan. At the very least, and their only consolation, the immigration records showed Tsubasa did not leave the country.

“We’re going in.” Eli’s voice cut off her train of thoughts and Umi brought her attention back to their surroundings, mentally berating herself for not practicing what she preached. Thumping bass beats rattled her chest as she entered the club. Shoving aside a tipsy patron who stumbled into her path, she scanned the flashing dance floor. When her eyes passed over a cluster of loveseats in the corner, an odd sensation gripped her heart. In that fleeting moment, her skin crawled. Someone was watching them. But it vanished as soon as she felt it. Honoka’s stricken expression told her she had sensed it too.

“Police! On the lights! ID check! Men to the left, women to the right!” The team’s combined voices rose above the deafening music and the result was the expected cocktail of groans and curses.

“Party poopers…” someone grumbled as the lights came on.

Breaking away from the team, Honoka went straight to the right where a line of female clubgoers was starting to form. _She’s here! That feeling just now… it’s her!_

“Heads up so I can see you!” she barked, eyes wide and searching. She grabbed the faces of those who were slow to react, eliciting a few startled cries.

“Honoka.” Eli grabbed her shoulder. “Calm down. If not, someone might lodge a complaint.” But her subordinate continued with her careless behavior, looking more frantic by the second.

“Tsubasa! You’re here, aren’t you? Show yourself!” In her haste, she almost tripped over her own feet when she spun to face the men. “Stop hiding! I know you’re here!”

Murmurs began to grow among the crowd as some took out their phones and tried to record the start of a potential drama only to be stopped by the quick-thinking officers. Not wasting another second, Umi yanked Honoka back.

“Get a hold of yourself!” she hissed. “If she’s here, we’ll find her eventually.”

A tense moment passed before Honoka’s erratic breathing slowed as she recollected herself. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Umi gave her an assuring pat. “Just know that you’re not alone.”

Honoka hung her head, guilty for letting her emotions get the better of her. Umi was right. The exits had been sealed off; no one could leave until they were done. That said, the feeling she had earlier was gone. Had she imagined it? The urge to down a shot or two from the bar gnawed at her but she shook her head fiercely. After witnessing its wretched effects first-hand, she had sworn off alcohol, refusing to go down the same path Tsubasa did. Wordlessly, she sent apologetic looks to her teammates and returned to her task.

The raid ended with the arrests of a handful of drug offenders, mostly ecstasy and crystal meth users. As the night was still young, the team moved on to other nightspots.

“Honoka,” Eli began, “do you need a break?”

“Sorry about earlier. I’m good. I can continue.”

Eli frowned, catching sight of the way Honoka clutched and wrung the hem of her shirt, obviously not quite settled. “I can’t have you acting like that again. If you can’t control yourself, I’m going to have to take you off tonight’s operation.”

The others shot nervous glances at the two. On one hand, they were afraid Eli’s warning might crush Honoka’s rocky self-esteem. On the other, it was necessary to keep Honoka, who had already chalked up two complaints, from being suspended from duty.

“It won’t happen again, I promise.”

Sighing, Eli nodded. “I’ll hold you to it.” Many times, she had been told she was too soft on her subordinates; even Tsubasa had pointed that out when she was still an inspector. At the thought of that person, Eli still considered it peculiar how quickly everything had happened. It seemed almost surreal a person’s life could change just like that. Tsubasa had undeniably left a trail of emotional ruin in her wake, leaving Honoka to pick up the pieces. Eli studied Honoka’s wan face, hoping she wouldn’t snap again.

But fate had other plans.

Shortly after the team rounded a corner, Honoka froze in her tracks. She whirled around – left, right, front, back. Her teammates’ mouths were moving. The vehicles on the road were whizzing by. But the world had fallen silent in this bustling street. Palms growing stickier in the summer heat, she felt lightheaded all of a sudden. Bloodshot eyes darted about, scanning the sea of faces with the alertness of a hunted lamb. She noticed the worry cast her way but again, her comrades’ mouths were merely opening and closing like soundless puppets. Her feet began to move, haltingly at first, before breaking into a run. A cry sounded behind her but it became muffled among the wave of thoughts crashing through her mind.

_Brown hair, black eyes – not her. Green eyes, hooked nose – not her. Brunette, short bangs, green eyes – too tall._

None of them was Tsubasa! But she had to be nearby! The pressing sensation in the pit of her stomach intensified tenfold. With a swift turn, she entered the maze of dimly lit alleys, avoiding neglected crates and beams with the ease of an adult in a kid’s obstacle course.

And then she skidded to a stop. In the distance, illuminated only by the moonlight, stood two figures – one whom she couldn’t be more familiar with.

“Oops. Looks like I’ve been discovered. Took you a while,” the voice, smooth and collected as she remembered, spoke as its owner clutched a stack of bills she had just received. In her other hand, she grasped the gleaming bronze handle of a walking stick.

All this time Honoka had been yearning for this moment, yet when they finally met, words escaped her. Questions that she had been meaning to ask collided at the back of her throat, creating a bottleneck of chaos. As she struggled to regain her voice, she glanced over at the other presence and found him vaguely familiar. Wasn’t he one of the drug abusers Unit 47 apprehended last year? With that realization, her eyes traveled down to his hand which held a clear packet containing several colourful pills.

“W-What are you doing?” she blurted. It was obvious and even a novice would understand the situation but the question still tumbled out of her mouth. Rhythmic thuds accompanied by uneven footsteps approached her. They ended mere inches before her and she forced herself to stare at the unfazed face.

“It’s obvious, isn’t it? I’m selling something and he’s buying it from me. Or have you gone rusty, _Kousaka-san_?”

It burned to hear Tsubasa call her name so formally but what was she expecting? This was how it should be. She steeled herself and extended an open palm to the man. “I suspect you are in possession of illegal drugs. Please hand that over.”

“Whoa, that’s a serious accusation, officer!” Tsubasa exclaimed with the dramatics of a theater actress.

“ _Shut up_.” Honoka shot her a glare. “Police at work. Don’t interfere.”

Brows shooting up in mock shock, Tsubasa shrugged and stepped aside. “All right. Whatever you say, ma’am.” She turned to her companion and a knowing look passed between them. “Give it to her, Taka.”

“Here you go, ma’am,” Taka said. “It’s just candy made to look like drugs.”

Honoka examined the pills. Who was he kidding? They looked so much like the real thing. But if they were real, it meant…

“You can’t suspect that I sold drugs to him, can you? Surely you know me better than that. After all, we-”

“I said _shut up_ ,” Honoka growled. How was this infuriating blabbermouth Tsubasa? She exhaled sharply. “You two are suspected of carrying out an illegal drug deal. I need you to go back to the station with me for questioning.”

“Oh c’mon! Surely you know me better than that.”

Honoka’s brow twitched upon the whiny tone the old Tsubasa would never be caught using. “It’s precisely because I know too well what you’re capable of that I’m suspecting you! And this guy here is a repeated drug offender. I’m no longer the gullible fool who used to believe in you, _Kira-san_!”

If there was a flicker of pain in Tsubasa’s eyes, it faded before Honoka noticed it.

“So are you two going back with me willingly or do I need to handcuff you?” Honoka nearly shouted.

Again, Tsubasa and Taka traded _that_ look.

“We’re law-abiding citizens, ma’am. Of course we’ll go with you willingly.” Tsubasa then cupped Honoka’s cheek, dropping her voice to a low whisper. “If you want, I can even go home with you.”

Honoka tensed momentarily before slapping her hand away. “Don’t you touch me-”

A sudden flash of movement later, Tsubasa had flipped their positions and pinned her to the concrete wall. Honoka winced, trying to process what just happened.

“ _Isn’t she crippled? How can she move so fast?_ That must be what you’re thinking, right?” Tsubasa breathed, her mouth so close to Honoka’s ear that she could practically feel her smirk.

“H-How…?” Honoka croaked out from behind the arm crushing her throat. Writhing, she pushed back but Tsubasa wouldn’t budge.

“I didn’t spend the last two months doing nothing. As you said, I can still do great things. And I’ll make the force regret kicking me out.”

Honoka’s breath hitched. “What are you-”

“Hey you! Let go of her!” Eli’s voice rang through the narrow passage as the rest of Unit 47 ran behind her. When she got closer and made out who Honoka was with, she all but doubled over. “It’s you…”

Umi pushed past Eli and lunged for Tsubasa but had her arm deflected by the brunette’s solid wooden stick. She gasped, startled by the strength behind the block.

Pleased with the stupefied expressions on her former colleagues’ faces, Tsubasa released Honoka and raised her arms in an act of surrender. “Kousaka-san here suspects us of being involved in an illegal drug deal and wants to question us. So are we going? I don’t have all night.”

“What? Is that true, Honoka?” Nico asked.

A glum nod was all the team needed to accept the reality. After a thorough body search, they walked the two suspects to their vehicles.

“I never thought such a day would come, Kira-san,” Eli said as she fell into step with the limping woman.

“Neither did I but don’t say I didn’t warn you. You’ll just be wasting your time.”

“It’s okay. Unlike you, we have all the time in the world.”

* * *

It was just as Tsubasa said. They did not find any incriminating evidence against her and Taka. The pills turned out to be artificially flavored candy – which Tsubasa possessed more of and had the cheek to offer to the officers. Despite their utmost reluctance, they had to let them go.

“You might’ve got off this time but let me tell you, if you’re really breaking the law, we’ll find you and bring you back here,” Eli warned, eyes narrowed in a no-nonsense glare as they stood outside the interrogation room.

“Well, I won’t give you a reason to,” Tsubasa replied coolly. “Where’s Taka?”

“He left a few minutes ago.”

Tsubasa hummed and tipped her chin towards Honoka who was leaning against the wall behind Eli. “Can I request to have Kousaka-san walk me out?”

Eli blinked at the abrupt change in topic. “What are you planning? I’m not going to let you hurt her again.”

“Do you think I can do anything in the station?” Tsubasa challenged. “And I want to hear the answer from her.”

Honoka pushed herself off the wall. “I’ll go.”

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do it.” Eli peered at the younger woman, worry lacing her voice.

“I have questions.”

“Fine.” Eli relented. If having a talk could help Honoka close this chapter of her life and move on, it would be for the best. She turned to Tsubasa. “If you try anything funny, we’ll be on you in less than a minute.”

“Of course.”

* * *

The walk was quiet. At this late hour, there was scarcely another soul along the corridors. Hands stuffed in her pockets, Honoka tried to keep a straight face but she couldn’t help stealing glances at Tsubasa. Her bangs had grown past her eyebrows and were slightly swept to the side. In the past, she preferred to keep them short, regularly trimming them on her own. A practical move, but it also showed her confidence in her own looks. Not saying she lacked it now though; she had regained the imposing aura she owned before her injury but now, an unreadable air surrounded her too.

And her reflexes. Just what had she been up to after she disappeared? Had she mastered the use of the walking stick to compensate for her disability? Honoka’s gaze followed Tsubasa’s awkward gait. As she moved, her right leg lifted just enough to be dragged along with minimal friction. It was nothing out of the ordinary for someone with a knee injury.

“Don’t you have questions for me?” Tsubasa broke the silence.

Honoka jerked, but caught herself quickly. “I…” She mentally slapped her useless self when her voice refused to cooperate again. “You… Are you still drinking? No wait- that’s- dammit!” she cursed.

Tsubasa laughed – not a sneer, but a genuine laugh that Honoka hadn’t heard in ages and it gutted her when she realized how much she missed it.

“I don’t think that’s what you planned to ask but since you did, the answer is yes, but not as much.”

Honoka fought the squeeze in her chest. Tsubasa read her like a book, much like in the old days. And their exchange seemed almost… peaceful. Where was the woman who had reciprocated her love with nothing but aggression and betrayal? Honoka’s fingers tingled as she recalled the slap she gave Tsubasa the night they broke up. But this Tsubasa beside her, it was as though she had switched back to her old self.

_How dare she?_

But a part of Honoka wanted things to stay this way. Wasn’t this what she had been dreaming of? To go back to their happy times. To have Tsubasa back again. Suddenly, a familiar sting returned like a long lost friend, much to her annoyance. Rubbing her eyes, she willed herself not to let the tears gather.

“So what’s your actual question?” Tsubasa asked, looking straight ahead. Her query put a timely stop to Honoka’s wandering thoughts, allowing her to get back on track.

“Why did you disappear? Where did you go? Why are you mixing with people like Taka?” The questions leapt out before she could stop herself. But there was one which remained on the tip of her tongue: _Do you know how much you hurt me?_

Tsubasa chuckled. “That’s a lot of questions. Which should I answer first?”

“Sorry, I-” Honoka bit her tongue. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be Tsubasa, not her. Honoka’s fists shook. This sense of normalcy was too good to be true. She couldn’t fall for it.

Tsubasa’s walking stick thumped along without a break in momentum. “I’ve been to a few places. Nagano, Kyoto. Before I came back, I was in Osaka.”

Honoka frowned. “Why?”

“I-”

“Kira-san,” a voice interrupted, making both women turn their heads towards the source. So engrossed they had been that they didn’t hear the clicking of heels approaching from behind.

“Superintendent!” Honoka gave a cursory salute.

Supt. Minami nodded and stopped in front of Tsubasa. “I heard about you from the others.”

“So it seems.” Tsubasa’s grip on her walking aid tightened. “I’m sorry to disappoint you. Your people have nothing on me.”

“I hope that’s the case.” In what Honoka viewed as an out-of-character move, Supt. Minami stepped into Tsubasa’s personal space and stared down at her. “I know temptations are abound but _don’t do anything stupid_.”

“Of course not,” Tsubasa said through gritted teeth.

Honoka didn’t dare to blink, not comprehending her superior’s hostile attitude. As if one wrong move would spark a fight – as unlikely as it was, given Supt. Minami’s status and poise, but the tension was palpable.

“I’ve lost my mood to continue our talk, Kousaka-san,” Tsubasa said, breaking away from the staredown. “I’ll see myself out. Oh, and happy birthday.”

The gears in Honoka’s head came to a screeching halt. _Birthday? It’s my birthday today?_ With all the things going on, she had completely forgotten about it but Tsubasa…

“Wait!” she called out but Tsubasa never turned back.

And just like that, she walked out of Honoka’s life again.

* * *

The talk left Honoka with more questions than answers. Tsubasa’s schizophrenic attitude had thrown her off and she didn’t know what to think now. She returned to the office, wanting nothing more than to go home and flop down on her bed to sort out her conflicting emotions. But the moment she set foot in the room, her teammates flocked to her.

“Honoka!”

“What did she want with you?”

“Did she do anything?”

The exhausted sergeant brushed past them and plopped into her chair, burying her face in her hands. In response to their persistent queries, she simply shook her head. Thankfully, Eli got the hint.

“Let’s give Honoka some time to herself while we resume our discussion.”

The rest settled back down around the oval table, albeit reluctantly. Umi ran her finger along the metal rim of her canned green tea, sucking her inner cheek in thought. “I still think Kira-san is involved in something illegal. I mean why would she be selling candy to a grown man in a place like that? And candies don’t cost 4000 yen apiece. She must have hidden the real drugs somewhere,” she said.

“But we frisked her and Taka and found nothing except for more candy,” retorted Nico.

“Don’t forget what she said. She wants the force to regret sacking her.”

“You think she’s back for revenge?” Maki raised a questioning brow.

Umi nodded. “That’s one. And she wants to prove herself. Illegal dealings are the fastest way to get rich and if she is selling drugs, she must have connections with drug suppliers, or worse, organizations like the Blue Men. If she works her way up a big one, she’ll gain enough power to make things difficult for the police.”

“Whoa, that’s pushing it, isn’t it?” Nico shot up, aghast that Umi would suggest something so farfetched. “Tsubasa was one of us after all. She knows the consequences of being caught.”

“Your inner fangirl is showing,” Maki remarked offhandedly.

“W-What? N-No way! I’m just stating the facts!”

“I’m with Umi on this,” Eli cut in and gestured for Nico to sit down. “Kira-san does appear to be challenging us. She said she won’t give us a reason to arrest her which could imply that she believes in her ability to escape our detection.”

“There’s something I’ve been wondering about,” Umi continued. “Let’s think back to the time she was kidnapped by the Blue Men. Don’t you think it’s strange they didn’t kill her when they had every reason to? Giving her a chance, no matter how small, to escape that situation would do them no good if they slipped up somewhere and made it possible for her to identify them afterwards.”

The scowl on Nico’s face deepened. “Are you saying she betrayed us?”

“She could’ve struck up a deal with them while she was held hostage so that they wouldn’t kill her.”

“But how do you explain the bomb? It was real,” Maki pointed out.

Umi leant back in her seat, trying to think of a plausible explanation. “The bomb could be real but the timer could be fake. Perhaps even if the time ran out and regardless which wire was cut, it wouldn’t have exploded. It only blew up because Watanabe-san shot it.”

“That’s quite a wild guess,” Eli noted. “Kira-san was a hardened law enforcer. It’s hard to believe she would do that, though we can’t rule out the possibility. It was her word against nobody’s with regard to the kidnapping. But what we can be sure is she’s currently involved in something shady and it’s worth investigating. We’ll dig up more clues along the way. Honoka,” she called the ginger, knowing that she had been listening to their discussion, “what do you think?”

Honoka was having a splitting headache. Umi had brought up interesting points. On top of that, Tsubasa had in fact hinted at revenge on the force. But Tsubasa’s behaviour just now puzzled her to no end. It felt too real. So real that she almost believed her girlfriend was back.

Then she remembered what she said to Tsubasa: _I’m no longer the gullible fool._

She couldn’t be so trusting, not anymore.

“We should investigate her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not taking my usual break after posting the previous chapter really helped to keep the momentum going. A shout-out to xcamay for igniting the fire in me to write on! Thanks!
> 
> As always, feel free to let me know what you think in the comments. Thank you for reading and have a great day! See you next time!


	9. Enter the Snow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsubasa delves deeper into the underworld.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Real life has been pretty eventful lately. I went for a few job interviews and finally landed myself a job at a great company! In between all the running around, I tried to squeeze in as much writing as I could and managed to get this update up within a month of the last one. Let's find out what Tsubasa is up to, shall we?

In the washroom of one of the busiest nightclubs in Roppongi, Tsubasa – masked and hooded – hobbled past the row of urinals. Ignoring the wasted man splashing yellow pee all over the wall, she slipped into one of the stalls and locked the door. The stench easily permeated her thin mask, almost causing a gag reflex. Unscrewing the derby handle of her walking stick, she retrieved a stick of crystal meth from the hollow space within, raised the lid of the toilet tank, and stuck the packet on its underside. Then she pushed the flush button for good measure before exiting the stall and subsequently, the club from the backdoor. Her fingers tapped and slid across her phone screen, scrolling through the long list of contacts till ‘Taka’ appeared.

**_“It’s there.”_ **

Not giving the message a second glance, she hit the ‘send’ button.

* * *

She threaded with small, careful steps on the sloping river bank, her shoes sinking slightly in the moist soil. The intense cries of cicadas filled her ears while a plop and a splash sounded somewhere. Fish? Frog? She couldn’t care less. All she focused on was the faint but familiar outline of her supplier under the bridge. Swishing through the tall grass, she made her way to him in the shrouded security of the shadows.

“You’re early,” he noted.

“I don’t fuck around when it involves money. What did your boss say about my request?” she asked.

He chucked a black duffel bag towards her which she caught deftly. “Boss is pleased with your performance. But if you want to get more high quality goods, you have to do something for the organization.”

Tsubasa estimated the contents of the bag weighed about three kilograms. Pulling back the zipper, she was greeted by six packets of white powder. Her eyes widened. If they were what she thought, she would be holding an equivalent of over 200 million yen.

“Top grade H. 100 percent pure stuff. Deliver this to the buyer tomorrow night.”

“Where?”

“You’ll find out. If you complete the deal, Boss will agree to your request.”

She mulled over his words. There must be a catch somewhere. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll make off with this stash?”

“Try it and your body will never be found. You know how it works.”

She closed the bag and slung it across her torso. “Just kidding. I’ll wait for your instructions tomorrow.”

“Good.” He turned but paused after a step. “No hiccups, understand?”

“Of course.” She watched him leave, an ominous gloom eating at her guts. Getting a street dealer like her to handle a deal of such magnitude was unheard of. She clutched the bag. It represented a long awaited chance, but it also weighed her down like a tombstone. Would she get to see the sunrise after tomorrow?

* * *

“Ayase.”

Two shadows loomed over Eli and she looked up from her computer, not entirely surprised to find Erena and Anju at Unit 47’s office.

“Have you found out anything about Tsubasa?” Erena continued.

“Is she really dabbling in drugs?” Anju asked.

“We’re not sure yet but the chances are very high. We’ve seen her mingling with other suspected drug dealers but,” Eli sighed, “she was always clean. It’s like she had anticipated us. She’s also not easy to track. Honoka has checked out her old apartment but it seems untouched since the time she disappeared. She’s probably staying somewhere else at the moment.” Shooting them a half-smile, she added, “I could really use your help.”

At that, the pair exchanged glances which oozed helplessness – a rare sight, Eli noted.

“We asked Supt. Minami if we could join you but she said nothing’s confirmed yet so it’d be a waste of manpower,” said Anju.

Eli held back a second sigh and nodded instead. “I can understand the higher-ups’ concerns. We do have many cases that require attention.”

“It’s ridiculous. I can’t believe they’re taking this so lightly,” Erena growled. “If she’s really going down the wrong path, we should stop her before it’s too late!”

“Erena…” Sensing her partner’s rising anger, Anju was quick to grab her trembling fist.

“That idiot… Revenge’s not worth it…”

Anju squeezed Erena’s hand, sharing the exact pain. The three of them had been through thick and thin since their cadet days. They were bold and ambitious, especially Tsubasa who would never settle for second best. She was the last person anyone would’ve expected to stray. “How’s Honoka-san taking it?” Anju asked.

Eli turned to face the empty desk across the room. “As you can see, she’s out trying to track down Kira-san again. Like you, she also wants to stop her before she falls too deep.”

“I see,” Anju said softly. “She still cares for Tsubasa, doesn’t she?”

“I guess. Even if she can’t forgive Kira-san, she’s not so heartless to stand by and do nothing while Kira-san goes down the wrong path.” Eli turned back to them. “I’ll let you know once I’ve news.”

“We’ll be counting on you then.”

* * *

Eyes that could rival an eagle’s flitted about, scrutinizing every street corner for signs of abnormality. An uncomfortable film of sweat stuck to Tsubasa like a second layer of skin, doing its best to distract her. But she wouldn’t allow it. Crossing the one-way street as swiftly as she could, she glanced around before she rounded the perimeter of the whitewashed building to its rear compound. This should be it. She inhaled deeply, catching her breath. Her supplier had led her on a merry chase to two fake locations previously. By now, she was almost certain they were testing her for any ties to the police.

Her phone remained still – no more messages telling her to move to another place. As she waited, she combed the area for escape points, just in case. Totally fenced in and complete with horizontal barbed wire at the top, she didn’t have a lot of options. Climbing over was the only way. Quickly getting to work, she pushed the dumpster up against the fence and tested its lid. A tad flimsy but it’d do.

_Good. All set._

And just in time too. Three men whom she had never seen before turned into the yard. Thick gold chains and popped up collars. She fought the urge to scoff. Could they be anymore tacky?

The oldest-looking of the bunch stepped forward. “Kira, I presume?” he said with a lit cigarette between his teeth.

The sweet smile that graced her features revealed nothing about her exact thoughts. “And you must be Ando. I have what you want but show me the money first.”

He snapped his fingers, cuing the man on his left to open an aluminium briefcase to reveal neatly arranged stacks of cash.

“Good.” She unzipped her bag, watching intently as Ando picked up a pack and brought it up to his face. Her fingers tensed around the curved handle of her crook cane – her preferred partner tonight. With its large hook and solid oak body, it was perfect for fighting.

And her foresight didn’t fail her.

In a split second, the bag was snatched out of her grasp while the other men charged forward. Wrist snapping, she struck Ando in the back of the knees as he turned, making him crash to the ground. The goods scattered. She drove her cane down on his outstretched hand.

“N-No!” Fear flooded his bulging eyes.

But she ignored his plea and pushed down. Hard. The scream that followed was akin to a victory tune. No time to celebrate though. She leant back just as a briefcase whooshed past her head. Dropping her cane, she grabbed his attacking arm and yanked him in, almost laughing at his shocked face. She delivered a knee strike to his gut, then an elbow jab in the head to make sure he stayed down.

_One more to go._

She spun around to deflect a punch. Diving down, she grabbed her staff and swept it in a wide arc, knocking the third guy off his feet. Taking advantage of his dazed state, she ended the fight with a smash to the face. She winced upon the loud crack. “You needed a new nose anyway,” she said to the limp figure before returning to where Ando lay whimpering and writhing, amazed by his pathetic pain tolerance. Smacking his uninjured hand away from the heroin packets, she stuffed them into the bag.

“You won’t get away with this,” he spat.

“You were the one who tried to be funny,” she shot back.

But he only grinned. For a short moment, the air went deathly silent, reminiscent of the calm before the storm. The hair on Tsubasa’s nape prickled as her senses went on high alert. She must’ve missed something. Then all hell broke loose when a swarm of over ten thugs rushed into the rear compound, each wielding a weapon of sorts – knives, rods, glass bottles.

_An ambush!_

Breaking for her escape route, Tsubasa flung the bag and cane over the fence and heaved herself atop the dumpster. She pounced, latching onto the topmost wire, making sure to avoid the twisted spikes. Using the sheer strength of her arms, she hoisted herself up. A glance at the incoming horde of blood-crazed pursuers prompted her to make the leap.

“Ugh!” Pain exploded in her right knee even though doing a tuck and roll dispersed most of the impact. For a few long seconds, she couldn’t move. To her relief, things went according to plan; a timely thunk and startled yelps behind confirmed that the dumpster’s lid had collapsed under the men’s weight. Snatching up the cane and bag, she limped out to the main road. Every step felt like cast iron hammering away at her knee. Sweat rolled freely down her forehead. After passing a few streets, she sighted her savior – a row of recycling bins. Instinctively, she dumped the bag into the middle one and made a call to her supplier.

“Ando didn’t honor the deal and his men are chasing me now!”

**_“What about the H?”_ **

Tsubasa looked around for the street sign. “In a recycling bin in Shibaura, 2 Chome. There’s a Lawson nearby. Go get it while I lead them away.”

And she did just that – until the men cornered her in an alley. They entered the narrow passage from both ends almost simultaneously, squashing any chance of escape.

“Hey, she doesn’t have the bag!”

“Tell us where it is and we won’t hurt you.”

The men closed in, brandishing their weapons. Tsubasa trained her eyes on them, noting their poor fighting stances. A bunch of hooligans. She could probably take out half the squad but – she cursed her leg – she wouldn’t last in a prolonged fight. However, giving up wasn’t a choice. She had worked so hard to get the organization to notice her. If she betrayed them now, not just her efforts would be in vain but her head would literally be on the chopping block too.

Either way, it was fight or die.

“I’m sorry but I seem to have lost my memory.” She flashed an innocent smile while she leaned her cane against the wall, freeing her hands.

“You asked for it, bitch. Get her!”

Not batting an eye, Tsubasa pulled out the throwing knives strapped to her thighs and made quick work of the rash idiots leading the pack. Four down! The rest scrambled to a stop, fear shackling their feet. In a laughable display of cowardice, they opted to encircle her while she stood her ground, cane back in her grip.

“Don’t you want to know where it is?” Her poker face was but a mask; she knew the odds were not in her favor. Nine men left. If they attacked all at once, she could kiss this world goodbye.

_No way. Can’t die now._

Tsubasa gritted her teeth. Eyes flaring with renewed resolve, she thrust her cane towards the nearest person and flipped it back to jab the one sneaking up behind. Like a dance, she fought with precise – almost graceful – hits, taking them out one after another in quick succession. At times, her cane twirled like a massive fan blade, smacking anyone in its path; other times, it shot out in decisive and powerful stabs that would make the national fencing team proud.

“Got you!” Someone grabbed her from the back. Without pause, she jammed the cane’s pointed handle into the nerve between his thumb and index finger, forcing him to let go. She whipped around, hooked his neck in and pounded his face. But she missed the bottle swinging towards her till it was too late.

**SMASH!**

Pain seared through her right arm. Her cane dropped. She staggered. A fist flew into her jaw and she slammed against unforgiving concrete, stars filling her vision.

“Now tell us where it is.”

“Ne… ver…” Her defiance was met with brutal kicks to her small frame. She clenched her jaw, refusing to cry out. Then all air fled her lungs when someone jumped onto her back and grabbed her hair.

“Say it!”

She snorted.

Three solid punches to her head later, all she heard was ringing in her ears – and her own voice telling her she was better off dead if she sustained brain damage after this.

“That’s enough,” a voice – commanding and unhurried – cut in.

Tsubasa cracked open an eye, trying to regain her bearings. She knew that voice. Through her hazy vision, she spotted her supplier strolling towards them with the highly sought-after bag in his possession. To her bewilderment, the others showed nary a hint of shock as though they had expected him. They parted to let him pass, watching with anticipation. Clearly, she had been left out of the loop.

“You’ve passed the test,” he said.

She blinked.

“Boss wants to meet you. Come with me.”

Just like that, her head was unceremoniously released to meet the ground. She groaned and rolled over to take in huge gulps of air, filling up her aching chest. Somehow, she had lived to see another day.

And somehow, she was one step closer to her goal.

* * *

The place smelled strongly of disinfectant, not unlike a hospital. The distinct clinking of metallic items added to her suspicions. Just where was she? A blindfold had been slapped over her eyes after she boarded the vehicle outside the alley, rendering her clueless about her current whereabouts.

Without warning, she was shoved into a chair, and her blindfold stripped off. The brilliant white light stabbed her eyes. She bit back a grimace, unwilling to let on any signs of weakness.

“You’re just as the rumors say. Proud… and hardy like a cockroach.”

 _A woman?_ Tsubasa squinted, willing herself to focus on the blurry figure before her. When her vision finally adjusted to her surroundings, she found herself staring at a woman who looked about her age. Impeccably dressed in a fitting black sleeveless blouse and white pleated skirt, she wouldn’t look out of place in an office crowd. But her hairstyle – dark purplish hair tied up in a side ponytail – hinted at her youthfulness.

“Welcome to Saint Snow,” she spoke with an unexpectedly raspy voice. “I’m Kazuno Seira.”

“So you’re the boss?” Tsubasa asked as she did a quick scan of the room. Pure white walls with not a single speck, the place appeared as sterile as it smelled. She was sitting in something that resembled a dental chair and to her right was a stainless steel trolley with an array of surgical instruments. That explained the clinking sounds earlier. Tsubasa peeked past Seira at where another woman stood. While she appeared younger, her expression was one of stoic watchfulness as her upturned eyes bored holes into Tsubasa. _A bodyguard? No, they look too alike. Sisters?_

“Yes.” Seira walked towards her, calf-high boots clicking against the floor. Her dark pink eyes narrowed at Tsubasa’s battered state. “I apologize for your injuries. But you also did quite a number on my men so we’re even.” She pressed a button on the chair’s arm.

“What’re you doing?” Tsubasa shot up when the chair reclined, wary of the vulnerable position she was being put in.

“Relax.” Seira pushed her back. “I’m going to patch you up. As a welcome gift to the organization.”

Tsubasa frowned. “I didn’t ask to join. I only want better goods to sell.”

“I know talent when I see it.” Seira put on a pair of latex gloves before soaking a cotton ball with a solution. “My men drove you to a corner but you protected the location of the goods to the end. And for a cripple, you put up an impressive fight, so I want you to work for me.” She pressed the cotton ball to the gaping cuts on Tsubasa’s arm and instantly, Tsubasa hissed, throwing her head back from the sharp sting. Seira hummed. “It’s a pretty deep one. You need stitches.”

Tsubasa breathed heavily. “What’s in it for me?”

Seira giggled at Tsubasa’s straightforwardness. “You get to work for the most successful and feared organization in the region. That means money and power.”

Tsubasa arched a brow. “As far as I know, Saint Snow is a rather new name in Tokyo.”

“As you said, it’s a name.” The smile on Seira’s face was coy, yet telling. She filled up a syringe, motions fluid with practiced ease. If Tsubasa didn’t know better, she would have thought Seira was a doctor. “Being a mere dealer on the streets can only earn you that much. But if you join me, I can promise you a lot more – enough for you to take revenge on the police that kicked you out. Isn’t that what you want, former Inspector Kira?”

It was Tsubasa’s turn to laugh. “So you know my background. And you trust me?”

“Everyone in the underworld knows you left on a bad note. But after tonight, I’m convinced the police were idiots to let you go. You still have what it takes: brains, guts, loyalty. I need someone like you. So what do you say? It’s not every day I invite someone personally.”

Tsubasa couldn’t help her growing smirk as she locked eyes with Seira. “Since you put it that way, I’ve no reason to say no.”

“It’s a deal then.”

* * *

The organization obviously didn’t trust her fully – yet.

After Seira had stitched her up and promised to contact her again, she was blindfolded once more and led out of the room by her supplier who drove her back to where he picked her up from. From there, she made her way ‘home’.

The lights flickered to life in the cramped and tiny apartment. Tsubasa limped straight to the kitchenette and grabbed the bottle of painkillers from the counter. Hands trembling from the intense pain shooting up from her knee, a simple action such as unscrewing the cap took a great deal of effort. She popped two tablets and swallowed them without water. Ugh. Regret hit her as they dug their way down her throat. Wincing, she moved further into the apartment. Her bed called out to her with its soft mattress but she ignored it, choosing to go to her desk and retrieve an old mobile phone from the drawer. She switched it on and typed a short message.

**_“I’m in.”_ **

Entering a number she had memorized by heart, she sent out the text. Her phone buzzed a few minutes later with a reply.

**_“I’ll give you a ride sometime soon.”_ **

Tsubasa deleted the chat history and switched off the phone. As she leant back in her chair, a thought occurred to her. She rolled up her right sleeve and examined her sutured wound. The stitches ran neatly across her skin, a feat accomplished only by a trained professional. Odd. What she had observed of Kazuno Seira defied the general profile of a mob boss. How did she get to the top at her age and have the members at her beck and call? What about that other woman?

Tsubasa shook her head. No amount of thinking would help now. She just needed to get closer to Seira and the answers would reveal themselves. Deciding to call it a night, she reached for the underside of the open drawer, felt around the rough wooden surface until her fingers touched something smooth. With a little tug, she plucked off a dog-eared photo. The smiling faces in it couldn’t be more any more familiar. One was herself and the other, the reason she was even alive right now. Like clockwork, her chest squeezed. How many times had she robbed the smile from that beautiful face? All the cruel things she had said and done to the sweetest person she ever knew flooded her consciousness in the form of a tidal wave. On some nights, they came so close to drowning her and the knife by her bed seemed especially tempting. But every time she pressed the blade against her wrist, fear stopped her.

Not the fear of death. But the fear of not ever seeing her again.

Lying down on the bed, she cradled the picture to her chest and felt heat pool beneath her eyelids. It could never replace the real thing. _Never._ The knot in her throat swelled.

_Honoka, Honoka, Honoka…_

She brought an arm over her eyes but it didn’t stop the tears from leaking through.

_Don’t give up on me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going with the romaji names of the Kazuno sisters instead of Sarah and Leah because Seira and Ria have a nicer ring to them. 
> 
> As mentioned in the beginning notes, I'll be starting a new full-time job probably some time in early August so updates might take longer but you can rest assured that I'll finish this story. As the plot's all planned out, I've no excuse to abandon this fic. I hope you awesome people will stay with me because TsubaHono's story is not over yet!
> 
> Thank you for reading and have a great day! See you next time! ^_^


	10. The Great Pretenders

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fond memories, an old acquaintance, and an ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a week. I got into a minor car accident two nights ago but thankfully, no one was hurt. If not, you wouldn't be seeing this chapter now, LOL.

_“Thank you Sergeant Kira, for that very inspiring presentation. Your sharing resonated deeply with the recruits. I could see it in their eyes, how in awe they were. Youngsters nowadays are not interested in listening to us old folks. They relate better to someone their age. With you as a role model, their drive and dedication to serving the community and upholding justice will only go up.”_

_“You speak too highly of me, sir.” Tsubasa smiled politely at the head of the police academy. “It’s my pleasure to impart my knowledge to the next generation of officers. I humbly thank you for giving this opportunity.” She bowed. When she rose, she received a firm pat on her shoulder and a deep chuckle from the middle-aged man._

_“You have a bright future ahead. Continue to do us proud and serve the people of Tokyo well.”_

_“Yes, sir. You have my word.”_

_After the brief exchange, Tsubasa made her way to the academy’s cafeteria. Her stomach came close to growling several times during the presentation. Skipping lunch to rush to the academy from the headquarters was not her choice, unfortunately. She walked through the spacious corridors, feeling a sense of nostalgia. Everything had remained the same since she graduated at the top of her batch. She remembered the layout like she had never left and soon, she reached her destination. She went straight for the serving area, hoping there was still food left – hell, she would even settle for scraps._

_“I’m sorry. The last set lunch has been taken by that person.” The cafeteria staff pointed to a lone figure seated among the empty tables._

_Instead of being disappointed, Tsubasa felt amusement tugging her lips when she noticed how the young woman was hunched over her tray, wolfing down the food like she hadn’t eaten in days._

_“I still have some coleslaw left if you don’t mind,” the staff offered, bringing Tsubasa’s attention back._

_“I’ll take it. And an iced coffee, please.”_

_Tsubasa took her tray and walked towards the unknown individual who, too preoccupied with shoveling rice into her mouth, had failed to notice Tsubasa’s presence. “Hi, may I sit here?” Her amusement only grew when the ginger peered up with bright blue eyes, looked around at the sea of vacant tables in confusion, before turning back to Tsubasa. Then she broke into a large food-filled grin._

_“Shure. Pweash shit.”_

_Now, Tsubasa would usually recoil in utter disgust when someone talked with their mouth full – and did she just tell her to shit? The audacity! But Tsubasa found herself curbing the urge to bowl over in laughter more than anything. She was often in the presence of pretty girls – heck, one of her best friends was an absolute stunner – but it was the first time she was so taken by one. Though not a jaw-dropping beauty, this girl was undeniably cute with her girl-next-door charm and unsuspecting nature. Tsubasa had to mentally pinch herself to snap out of her spellbound state._

_“Thanks,” she said and sat across the woman._

_“Wow, you must really love veggies!”_

_Tsubasa glanced down at her ridiculous mountain of coleslaw. Ah, she could see why her new acquaintance made that assumption. “Not exactly. I love meat just as much as the next person but this is all that’s left at this hour.”_

_The woman’s hand froze as she was about to devour another mouthful of rice. She looked at her own tray, brows furrowed. The next thing Tsubasa knew, the woman was transferring all her uneaten teriyaki chicken to her plate. Was she for real?_

_“You must eat! If you don’t, you can’t survive the crazy training!”_

_Tsubasa stared. Clearly, she thought Tsubasa was a fellow recruit. Did she not notice Tsubasa was in plain clothes as opposed to the academy’s grey physical training T-shirt? If that was the case, Tsubasa worried for the future of the force. “Well, um, thanks. Are you sure that’s enough for you?”_

_“I’m fine.” The woman leaned in with a hand cupping her mouth and whispered, “I’ve some bread rolls in the dorm. Don’t tell anyone, ’kay?”_

_Her overly serious face earned a snicker from Tsubasa. “Sure. You can trust me.” There was something about this person that made Tsubasa want to go along with everything she said. They ate in silence for a while before Tsubasa asked something that had been on her mind since the start. “Say, why are you having lunch at this hour?”_

_The woman’s face pinked. “I overslept this morning so I had to run laps and clean the washrooms.” She poked at her coleslaw, cheeks puffed. “Because of that I missed the talk by that sergeant. I think her name’s Kira Tsu-something.”_

_“Tsubasa. Kira Tsubasa,” Tsubasa filled in the clueless woman, deciding to play along. “That’s a pity, isn’t it?”_

_“Yeah! There’s air-con in the auditorium!”_

_Tsubasa’s smile faltered. “Air-con?”_

_“That’s right! It’s so hot in summer! The auditorium’s the only place with air-con!”_

_“… Right.” Tsubasa wondered if she should laugh or cry but one thing was certain – the way the girl’s already brilliant eyes lit up when she talked was a sight Tsubasa wanted to see again. Sadly, time flew by and she had to return to the headquarters. Finishing her last sip of coffee, she stood, tray in hand. “Thanks for the food and your lovely company.”_

_“You’re welcome!”_

_Tsubasa’s heart skipped. Never had she been bestowed a more breath-taking smile – even if it included a piece of carrot stuck between the girl’s teeth. “Can I get your name?”_

_“Kousaka Honoka! You can call me Honoka!”_

_Her eagerness reminded Tsubasa of a puppy that had just been gifted a rubber ball._

_“What about you?” Honoka threw the question back at her._

_Tsubasa grinned. “Sergeant Kira Tsubasa at your service.”_

_There was a pause before Honoka’s expression changed from one of anticipation to horror. “S-Sergeant Ki-Ki-Kira?!”_

_Tsubasa tried her darnest to keep a straight face. “It’s been nice talking to you, Honoka-san. Try not to miss my presentation next time, all right?” Shooting the dumbfounded recruit a wink, she left the table._

_Somewhere in the background, Honoka’s fork clattered to the floor.  
_

* * *

Tsubasa’s eyes snapped open. She blinked, shut her eyes for a few seconds, and opened them again. The dreary, bare ceiling of her room stared back at her. She sighed. A dream? Or a replay of her memories? Probably the latter – the details were too accurate. She sat up on her bed and immediately regretted it. Throbbing pain seized every inch of her back and stomach. She pulled up her shirt, unsurprised to see purple welts spread over large areas of skin. Those underlings really didn’t hold back on their kicks last night. Groaning, she pushed herself to a standing position. Something dropped and when she saw what it was, she cursed. How could she have forgotten? Bending down despite her body’s protest, she picked up the photograph and dusted it with feather-light strokes.

“Sorry, Honoka.” Her fingers lingered on the picture while her stupid mind imagined that carefree voice telling her ‘it’s okay’ because Honoka was always forgiving. She never stayed mad for long. But Tsubasa had crossed the line one too many times. Things were not okay now, and they might never be. Forcing herself to quash the rise of needless self-pity, she stuck the photo back under the drawer and headed for the shower.

The dried tear tracks had to be rinsed off after all.

* * *

“Get in.”

Tsubasa slipped into the front passenger seat of her supplier’s car and waited expectantly. When he said nothing and stepped on the gas pedal, she asked, “No blindfold?”

“Boss said to burn the route into your mind.”

Tsubasa turned her attention to the road, trying to process the strange instruction. Just yesterday, the organization did not trust her with the location of their base – well, she guessed it was their base. She bit her lip as the surroundings whizzed by, recognizing streets and landmarks easily after years of chasing criminals all over Tokyo. But good things never come free. There must be a catch somewhere. The possibility of another test worried her, especially if it meant getting thrashed again.

In slightly under an hour, they arrived at a nondescript grey building situated in the north of the city. The interior appeared ordinary until they entered the elevator. Her supplier brought his face toward a small square on the button panel and did an iris scan. A crisp ding and a green flash of light later, the elevator began moving down to Tsubasa’s surprise. People not in the know would never have guessed there was a basement in the building as there were only buttons for ground level and above. When the doors opened, she was struck by the same overpowering smell of disinfectant. It wasn’t that she disliked it; in fact, a hygienic environment was something she treasured given how itinerant her life had been the past few months. She followed her supplier down the corridor that was illuminated to the point it was almost white, passing mysterious metal doors secured with iris scanners similar to the one in the lift. Finally, they stopped near the end of the corridor.

“Hi again,” Seira’s husky voice greeted once the door opened.

Play it cool, Tsubasa told herself. Her lips curved. “Hi.”

“Take a seat.” Seira gestured to the chair opposite hers. “How’s your wound?”

“Couldn’t be better.” Tsubasa sat down, mentally taking note of the room which resembled a modern office with its minimalist design, yet it also sported a strangely out-of-place traditional Japanese element in the form of a sword hung on the wall behind Seira. And above the intricately crafted weapon was a large framed photograph of four people. She recognised two of them – one being Seira while the other was the quiet woman from yesterday but they looked much younger in the picture, likely in their preteens. Then there were two adults. The woman emitted a motherly gentleness with her demure smile and soft pink eyes. Seated on her left, the man offset her aura with his closely cropped grey hair and hard scowl etched into leathery skin, appearing much older in age.

“That’s my family. You’ve met Ria yesterday. She’s my younger sister,” Seira introduced. “Have you remembered the way to get here?”

“Of course. It’s all here.” Tsubasa tapped her head. “But why?”

A smirk graced Seira’s face. “Cutting the chase again. I like that about you. I’ll go straight to the point then. Jiro,” she called out to Tsubasa’s supplier, “ask Ria to bring _him_ in.”

“Yes, Seira-sama.” Jiro bowed and left the room.

Tsubasa narrowed her eyes. “Him?”

“A person you’ll never forget. But before that…” Seira stood suddenly, eyes fixed on Tsubasa as she rounded the desk to her side, footsteps measured. “Stand up.”

It was the kind of tone Tsubasa couldn’t ignore. She rose and held her breath when Seira laid a hand on her shoulder, slowly and purposefully snaking down her back, around her waist, and then up to her chest. The touch was firm, prodding even, and she was way too close for comfort. Tsubasa’s stomach tightened. She caught a strong whiff of antiseptic on Seira. Just how much of a cleanliness freak was she? Not forgetting her current situation, she scanned the desk and zeroed in on the snowflake paperweight. Solid crystal with points sharp enough to pierce skin.

“What are you looking at?”

Tsubasa was quick to bring back her smile. Maintaining her calm façade, she replied, “Just admiring your paperweight. The design is one of a kind.”

“You’ve got a sharp eye.” Seira pressed herself against her, sliding her hands up to Tsubasa’s neck, smoothing over her shirt collar and squeezing lightly. “And good taste. No two snowflakes are the same and that applies to this design too. It’s the only one in the world.”

Tsubasa stiffened when Seira’s warm breath caressed her ear. Though sensual, the other woman’s actions reeked of unpredictability. Those hands were capable of twisting her neck or crushing her windpipe. Or maybe there was a blade hidden between her fingers, just waiting for the right moment to strike. One could never tell with people from the underworld; they lived by their own rules. Granted, Tsubasa could fight back if it came down to it, but she didn’t believe she could get out alive. Who knew how many men were around?

Seira stepped back. “Take off your shirt.”

Tsubasa would’ve shot her an incredulous stare if not for her well-honed acting skills. “So you swing this way too.” She winked, masking her shock while throwing the bait and hoping for Seira to fall for it. It wouldn’t hurt to find out more about her; any and every detail could turn out useful in the future. She began working on her shirt buttons, all the while keeping her eyes on Seira. She shuddered when the garment came off. The temperature in the room was lower than she’d thought.

“You’re a charming person, but…”

 _Click_.

Tsubasa jerked back when she found herself staring down the barrel of a pistol. Throat dry, she tried unsuccessfully to swallow. _Shit._

“Hey, c’mon, I was just joking.” She raised her hands and offered the most apologetic smile she could manage. A bead of sweat rolled down her temple.

Seira kept the gun locked on her. “You’re capable and I want your talent but you were also a part of the police.” She nudged the steel muzzle against her forehead, hard enough to leave a mark. “If I ever find out you’re still working for them, I’ll kill you.”

“You have nothing to worry about. I hate them – cross my heart.”

Seira curled her finger over the trigger. “It’d better be that way. This won’t be the last spot check so don’t let me find anything that shouldn’t be here on you.” A few tense seconds passed as her gaze pierced long and hard into Tsubasa’s. Then, like the flip of a switch, she relaxed her posture, a coy smile returning. “It’d be a pity to lose such a handsome face after all.” She patted Tsubasa’s cheek, her fingers lingering a tad longer than necessary. “Now wear your shirt.”

Tsubasa was only too glad to comply. Being found half-naked and dead was the last thing she wanted her already ruined reputation to be associated with. This sense of helplessness sucked. Once she was done buttoning up, the door flew open and in stumbled a man flanked by Ria and Jiro.

“Seira-sama! I’m sorry! Please don’t kill me!” Arms tied behind his back, he wriggled onto his knees.

If Tsubasa thought nothing else could rattle her, she was dead wrong. Time froze with the new arrival. She didn’t even need to look at his face. His gruff voice was one she would never forget.

He who taunted and hit her mercilessly when she was abducted.

He who chopped off her finger with sick glee.

He who belonged to the Blue Men.

She turned to Seira, eyes wide. “You…”

“You’ve figured it out, right.” It wasn’t a question. “We’re the Blue Men, or perhaps I should say the Blue Men is Saint Snow.”

“Seira-sama! Please forgive me! I won’t do it again! Don’t-” The man’s pleas were cut short by a swift kick to the head courtesy of Ria.

“Don’t interrupt when onee-sama is speaking or I’ll kill you.”

“I think I owe you a little history lesson,” Seira continued without missing a beat. “The organization was founded in Kyoto in the seventies. We started as Saint Snow but when we expanded our operations to Tokyo, we used the name Blue Men and it was managed by this person.” She cast a sidelong glance at the quivering man on the floor. “Everything was fine until he kidnapped you of all people and allowed the police to wipe out many of our Tokyo members. If he’d taken that orange head as planned, the Tokyo branch wouldn’t have suffered such heavy losses because she’d be dead before the police could track her down.”

A crippling chill shot down Tsubasa’s spine. Her sweet Honoka… gone, if she hadn’t intervened back then.

“The surviving members scattered and eventually sought refuge at Saint Snow. I’m here now to rebuild the Tokyo branch. But I can’t say I’m not grateful for his blunder. Because of him, I discovered you. Your perseverance and intelligence impressed me.”

“How did you know?”

“I might have been in Kyoto at that time but I have eyes here too. I told the Tokyo members not to kill you because I wanted to see what else you could do and you didn’t disappoint when you got your cop buddies to show up.”

“Are you saying I should be thankful to you for sparing my life? You caused me to become like this and now you expect me to work for you?” Tsubasa’s voice dripped with sarcasm.

“You were simply at the wrong place at the wrong time. Remember, you weren’t our original target.” Seira walked towards the sword behind her desk and removed it from its scabbard. “I expected you to feel this way so,” she handed the sword to Tsubasa, “feel free to do what you want with him. After this, put the past behind us and let’s work together. Don’t lose sight of your goal. The ones you want revenge on are the police. _They_ betrayed you.”

The choice was clear. She already knew what she wanted long ago. “Makes sense. I’m all for the big picture,” she said with a shrug.

“No, no! Seira-sama, please spare me!” The man lunged forward on his knees. “I won’t do it again!”

Tsubasa frowned. “What’s he talking about?”

“He tried to run away after I told him he’d be meeting you today. The organization has no place for cowards so I don’t care even if you kill him. Actually, yes, I want you to kill him.”

 _How vicious._ Tsubasa gripped the handle of the sword. It felt heavier than before.

“Well?” Seira prodded. “If you’re going to be soft-hearted, I don’t think I need you too.” Her words were the cue for Ria and Jiro to point their guns in Tsubasa’s direction.

_There’s no way they’d let me go if I refuse. I know too much already. The location of this place, the organization’s history… Kazuno Seira, you planned this from the start._

As much as Tsubasa hated the man for what he had done, it didn’t mean she was fine with killing him in cold blood but she doubted the rest would be satisfied with her simply taking one finger. This was a test through and through. Kill or be killed. The guns were still trained on her. One wrong move and everything she had worked for would be over. Raising the sword, she moved towards him slowly. He clambered back with each step she took, his face a total mess. Snot. Tears. Sweat. She sniffed. And was that pee?

“What? Peeing in your pants already?” she mocked loud enough to draw everyone’s attention to the growing puddle beneath him in hopes that they would say something, anything, while she racked her brain for a way to get out of this without shedding anyone’s blood.

**BANG!**

She jumped, barely holding onto the sword. The man fell with a thump. Crimson blood flowed from the gaping wound in his head while bits of pink brain splattered onto the white wall behind him. Stiffly, she turned. The person who fired the shot was neither Ria nor Jiro, but Seira.

“Disgusting,” uttered Seira, uncharacteristically outraged. “Get someone to clean this place. And make sure to disinfect!” Then she stomped out, leaving a stunned Tsubasa with the other two.

“Count yourself lucky,” Ria huffed and exited the room as well.

Lady Luck had smiled on her indeed but what the hell just happened? Looking over at Jiro, she got nothing from his impassive face. Either way, she was glad he had kept his gun. Turning back to the slain man, she said a quick prayer in her heart. She never knew his name but she owed him one, as absurd as that sounded.

* * *

The night breeze fluttered her hair, irritating her eyes. She missed having short bangs. Sticking her tongue to her second last molar, she rubbed her throbbing right cheek. After the intense encounter at Seira’s office, she had been led to the room with the dental chair and got a cyanide pill fitted into one of her teeth. She guessed that meant she had been accepted as an official member of the organization. However, resting on her laurels was the last thing she should do if she didn’t want a bullet in her head.

Fake tooth, prosthetic finger, knee implant… She was slowly turning into the Terminator. Ha ha, not funny. She placed a hand on her chest, feeling the steady rhythm beneath. At least her heart was still beating, and she swore to keep it beating for one person.

_Ding dong!_

The cheerful chime sounded from the convenience store across the road and out stepped Honoka, holding a sandwich in her hands. Tsubasa fought with every fiber of her being not to run over, pull her into her arms, and tell her everything. _Don’t go, don’t go._ She pleaded silently but it wasn’t long before Honoka disappeared round the street corner, leaving Tsubasa to stare wistfully at the empty spot. She bit down hard on her trembling lip. As she deliberated on whether she should keep following Honoka, a yellow taxi pulled up in front of her, stopping her before she did anything rash. She peered through the rolled down window and caught a glimpse of the masked female driver. Stalking time was over. Taking one last look at the street corner, she dragged herself into the vehicle. Cool air washed over her sticky skin, a welcome respite from the humidity outside. She couldn’t help a sad smile at memories of Honoka begging for rides in her car whenever summer rolled around.

“I passed by Honoka-san just now. Were you tailing her again?” the muffled voice of the driver asked.

“You know the answer,” Tsubasa stated, meeting her superior’s golden gaze through the rearview mirror. “Anyway, I’ve officially joined Saint Snow and as suspected, they’re the Blue Men. Their leader is a woman called Kazuno Seira. She values me a lot but is still wary because I was with the police so I need to work harder to prove my worth. She wanted me to kill someone today.”

“Did you?”

“Almost, but she beat me to it.”

“Good. Remember, murder is not permitted.”

Tsubasa laughed. “Easy for you to say when you aren’t the one with a gun pointed at your head.”

“You know how complicated things can get if you do it, and you’ll be prosecuted as well.”

“Or I could just be killed and fed to the dogs.”

“Tsubasa-san…”

“Right, right, sorry.” Tsubasa leaned her head back, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment to gather herself. “I just needed to let off steam. It’s been… crazy. I haven’t had a good rest in months.”

“I know. It’s been hard on you,” Supt. Minami said. “I’m sorry you have to go through this but you’re our best hope.”

Tsubasa waved off her apology. “It’s fine. I agreed to it myself. If the great Kira Tsubasa can’t pull this off, no one else can, right?” She chuckled dryly at her own joke. “Anyway, I’ll get closer to Seira.”

“What’re you planning?”

Tsubasa thought back to the family portrait and Seira’s fixation with cleanliness – as well as her apparent interest in women, or Tsubasa in particular. “I’ve some ideas.”

“Be careful. Don’t let your feelings affect your judgement.”

Tsubasa looked almost offended. “What do you take me for? A newbie?”

“You nearly gave yourself away to Honoka-san the night you were brought in with Taka. If I hadn’t stopped you in time, your cover would’ve been blown,” Supt. Minami reminded, effectively shattering Tsubasa’s confidence.

“That was different.” The creases across Tsubasa’s forehead deepened. “She’s Honoka. I miss her. And it kills me every day, knowing I was the one who hurt her. She didn’t deserve all that crap!”

“Sorry.” Supt. Minami’s tone softened. “I promise I’ll explain everything to Honoka-san and the rest when the time is right.”

“That’s if I’m still alive.” She was practically a juicy piece of steak dangling over a crocodile-filled river, ready to be devoured the moment she dropped her guard. If she died, the police would simply treat her death as an unfortunate incident and deny any ties they had with her so as not to endanger the other undercover cops out there. What a thankless path she had chosen.

They fell silent for a while and Tsubasa turned to stare blankly at the passing scenery before Supt. Minami spoke up again.

“How’s your leg?”

At that, Tsubasa ran her palm over her right knee. “It acts up when I overwork it so painkillers are my best friends now. I might end up with a real limp if I keep doing it,” she remarked wryly. “I can feel the pain getting worse.”

“I’d tell you to take it easy but it’s virtually impossible. I’ll talk to the doctor and see if there’s anything he can do.”

“It’s either I get a second knee replacement or an amputation, I know that already.” Tsubasa sighed. “I just hope it’s all worth it in the end.”

“It will be,” Supt. Minami assured. “Anyway, now that Saint Snow has accepted you, it’s time to roll out Phase B.”

Tsubasa sat up, uneasiness written all over her face. “Do we really need to? Honoka’s going to hate me even more.”

“We’ve talked about this before. Unless you have a better plan?”

The inspector deflated like a balloon. “No…”

“This is the most crucial part of the operation. If you pull it off, you’ll shoot up Saint Snow’s ranks in no time.”

Burying her face in her hands, Tsubasa kept silent, knowing that anything she said now would be useless – and downright caustic. By the time she was dropped off near her apartment, her mood was practically in the dumps. She gazed up at the midnight sky dotted with milky speckles. One of them flickered weakly, dull and lifeless, before vanishing into the inky canopy, not a trace of its existence left. Among the countless stars, its loss hardly made a difference, and she wondered if anyone would care if one more light went out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you find the last line familiar, yes, it is a tribute to Chester Bennington. Rest in peace, beautiful soul whose voice and music had lifted many out of their darkest times. May you be in a happier place now.
> 
> Thank you for reading as always. I’d hoped to get this chapter up on Honoka’s birthday but couldn’t make it in time and I didn’t want to rush and compromise on the quality of my writing. The beginning scene was a joy to write and I felt I was back in my element – writing a fluffy first meeting which was what I started with when I wrote my first TsubaHono fic. How time flies. Though it’s been more than a year since then, my love for TsubaHono has only grown. “In the Grey” is nearing its final arc but it’ll take a looong time before I actually get around to the end given how tired I am after work each day. That’s not to say I don’t have an idea for a new TsubaHono multi-chap because I do, though I’ve yet to work out the details. But of course, I’ll only start work on it after this story is officially over.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. Feel free to let me know what you think. See you next time! ^_^


	11. Track Me If You Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phase B of Tsubasa's plan to rise up Saint Snow's ranks kicks in. Will she see the light at the end of the tunnel soon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not dead! Though there were times I'd briefly entertained the thought because my life has been consumed by work and just seems so meaningless. Not to worry, it's just a thought which I'd never act on because there's so much to live for. Anyway, enough of me. I hope you guys will enjoy this update!

In Japan, summer means high humidity.

And mosquitoes.

A familiar, but so darn irritating high-pitched buzz whined in Nico’s ear. She flicked the itchy spot, rustling the overgrown grass she was crouching in. From her right, she felt Eli shoot a glare at her. Suppressing a groan, she returned her attention to the empty pier in the distance. _Focus, Nico. Ignore the mosquitoes. You’re the universe’s Number One Super Officer Nico Nico-_

The buzz returned. And a particularly fat bloodsucker landed on her arm.

_-Nii my ass!_

“I can’t stand it anymore!” She shot up, making herself a glaringly easy target should their opponents be around.

“The fuck you doing!” Maki hissed and tackled Nico to the ground. “Do you want to die?” She ducked low and pinned Nico down with her entire weight, already imagining bullets whizzing over their heads.

“They’re not coming! Just like the past three times. We’ve been here for almost three hours feeding these goddamn mozzies, that’s all!” Nico snapped, shoving Maki off her. “Seriously, what’s up with the shitty intel recently?” She threw an accusing look Eli’s way.

The blonde hated to admit it but Nico was right. Slowly rising with her gun at the ready, she surveyed their surroundings. No other humans in sight except them. All the tipoffs they had received about Saint Snow’s illegal activities had been nothing but huge time wasters.

“She’s not here,” Honoka deduced, putting away her firearm. There was an edge to her voice and it cut through Nico and Maki’s bickering like a knife. “We should head back.” Without waiting for the rest, she began the trek back to their vehicles. The team traded glum looks. They knew to trust Honoka’s intuition when it came to _her._

Among the rumors circulating through the underworld, two stood out:

Saint Snow was the new Blue Men.

If that wasn’t shocking enough, Kira Tsubasa was now their leader’s right hand.

* * *

Irritation crept upon Honoka. She glared at the winding path ahead, devoid of any cars at this ungodly hour. The raucous roar of her bike ripped through the night and before she knew it, she had raced far ahead of her team, leaving them in the dust as usual. Going way above the speed limit, she was courting death – and trouble with her traffic colleagues if they were to catch her being an utter road hazard – but it was the last thing on her mind.

She revved the engine, fingers curled around the handles in an iron grip, hurting a little. To a bystander, she was nothing but an orange and green blur.

Green like Tsubasa’s eyes.

She didn’t want it. But she couldn’t help it. Her resolve to buy a new bike that wouldn’t remind her of Tsubasa crumbled the moment she entered the motorcycle showroom last month. The lime green Kawasaki Ninja pulled her in with achingly sweet memories of the rides she had shared with Tsubasa. With Tsubasa’s arms wrapped snugly around her, the rest of the world simply fell away as they weaved through the streets, sometimes escaping the hustle and bustle of the city for a quiet night out in the suburbs.

Charming, kind, and intelligent. Those were the words Honoka would use to describe Tsubasa in the past. But now, it was this very intelligence that was screwing the police over again and again if the rumor of her working for Saint Snow were true. How the tables had turned. Instead of criminals falling for Tsubasa’s flawless traps, the police had become the ones to be played like fools. But how was she doing it? Leaving the force also meant she had no access to their extensive tracking network. They must be missing something.

_But what?_

* * *

At Saint Snow’s base, a plain-looking delivery truck slowed to a stop in the warehouse adjacent to the office building, its massive tyres grinding tiny stones against dark concrete. The front passenger door swung open and out hopped Tsubasa, her landing a tad choppy. Nonetheless, she had a proud grin plastered on her face.

“Hey,” she greeted the awaiting Seira with the casualness of an old friend. “We’ve got the goods.” She led Seira to the back of the truck where several men were unloading bulky wooden cases onto trolleys.

As one was pushed past them, Seira raised the lid of the topmost case and picked out a black handgun. “Here.”

“For me?”

“Figured you could use a spare.”

Tsubasa accepted the firearm which nestled comfortably in her hand, instantly recognizing the model. Its compact size and high shootability made it one of the most popular choices for concealed carry. “One can never go wrong with a Baby Glock, huh?” She whistled and tucked it in the 4:30 position of her waistband.

“You know your guns.”

“Have you forgotten who I was?”

“Right. Miss Ex-Inspector.” The corner of Seira’s lips curled. “Good thing you changed location. Our men spied the police waiting at the original meeting place. Just how do you always know where they’d be?”

“Simple. I know how those idiots work.” It wasn’t the whole truth, nor was Tsubasa lying. The knowledge was hers to manipulate alone; no one else needed to know how she managed to outsmart the police time and again. At this moment, a drop of sweat trickled down her forehead and caught on her brow. The Great Tsubasa or not, she was just as susceptible to the unbearable summer heat as everyone else. Her hand had barely lifted when Seira beat her to it and immediately, her attention was arrested by the sudden intruder in her personal space. Her breathing ceased. Kazuno Seira, the feared leader who possessed such a deep hatred for others’ bodily fluids that she killed a man because of his pee, was dabbing her perspiration with her bare hand. Tsubasa dared to wonder if Seira made it an exception for her and only her.

“Thanks.”

Seira withdrew her hand without so much as batting an eyelid. “Care for a drink in my office?”

“I never say no to a beautiful lady.”

“Quite the flirt, aren’t we?”

Tsubasa held Seira’s coquettish gaze with one of her self-assured smiles. “If you say so.”

The giggle that escaped Seira’s mouth sounded like a bell, vastly different from her usual husky voice. “Let’s go then. Ria will take care of things here.”

So busy buttering up to the leader, Tsubasa had forgotten about the hostile younger sister. As she turned to leave the warehouse, she felt eyes burning holes into her back.

* * *

Being alone in the office with Seira had the same effect as entering a lioness’ den. With no idea what to expect aside from the likelihood of never emerging alive, Tsubasa always uttered a silent prayer at the door. The chance that Seira had somehow found out her undercover identity nagged day and night at her, fraying her nerves.

“Change into this.” Seira handed her a fresh white shirt that was previously draped over the high back of her leather chair.

Tsubasa had to admit it was a welcome surprise, what with her damp shirt sticking to her back like a clingy ex – not that she had such an experience, of course. Honoka had treated her like any other filthy criminal the last time they met. She held back a sigh and undid her buttons, yanking her mind back to the present. “Is this your way of checking up on me?” she asked wryly. When Seira didn’t answer, she continued, “Or are you actually checking me out?” Peeling off her shirt, she kept a steadfast watch on Seira’s face, stretching her muscles a little more than necessary when she picked up the clean top.

“I must say I don’t mind the view.”

“How _straight_ of you- I mean, straightforward, of course.” Tsubasa grinned, obviously pun intended. Seira looked on the verge of another giggle.

“You know your charm points.”

“Definitely not my height,” Tsubasa quipped and this time, Seira erupted in a round of unbridled laughter. When it died down, Tsubasa decided to push her luck. “You know, I like to work with people who trust me.” She boldly brought herself towards Seira, the shirt still clutched in her hand. Fierce pink eyes bore into hers, all signs of mirth gone and she wanted nothing more than to eat her words. Dancing with death, that was what she was doing.

“Do you know who you’re speaking to?” Seira rasped, her voice dropping to a dangerous low.

It was all or nothing. Tsubasa took another step till she could make out the faint lines crinkling the corners of Seira’s eyes. “My absolute leader, that’s who. I’m giving my all to you and the organization. And I believe I’ve done enough to prove my loyalty and capability. All I ask for is your complete trust in me. We could be something. I feel the attraction, don’t you?” she breathed. Offering her entire self was a blatant betrayal to Honoka and it gave rise to a horrid taste in her mouth but she pressed on. “You’ve been interested in me before we even met.”

Seira laid her palm on Tsubasa’s chest, caressing the moist skin with splayed fingers before tracing an invisible line down her breastbone with a lazy but deliberate stroke. “What if I say no?”

“Then kill me. I have nowhere else to go.”

Seira closed the distance if it was even possible, their breaths mingling. “I don’t give my heart so easily.”

“I don’t expect you to. I will wait. And I’ll show you I’m serious.” Tsubasa steeled her gaze, knowing full well that Seira was searching her eyes for the slightest hesitation.

“What about the ginger?”

Tsubasa frowned. “Ginger?”

“The original target.”

“Oh, her.” Giving her most derisive scoff, Tsubasa all but snorted. “She’s nothing but a dumb bitch who has only brought me trouble.” In her head, she was killing herself a thousand times over as disgust devoured her conscience. Surely, she deserved to rot in hell for all of eternity; even jumping into a sea of bleach wouldn’t rid her of her sins. “You’re different. Smart, beautiful, ambitious. We have a lot in common.”

“You’re an attractive woman.” Seira’s hand cupped Tsubasa’s cheek. “And I do want to keep you by my side.” Fingertips ghosting along Tsubasa’s sharp jawline, they came to a rest on her chin, tipping it forward.

Tsubasa stilled her breathing, acutely aware that the tiniest movement would bring their lips together. For the longest moment in her life, neither spoke nor moved, causing her thoughts to run wild with all the possible scenarios that could play out from here.

Take the plunge, and amplify her guilt. Back off, and risk going back to square one. She couldn’t decide.

Then soft lips pressed against the corner of her mouth.

“I’ll tell you about our next deal over a few glasses.” Seira stepped back and twirled around, the slightest hint of a blush gracing her features. She made her way towards the modest wine rack on the wall and pick out a bottle with classy gold foil wrapped around its neck. “Red?”

Tsubasa, previously stunned, broke into a cautious smile. “You’re a tough one to crack.”

Seira threw a pointed look over her shoulder, eyes beckoning. “You said you’ll wait.”

That was when Tsubasa knew she was on the right track.

* * *

“I can say I’ve 95 percent of her trust now.” Tsubasa sank into the back passenger seat with an uncharacteristic slouch. She didn’t care. This was one of the few places she could relax and boy, did she need to. The low monotonous drone of the taxi’s engine, something she had never paid attention to, now had a magical, calming effect on her. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she wished the car ride would never end.

“That’s good,” Supt. Minami replied, voice muffled by the mask she was wearing. “Phase B worked. But as expected, the team’s really frustrated too.”

“I’m not proud of it. If Honoka finds out…” Tsubasa swallowed thickly. She opened an app on her mobile and watched as a red dot flashed among the grid superimposed over the map of the Kanda district. The dot remained stationary at an area Tsubasa couldn't be more familiar with. “Do you think she will?”

“Not if she continues to wear it which I believe would be the case. She still can’t move on. In a way, it’s good for us.”

“Its original purpose wasn’t for this.” Tsubasa put her phone aside and leant her head back. “She’d misunderstand for sure.”

“It's a risk we have to take. You mentioned Seira has plans to work with the Chinese?”

Tsubasa sat upright. Time to get down to business. “Yes, to bring in untested synthetic drugs. Similar to bath salts, flakka, and the like.”

“Synthetic drugs? But they don’t make much money. Why would she want to do that?”

“I can’t say for sure but it seems the Chinese organization has a sweet deal for Saint Snow if they help them break into the Japanese market.”

“It’d be disastrous if they succeed. New synthetic drugs have highly unpredictable effects. Destructive too.”

“I know. That’s why we’ve got to stop them before that can happen. Besides, that group is known to be power hungry. If they enter the scene here... I don’t want to imagine the chaos it would bring to the underworld.”

“Get as close to Seira as possible and dig more info out of her. I’ll reveal your identity to the rest after Saint Snow’s next deal goes through.”

Light flooded Tsubasa’s eyes. She sprang forth, grabbing the front passenger seat with both hands. “Really?”

Supt. Minami chuckled. How rare to see her grim subordinate perk up like a kid on Christmas morning. “Yes. We’ll need them to back you up when the Chinese come in.”

Tears misted Tsubasa’s vision and a large lump choked her. It hurt. But it was a pain she welcomed with open arms.

_Finally. Finally._

_Wait for me, Honoka. Just a bit more.  
_

* * *

The music was noisy and the people, a mash of bodies. The smell of grilled seafood and fried soba permeated the dense air, every scent triggering a memory she wanted to forget. Honoka maneuvered her way through the summer festival crowd, not quite knowing why she ended up here – or maybe she did. Summer was a season she held especially dear, not just because of her birthday but it was also the season when she...

She growled. Every action she did seemed to be an excuse to think of _her_. Yes, she wanted to help Tsubasa but that was it. They were never going back to the way they were.

She stopped by a stall selling soft serve. Something cool to distract her sounded good. Looking at the selection of flavors, she shuddered at a couple that would make more sense at a sushi place. Miso? Wasabi? Nope. A plain vanilla it'd be. One could never go wrong with the classic. But when her fingers wrapped around the crisp waffle cone, she nearly crushed it. 

_"Help! Thief!"_

_It was a typical scenario straight out of an unimaginative story opening. Honoka was minding her own business when the panicked cry of an elderly woman shattered her romantic moment with the vanilla cone she had just begun digging into. Whipping towards the source, she spied a lanky young man making away with a floral purse that clashed awfully with his outfit. She took a huge bite of her ice cream, wincing as her brain froze. Then with utmost reluctance, she chucked the rest away, mourning its demise in silence._

_"I'm on it, ma'am!"_

_Sprinting after the thief, she dashed across busy roads as cars blasted their horns at them. She imagined herself as a spandex-clad superhero as she vaulted over railings with much gusto, only to collide with passers-by. No doubt she still needed work on her finesse. She was never going to become Wonder Woman at this rate!_

_"Honoka-san?"_

_A surprised utter drifted into her ears when she ran past a convenience store but her mind didn't register who the voice belonged to – not when she was hot on the heels of a criminal. Off-duty she might be, she was not going to ruin the good name of the Tokyo police force by letting him get away._

_"Stop right there!"_

_She spotted her chance. The path ahead was packed with people checking out a product demonstration held outside an electronics store. The crowd would surely slow him down. With that thought, she charged full speed ahead._

_Then he did the unexpected. Grabbing a stroller, he lifted it off the ground and flung it in her direction._

_Her eyes bulged. The crowd gasped. A woman screamed._

_The stroller tossed out its infant occupant. Unable to alter her course, Honoka could only watch in horror as the baby sailed through the air. It's gonna die, it's gonna die! And so would her short-lived career and the police's good rep._

_So much for being a heroine of justice._

_"Sorry!"_

_Two powerful thuds struck her back in quick succession as someone used her as a springboard. Wind knocked out of her lungs, she went splat against the concrete in the most unglamorous fashion. The curses died in her throat when she looked up._

_Did God send his angel to save the day?_

_With the dazzling sun outlining her graceful silhouette, Kira Tsubasa leapt over her with the precision of an Olympic gymnast, her short but silky tresses fluttering in the wind. She easily caught the infant in a protective embrace and landed before its shell-shocked mother. "Here you go." Handing over the precious bundle, she had time to perform a bow before turning around to send a wink Honoka's way. "Don't fall behind, Honoka-san!" And off she went after the thief._

_Honoka had to pick her jaw off the ground. So... cool! The recently promoted inspector had made it seem too easy!  Not wanting to lose, Honoka scrambled to her feet and continued her chase. But when the force's pride took action, there was not much left for others to do._

_What greeted Honoka when she caught up was the sight of the thief woozy and handcuffed to a railing, sporting bright bruises on his face as he sat on the ground like a stoned druggy. Next to him stood Tsubasa, not a hair out of place._

_"You... you… are... amazing!" Honoka exclaimed in between pants._

_Tsubasa shrugged. "Just keeping the streets clean. You're pretty good too. Great perseverance, I must say. Sorry for stepping on you earlier. You alright?"_

_The question reminded Honoka of her scraped palms. They definitely stung. "I'm fine... I think?" She gave a sheepish chuckle. "I'm pretty clumsy in the first place. But thanks for catching the baby! I don't know what I would've done if you hadn't appeared."_

_"Let me see that." Tsubasa took Honoka's hands in hers, scowling at the blood seeping through the broken skin. "I've radioed the officers in charge of this area to bring this guy back to the station. They should be reaching soon. After that, let's get you patched up."_

_Heat rushed to Honoka's ears as she caught a whiff of fresh apples and magnolia. So close!_

_"I-It's okay! I'll be f-fine!"_

_"I insist."_

_"But-"_

_"No buts."_

_Staunch yet tender, Tsubasa's gaze confused Honoka. Her hands, though rough with calluses, transmitted an inexplicable softness. Honoka couldn't quite put her finger on the odd sensation spreading through her chest. Foreign but not unwelcome. The feeling intensified when Tsubasa administered first aid to her, paying attention to every wince and displaying a degree of gentleness that one would least expect from a person who had no qualms about beating the living daylights out of criminals._

_But what sealed the deal was when Tsubasa disappeared into the convenience store and returned with a vanilla ice cream cone._

_"Here. A token of apology."_

_Honoka nearly fell over. “How did you know I was..."_

_"You have ice cream stains around your mouth." The fond smile that followed struck something in Honoka's heart. "Let me feed you?"_

_"E-Eh?"_

_"I don't want you to dirty your hands." Tsubasa glanced at Honoka's gauze-wrapped palms._

_Because Honoka's brain was incapable of coming up with an appropriate counter, she blurted the first thought that came to her. "Let's share it then!"_

_For the first time ever, she saw red spread across Tsubasa's face.  
_

* * *

Honoka sidestepped a child whom she almost walked into. So deep in her thoughts, she hadn't paid attention to her surroundings – nor the ice cream that had melted into a sticky mess in her hand. Tsubasa would never have let that happened if she were around-

Honoka bit back a frustrated scream. _Stop thinking of her!_

But it was easier said than done. She blamed herself. If she hadn’t allowed herself to be pushed away so easily, would things have turned out this way?

_I could’ve done more, right, Tsubasa?_

She threw the cone into a nearby bin, using more strength than necessary. There went her plan of distracting herself with a cold treat. As she cleaned her hand, her phone rang.

* * *

She stared at the photos strewn over the table in Unit 47’s office. Her hands, balled into tight fists, shook. New intel had come in, this time with photographic evidence. The images depicted a very familiar brunette hanging out with individuals who had been identified as long-time members of the Blue Men.

“Honoka, do you want to take a break?” asked Eli as the others looked on with concern.

Honoka shot up, toppling the chair behind her. “Washroom.” Her voice came out strained, unable to say anymore. With a forceful shove, she nearly broke the ladies’ door off its hinges. She turned on the tap and splashed water at her face over and over, not caring even when her top was a sopping mess.

There was no escaping it. In all of the photos, Tsubasa was seen in close proximity of a particular woman, never leaving her side like a shadow. No one could confirm her identity but judging from the large group of Blue Men, no, Saint Snow members around, the team had reason to believe she was someone important – and so was Tsubasa. But what truly sickened Honoka was the way their eyes connected and the constant warm smile on Tsubasa’s face – a gesture that Honoka once enjoyed exclusivity to. Hunched over the sink, she clutched its ceramic edge with a death-like grip. She laughed. What was she expecting? A smooth operator like Tsubasa would have no trouble enchanting anyone she set her sights on.

"I'm such a weakling..."

They were over. It shouldn't hurt, yet it did.

"I don't love you... I don't... I don't!" She slammed her fist into the mirror. Shards rained down, slicing red across her hand.

She stared at her cracked reflection. Stupid, as if Tsubasa would care if she bled dry. She had someone new and – Honoka sniffed – more powerful now. Why would she want to return to a bumbling fool?

A familiar glimmer caught her eye. The peridot ear stud gifted by Tsubasa now stood out like a sore thumb. Reaching up with shaky fingers, she touched the hard surface of the gem.

Hope was for the weak.

It burned when she ripped the stud off. But it was like the chains shackling her heart finally broke; the satisfaction startled her. They were police and thief now – no more, no less. Dropping the gemstone to the ground, she stomped on it again and again, convinced she was destroying her useless old self.

Until something clacked under her sole. She froze. It didn't sound right. Gingerly, she moved her foot aside and stared at the stud – or rather, pieces of it – in bewilderment.

_An imitation?_

But Tsubasa was no cheapskate; she would never settle for fake goods. Honoka crouched down and peered at the bits. What she saw made her skin crawl.

"N-No way...."

Scooping them up, her hands trembled like never before.

"A microchip...?"

* * *

Umi burst into their office, heart racing. The confirmation she had received from their Technology Department sent her mind into a whirl. She met the rest of her team's apprehensive gazes.

"It's a tracking device."

Nico jumped up. "But Honoka got it from Tsubasa way before all this happened!"

"It can only mean one thing," Maki said. "Tsubasa-san had been a mole for the Blue Men since the start."

The words hung in the air like a death sentence. No one spoke, finding it hard to accept the sudden revelation. The force's ace, a mole? Absurd! But there was no other way around it with the proof laid out before them. When Honoka returned with a face drained of color earlier, the team knew it was bad news – just not _this_ bad.

"She had been using me all along," mumbled Honoka, eyes glassy and unfocused. "She never...” A choke. “... never loved me..."

"Honoka..." Eli began but stopped. Words of comfort would be of no help at all.

Umi stood beside her good friend and squeezed her shoulder. "You have us, Honoka. We're here." Turning to the rest, she said, "The tech team said they could salvage the device, meaning we could use it against Kira-san. With the right plan, we'll be able to intercept Saint Snow's deals."

"How long will they take to fix it?" asked Eli.

"Tomorrow, latest."

"Good. We must inform Supt. Minami about this." Taking out her mobile, she called their superior but no one answered. "Odd. She usually picks up immediately."

"I'll ask Kotori. She told me they'd be having dinner together tonight," Umi said. Just as she unlocked her phone's screen, it rang with an incoming call from her girlfriend. "Kotori, I was just about to-"

Sobs filled the line, cutting her short.

**_"M-Mother, Mother..."_ **

A chill shot down Umi's spine.

**_"Mother got in-into an a-accident..."_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, good luck, Tsubasa. I'm not making your life any easier, am I?
> 
> As always, I'd love to know what you think about this chapter. Feel free to share your thoughts below. I'm not sure how long I'll take with the next update (this one obviously took longer than expected) but I'll do my best. I can't let work get the better of me. Take care and I'll see you next time!


	12. You Know Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unit 47 turn the tables on Saint Snow after discovering Tsubasa's tracking device. In the ensuing chase, Honoka finally catches up with Tsubasa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive! Man, has it really been 5 months since the last update? If you're reading this, thank you for your patience and for staying with me. Aside from work keeping me busy, my old laptop also died and it took me a while to get a new one. But again, I assure you that I'll finish this story; it's just going to take longer than originally planned. I do have a surprise in store for you folks - the story art for "In the Grey", illustrated by the wonderful noelclover who also did the art for "Warm Cocoa Melts the Heart"! Thank you, noel!
> 
> noelclover is open for [art commissions](http://noelclover.tumblr.com/commissions), so please hit them up if you're keen!

Tsubasa popped a small handful of painkillers, fully aware it wasn’t the wisest idea but she needed to be in her best condition. Screwing up was not an option. If she could pull through tonight, her days of being a misunderstood villain would be over and the others would finally know the truth. Supt. Minami would reveal her identity, she had promised.

Loading the gun with practiced fluidity, she couldn’t help the smile on her face. Thoughts of reuniting with Honoka tingled every fibre of her being. A few slaps – or even a body slam – were in order but she’d gladly accept them if it meant Honoka would have her back.

“Looks like someone is in a good mood.”

“Of course.” Tsubasa would’ve jumped at the voice in the past but slipping into her fake identity had become second nature by now. And as crazy as it sounded, she’d come to find Seira’s company rather pleasant. The ruthless leader was all right to be around if one was in her good books – and Tsubasa knew she was. Still, it didn’t mean she could lower her guard. “It’s another quality shipment today and that means lots of money. Anything to help you build your empire.” She tucked the gun against the small of her back and surveyed the armory room, making sure she didn’t miss anything.

“You’re getting better at bootlicking.”

“I told you. You’ve got me real bad here.” Tsubasa jabbed a finger at her own chest. “I’m still waiting for you to accept my feelings.”

“You’ll wait, won’t you?”

Tsubasa’s smirk froze in place. She thought she’d detected a flicker of doubt in Seira’s voice. “I swore, didn’t I? I’m just afraid of the could-have-been if I get killed in action one day.”

“If you die so easily, you aren’t worth my love.” For words that were meant to discourage, they hardly sounded convincing. The queenly gaze that was so characteristic of Seira was oddly absent too.

“Will you regret it if I die?” Tsubasa probed, feeling she was on to something. The question seemed to have made a crack in Seira’s defense but she turned away and kept silent, signalling the end of the conversation. Tsubasa studied Seira’s back which was a little hunched and lacking her usual poise. “As discussed, I’ll check out the area with the boys,” she said, changing the topic. “If all’s clear, I’ll give you the signal to join us for the meeting with their leader. Ria will be with you, right?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Then I have nothing to worry about.” Tsubasa adjusted the grip on her walking cane and made for the door.

“Wait.” Seira grabbed her arm. Not meeting Tsubasa’s eyes, she said in a quiet voice, “Make sure you don’t die, not today, not anytime in the future. That’s an order.”

 The words came as easily as breathing. After all, she had no plans to meet the Grim Reaper yet.

“I won’t."

* * *

“This is where the deal will take place according to the tip-off.” Eli marked a red ‘X’ on the map of Western Tokyo spread across the whiteboard. The Tech Dept has already fixed the tracking device and planted it on Hoshizora-san’s bike. She’ll set off with us but when we reached this point,” Eli tapped her marker at an intersection, “she’ll make a left turn while we keep going straight. If Kira-san is tracking, she’ll think we got a wrong tip-off and proceed with the deal. Everyone clear?”

“Yes, ma-am!”

“She’s going to pay for what she did to Supt. Minami,” Umi muttered.

“I know you’re upset but remember, we need her alive so don’t be reckless,” reminded Eli. “The objective of this operation is to capture Kira Tsubasa. She holds the information we need.”

“Killing her would be too easy a punishment.” Umi turned to Honoka. “Don’t you go soft on her. Think of how Kotori is feeling now.”

“Oi, oi, aren’t we jumping to conclusions here?” Nico spoke up. “We’ve no evidence it was Tsubasa who caused the crash.”

“Do you still look up to her at this point?” Umi snapped. “She was never truly working for the force. For all we know, Kira Tsubasa might not even be her real name!”

“Take a chill pill, woman. I’m just stating a fact.”

“For once, I agree with Nico,” Maki cut in before Umi could unleash her retort. “Kotori only said she saw Tsubasa walk past the restaurant they were in. The accident happened much later.”

“She could’ve tampered with Supt. Minami’s car,” Umi said.

“Investigations turned up nothing. And the other driver has no connections to the underworld.”

“He could’ve been bribed.”

Maki groaned. “I’m done talking to you. You’re losing your head because this involves you girlfriend.”

Umi shot up, slamming her hands on the table. “I’m not losing my cool!”

“Yes you are. Listen to yourself now.”

“Why you… Where’s your respect for your superior!”

“Enough!” Eli barked. “We’ll find out if Kira-san’s guilty after we arrest her. Is arguing now going to help? I will _not_ have any infighting before such an important mission. If you can’t keep your emotions in check, you can stay here.” She glared pointedly at Umi. The rare show of assertion crumpled the lieutenant’s stubbornness, forcing her back in her seat.

“Sorry,” Umi mumbled, wringing the hem of her shirt. “I should’ve more self-control. It’s just that seeing Kotori so heartbroken makes me so mad…”

“I understand,” a voice that couldn’t be any calmer said. “If it’s her, she’ll pay,” Honoka vowed, determination lacing every word. Her eyes, once filled with pain, now shone with the clarity of a hunter on the prowl.

* * *

Tsubasa propped her elbow against the open car window, scrunching her nose when the driver beside her took a long drag of his cigarette and exhaled, fouling up the car with eye-watering smoke that scratched at her throat. She sat up a little and cracked her neck, the crisp ‘pop’ a satisfying sound to her ears, before returning her focus to her tracking device. The red dot was heading towards the meeting place.

_Looks like we have to change locations. Their tip-offs have been spot-on lately._

Just as she was about to send a message to the other party, the red dot made an unexpected turn.

_What…? Did she lose her way?_

She monitored the dot which continued to head west, not showing any signs of correcting its course.

_Could it be they got the wrong info? That’s a little too lucky for us._

Having gone through numerous life-and-death situations, she had got into the habit of suspecting everything. Besides, good things never came easy so all the more she should be cautious. But could she be overthinking it? Her tracker had yielded positive results all this while so she had no reason to doubt it. And the earlier she completed this deal, the earlier she could report to Supt. Minami, and the earlier her name would be cleared.

_Honoka…_

Mind made up, she said to the driver, “Let’s proceed according to the plan.”

* * *

Dried leaves crackled under their shoes as they weaved through the looming trees. Slivers of moonlight streaked through the heavy foliage, barely enough to keep a normal person from losing his way. But Tsubasa and the Saint Snow members came prepared. Armed with powerful flashlights, the small group combed the densely wooded area, making sure all was clear before Tsubasa gave their leader the green light to join them. She’d much prefer the discretion of night vision goggles but she’d roll with whatever she got. She didn’t have the police’s equipment at her disposal anymore.

 ** _“Tsubasa-sama, a van is heading this way,”_** one of the lookouts’ voices came through her earpiece.

Tsubasa flicked her gaze towards the main road. “Everyone off your lights,” she ordered and in the next second, all was dark. Then she said to the lookouts, “See if they are giving the secret signal.” She hid behind a thick trunk, spying on the happenings at the road. _Please don’t let it be the cops_.

The van slowed to a stop and five light flashes, alternating between long and short, was shone from the front passenger seat.

**_“It’s them, Tsubasa-sama.”_ **

Tsubasa released a long breath. “Good. We’ll go over. Continue to keep watch for the cops.” She glanced at her tracking device before she moved out. The red dot was nowhere close.

The other party was a bunch of young men who looked no different from normal folks on the streets but they had good heads on their shoulders, possessing skills highly valued in this illegal trade – which was why they were able to offer heroin in its purest form when many others had taken to mixing in cheap fillers.  Tsubasa checked the goods, verifying that they were the real deal. She signalled her men to pay up and move the goods to their car. When all was done, she contacted Seira. It was time to move on to the next part of the deal – for Seira to assess if they were worth forming a partnership with.

Tsubasa kept her eyes peeled on the dealers, playing the role of a loyal dog as the meeting went on without a hitch. Seira, pleased with the foresight and shrewdness displayed by the group, agreed to future deals with them. As a final gesture, their leader reached out for a handshake only to be met by Tsubasa’s hand instead.

“My apologies but I’m the official handshaker,” Tsubasa said wryly, a smile ghosting her lips as she caught Seira’s appreciative gaze.

The odd statement raised the other party’s eyebrows but they didn’t make a fuss out of it. Who would when they got to work with the formidable Saint Snow?

“We look forward to the next time we-”

The ear-splitting roar of a motorcycle racing down the road cut Tsubasa off. Her breathing stilled. The ominous rumbles of numerous cars followed closely behind. Blood drained from her face, she reacted purely on instinct.

“THE COPS!”

Their men surged forward to provide cover while Tsubasa pulled Seira into the darkness of the woods. It was too risky to get into the car. They’d have to trust their men to hold the fort while they made their escape. Twigs snapped under her feet. Random rocks threw her off balance. Rough bark scraped her shoulders. How did it turn out this way? Was her tracker malfunctioning? Her mind whirred as gunshots rang out in the night, bullets peppering the trees around her. A strangled cry and a thump to her right. Man down!

The uneven ground made running harder than it already was and her knee screamed at her to stop. But she pressed on. All her efforts would be in vain if she got caught now. A grunt left her lips. She should’ve taken more painkillers just now. As they scampered, it somehow evolved into Seira pulling her along and she couldn’t help but wonder what kind of face Seira was making. She could’ve just left her alone and made off on her own. Perhaps she was keeping her as a meat shield, or she was saving her for the eventual slaughter. No one messed up in Saint Snow and lived to tell the tale.

“Keep going!” The words shattered her trail of morbid thoughts.

“Huh?”

A strong tug on her arm.

“You promised me you won’t die,” Seira bit out between huffs and all Tsubasa could manage was a snort. The irony of the situation. It meant one thing though: she had successfully wormed her way into the enigmatic leader’s heart. The orange glow of streetlights caught her eye and she almost whooped in joy. If things went according to their backup plan, Ria would be there waiting for them at the clearing.

“Tsubasa! I know you’re here!”

Her joy died in an instant. Honoka was the last person she wanted to meet now.

“You’re not getting away this time!”

 _Stay away!_ she screamed in her head. If Ria was truly waiting for them ahead, it wouldn’t bode well for their pursuers. The younger Kazuno was armed to the teeth – enough to take down a small army – and quick to erase all who stood in their way. At this rate, she’d be leading Honoka and the rest to their graves. She’d have to bite the bullet and take her chances to avoid the massacre that lay ahead. She shook Seira’s hand off, immediately sensing her bewilderment. “Leave. If you stay with me, you’ll get caught.” She wasn’t lying. With her bad knee, she was nothing but a dead weight. “I’ll draw them away.”

“What the hell are you saying?”

She could feel Seira’s incredulous glare on her. “Exactly what I said. Go before they catch up!” When Seira showed no sign of obeying, she gave her a hard shove. “GO!”

The torn look in Seira’s eyes was something she’d never expected to see and for a second, she felt the familiar hands of guilt squeezing her gut.

“Don’t you forget your promise,” Seira said, voice tight.

“I’ll be back before you know it.” _Smooth, Tsubasa._ She would’ve given herself a pat on the back if the situation wasn’t so dire. She watched with relief when Seira finally took off towards the clearing, disappearing among the trees. Turning around, she did a mental calculation of where Honoka was and fired a warning shot into the air above her.

“Honoka!” she called out and began tearing deeper into the woods. She just needed to stall them long enough for Seira to escape with Ria. “I can’t believe you miss me so much that you’ve stalked me all the way here!”

“You’re the stalker! You planted that tracking device on me!”

 _So that’s it._ “You’re smarter than I thought!” she yelled back, continuing her taunts and drawing Honoka in her direction. “My intelligence must’ve rubbed off on you!”

“Shut up!” Honoka growled.

Her footsteps sounded closer than before and Tsubasa braced herself for the inevitable clash. Every time they met since the day she accepted the cursed mission always added fresh wounds to her scarred heart. This would be the last time – as long as she could escape.

“I won’t forgive you for what you did to Supt. Minami!”

Tsubasa’s entire world froze over. She whipped around. “What?”

“Don’t _what_ me!” Honoka came to a stop a few metres away, panting heavily and gun locked on Tsubasa. “I won’t fall for your lies again.”

Cold sweat beaded Tsubasa’s forehead. “No, really. What happened to her?”

“You still dare to play dumb? She’s lying in the hospital now thanks to you!”

“In the hospital…?”

“I said stop acting dumb!” Honoka’s voice cracked. “You have nowhere to run so you better cooperate with us.” The leaves rustled under her feet as she inched forward.

“Tell me what happened to her!” Tsubasa demanded but Honoka was clearly too pissed to listen to anything. With a grunt, she launched herself upon Tsubasa, bringing them both to the ground. Twigs and stones dug into their backs as they tussled and fought to get the upper hand. Honoka was almost feral in her attacks and Tsubasa earned a few solid punches to her arms. But powerful as she was, she still lacked skill against Tsubasa who swiftly grabbed her wrists and pinned them above her head. Before Honoka could retaliate, a knee was driven into her stomach, knocking the wind out of her.

“Don’t bother fighting. You can’t beat me,” breathed Tsubasa. Chest heaving and cheeks flushed, Honoka looked utterly vulnerable beneath her. Tsubasa gulped, forcing certain memories to the back of her mind.

“The rest are coming. You can’t escape,” Honoka spat.

“You have to let me go.”

“Huh?” Honoka gaped at Tsubasa as though she had spouted the dumbest thing ever – which wasn’t too far from the truth considering their situation.

Tsubasa made a quick scan of their surroundings. “I know you won’t believe whatever I say now,” she said, dropping her voice to a whisper. “But I can’t go back with you. Not yet.” There was a flash of something in Honoka’s eyes and for a moment, Tsubasa thought she had her.

“Don’t… treat me as the idiot who once believed in you.”

Of course it wouldn’t be that easy. Tsubasa bit back a sigh. To Honoka, she was no different from the boy who cried wolf. “There are still things I have to do. You’ll regret it if you don’t let me go.” Staring at Honoka from such a close distance made her wish this moment would last forever. It had been so long – _too_ long. The shimmering aqua pools that she yearned to drown herself in were finally within reach.

 _I miss you. I miss you. I miss you._ Could she be selfish and say those words? She might never get a chance to after this. The only person who knew of her identity could be comatose or dying, she had no idea. What if her name never got cleared? She’d be stuck on the wrong side of the law for the rest of her life. No more light. Just darkness – and a future without Honoka and her old comrades.

Death might be a better option.

“Tsu…basa…?”

A meek voice stole her attention from her wayward thoughts. She peered down, noticing a damp spot on Honoka’s cheek. Something felt off. Her eyes burned. She blinked and a droplet fell upon Honoka. And another and another until it finally hit her. Stomach lurching, she sprang back.

“Tsubasa?” repeated Honoka, confusion etched all over her face.

The throbbing of blood filled her ears and her breathing turned erratic. She had overestimated her ability to control her emotions. As she was about to turn on her heel and make a break for it, someone blocked her path.

“Honoka!”

Survival instincts kicking in, she yanked Honoka up and twirled her around. Jabbing her gun under Honoka’s chin, she hid behind her, effectively turning her beloved into a human shield. Through her messy bangs, she spotted the familiar figures of Sonoda Umi and Ayase Eli. Her next words gave rise to a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Come any closer and I’ll shoot her!”

They froze in their tracks.

“T-Tsubasa…”

Hearing Honoka say her name three times today was probably the only consolation she’d get in a long while. So close, she could smell the sweet shampoo that Honoka used. She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Sorry, I don’t want to do this,” she whispered.

Honoka stiffened in her grip. “What’s going on? Why were you-”

“Tell them to let me go,” she ordered, not letting Honoka finish.

“Dream on!” Umi snapped. “ _You_ let Honoka go this instant!”

“We will not hesitate to shoot, Kira-san. Put your gun down. We’ll ask for a lighter sentence for you if you cooperate with us,” Eli said. “You know how it works.”

Tsubasa nudged the gun harder against Honoka’s skin, eliciting a strangled gasp. “I’ll blow her brains right here and kill myself. If you’re smart, you’d know you’ll have no use for a corpse. Let me go.” There was silence as they contemplated her threat and she could sense the dilemma clouding them. She began stepping back, dragging Honoka along.

“Stop this and give yourself up,” Honoka choked out and squirmed, hoping to relieve the pain where Tsubasa held her with an iron grip. Honestly though, she was more perturbed than anything. The only thing stopping her from wrestling her way out was Tsubasa’s odd behavior. What was up with those tears? Were they real? Or yet another Oscar-worthy act? She wanted to find out and despite her predicament, she felt inexplicably safe. This Tsubasa was the one she knew – and this Tsubasa would never hurt her.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I have my reasons.”

The pain behind those words was not lost on Honoka and she was getting frustrated. If there was still hope for Tsubasa, she wasn’t going to let it go, not when it could be her only chance. “Tell me.” When she didn’t get a reply, she threw in an offer. “Tell me and I’ll help you get out of here.”

A pause.

“How do I know if I can trust you?”

“You have no choice. There’s no way you can escape.”

Tsubasa chuckled lowly. “I can’t believe you have the guts to negotiate with me.” She prodded Honoka with the gun to make her point. “Don’t underestimate me. I still have tricks up my sleeve.”

Honoka frowned. “So?”

“So…” Tsubasa dragged her voice as she weighed the pros and cons of her options. “I’ll take you up on that. I don’t want things to get ugly.”

“Big words coming from a cornered rat.”

“You didn’t use to be so snarky.”

“And you’ve become a jerk.”

“Can I deny that?” Tsubasa’s tone softened. “So, are you going to tell them to stop pointing their guns at us?”

“It’s not us. It’s you,” Honoka bit back, not wanting to let her defenses down. She took in a deep breath and looked ahead at where her teammates were. “Eli, Umi-chan, let her go.”

“What are you saying? Don’t go soft on her. You said it yourself, Honoka!” Umi reminded.

“I will go with her-”

“Honoka, I don’t know what she said to you but she’s not the person we knew. Don’t do it,” Eli interrupted, not liking where this was going.

“She told me she’ll really kill herself if we don’t let her go,” Honoka lied. “If she dies, we’ll go nowhere with the case.”

“And you believe her?” Umi asked. 

“We can’t afford to lose our only lead. I’ll come back with some answers. Sorry, Umi-chan, Eli. Please don’t follow us.” Honoka sent a pleading look to Eli and mouthed ‘trust me’.

Eli deliberated for a moment and sighed. “You always make things difficult for me.” Directing her following words to Tsubasa, she said, “Kira-san, if you dare lay a finger on Honoka, we’ll shoot you on sight the next time.”

“Eli!” Umi glared at her superior, absolutely betrayed.

Eli ignored her and urged Tsubasa, “Go, before I change my mind.”

Tsubasa smirked, conscious of the role she was playing. “You have my thanks. But if I catch you following me, she’ll die.” As her threat loomed over their heads, she took Honoka with her.

* * *

The moment she felt they had travelled a safe distance away, she released Honoka and staggered towards the nearest tree to slump against. Now that her adrenaline had worn off, there was hell to pay.

“Hey!” Honoka knelt down beside her crumbled form, eyes wide with concern.

Tsubasa wheezed and groped around for her painkillers. God, even if Eli and Umi didn’t kill her, her knee would. When her hands felt nothing, she cursed. Not only had she lost her cane, she had dropped the painkillers too.

“What are you looking for?” Honoka asked, prompting Tsubasa to laugh in between labored breaths.

“Aren’t you being too nice to the enemy?”

“I’d have no trouble arresting you in your current state.”

“But you won’t.”

“Don’t act like you know me,” mumbled Honoka while averting Tsubasa’s gaze.

“I know you and,” Tsubasa dared to make a grab for Honoka’s hand, “you know me. That’s why you helped me.”

Honoka flinched, brushing Tsubasa’s hand off. “I… I want answers.”

Suppressing her disappointment, Tsubasa raised a brow. “Answers?”

“You know what I’m referring to.”

This time, it was Tsubasa who looked away.

“Have you been using me from the start? Have you always been part of Saint Snow? All the time we spent together… it was a lie, wasn’t it? You just wanted to get closer to me so that you could plant that tracking device on me!”

Tsubasa winced. The accusations came hard and fast, cutting her more deeply than the fingernails digging into her palm. She was now glad for her longer bangs as Honoka couldn’t see her true expression. Her eyes stung again.

A hand gripped her shirt collar and forced her to sit up. “I gave you my everything... everything!” She heard a sniff and a choke as Honoka’s grip trembled. “How could you be so… I… I thought you loved me…”

“I…” The temptation to correct Honoka hung at the tip of her tongue but she swallowed it. Steadying her voice, she opted for the vague way out. “I’m sorry.”

Silence hung between them. Honoka sniffled while Tsubasa willed back her own tears.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“Un. For now, at least.”

Honoka blinked. “What do you mean?”

“There are many things I can’t say at this point.”

“Tell me!” Honoka shook her, desperation leaking from every pore. “Tell me so that I understand! I’m… I’m so confused now. I don’t know if you’re a good or bad person. You’re giving me all these mixed signals. Just what is going on? Tell me, Tsubasa!”

Tsubasa clamped her hand over Honoka’s, half-expecting Honoka to pull back but she didn’t. For that, Tsubasa was grateful and managed a small smile. Gazing into teary blue eyes, she directed Honoka’s hand to her chest where her heart lay beating beneath. “I can’t say anything else but… please remember my words that night.”

“What-”

A car pulled up along the street – a mere fifty meters from where they were. Tsubasa snapped towards the source of the sound and a cold streak shot down her spine when she recognized the vehicle. “Take out your gun now!” she urged and Honoka obeyed out of reflex, sensing the danger as well. “Shoot me!”

But the absurd command stunned Honoka. Each second wasted meant a higher chance of Seira and Ria stumbling upon them. Left without a choice, Tsubasa snatched Honoka’s gun and pressed it up against her own left shoulder. “Shoot now,” she repeated. “Quick!”

“That’s crazy! I can’t!”

“Damnit!” Tsubasa pushed back Honoka’s trigger finger and nearly threw up from the pain that exploded in her shoulder. Fresh hot scarlet rose from the ruptured flesh, running down her spazzing arm and staining the sleeve of her shirt. Shoving Honoka off her, she got up and said through gritted teeth, “Stay down.”

“Where are you-”

“Don’t move. You’ll be fine. I’ll make sure of it.”

Their eyes met for a brief moment. _I’m glad to have met you today,_ she wished to say but the words stayed stuck in her throat. Breaking away, she hobbled towards the Kazuno sisters, trembling. Yes, she was afraid. The fate that awaited her could spell the end of her life but if it meant preserving Honoka’s, she’d charge towards the jaws of death – fear be damned. She had done it before and she’d do it again and again till her body could no longer move.

“Seira!” she called out, the corner of her mouth twitching. The two figures turned. _Act nonchalant, stay cool,_ she reminded herself. “You came back for-”

Ria’s arm flicked up.

“-me.”

Tsubasa barely registered the cold steel barrel pointing at her when the gun went off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please feel free to share your thoughts about the update. On my end, I'm glad to finally write about TsubaHono's confrontation here (because I'm also suffering from the TsubaHono drought). Thank you for reading and I'll see you next time!


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